Welcome back, friends, to the greatest of all tournaments - the BSD Meme Tourney Challenge. Sixty-four BSD Memes enter the cage - only one meme leaves victorious. Which meme will be crowned 2013 Champion? You'll decide in the coming weeks and days, during a drawn-out, overly complicated, utterly confusing, and totally unwieldy posting, commenting, and voting process, which will leave you frustrated and mentally exhausted by the end.
But we'll have a champion. So...that's kinda nice.
The bracket - (as always, click to embiggen, right click to save, print out, etc.) - shown below in full splendor, pits 64 glorious memes against each other, loosely organized into four distinct regionals: The Veterans Regional, for the long-time BSD veterans; The Rookies Regional, for, uh, yeah...rookies; The Scandal Regional, a period during which memes were created at an unheard of rate; and The Eleventy Regional, for which I have no explanation.
In this week's episode of BSD Meme Tourney, we're profiling The Rookies Regional - some of the more recent memes in BSD lore. Or, you know - if the meme isn't really that new, too bad. It's now in the Rookies Regional.
#1 Wanking Gifs vs. #16 Argyle Sweater Vests
Wanking Gifs earned the 1-seed in this regional through shear volume. Good luck finding a 100+ comment thread that doesn't contain Maurice Jones Drew. You'll struggle. But the 1-seed, in a slight play on words, faces a very stiff test from the criminally under-seeded #16 Argyle Sweater Vests. #16 Argyle exploded onto the scene in mid November 2011, during a broadcast television appearance (shout out to CNN) by BSD's Adam Collyer. Unfortunately, as most of BSD teased him in threads (and, uh, right on the front page), Collyer didn't get upset. By laughing at himself instead of getting angry, Collyer may have inadvertently submarined his personal meme glory. May Have. We'll know for certain soon enough.
#8 "Let's Have a Real Good Time!" vs. #9 HIT / Strength and Conditioning
As Pit Bull smiled and danced beneath a highway overpass with a Dr. Pepper in his hand, the rest of us suffered. The fact that this commercial usually followed a first quarter JayPa timeout in 2011 because we couldn't get a play called in time didn't help matters. Soon, Pit Bull's retarded grin found its way into every ridiculous, ranting football game thread.
But is his stupid face enough to overcome the countless hours wasted debating the merits of High Intensity Training? HIT may not have the raw power of Pit Bull, but it's a meme with endurance.
#5 VaTech ELITE vs. #12 Evan Royster Played Lacrosse
You can make history in a flash at BSD. You read a harmless recruiting update, drop into the comment section, and ask the community...'how is this guy elite if he doesn't have an offer from Virginia Tech?' And that's all it takes, really. We'll be mocking you for years, and as a 5-seed, VaTech ELITE could pull some upsets to make a deep run. But first, it'll have to get past #12 Evan Royster Played Lacrosse. (Who knew?)
#4 Anchorman References vs. #13 Junstrom Steals From Pay Sites
I love lamp takes on Jeff Junstrom stealing top secret recruiting information from pay sites, such as, oh, I don't know....Lions247....and publishing it right here on BSD, for free. Because Jeff didn't have a phone, he was forced to steal. Not really his fault. But things escalated quickly from there. I mean, they really got out of hand. Cari killed a guy with a trident.
#3 Emma v Blake vs. #14 DAMN SERVERS!
The Emma vs. Blake debate raged thru countless threads. And that's because it was a false dilemma: do you choose the skank who'll give you herpes, or the 14-year old that will get you locked up? You think you have a the right answer, but they're both incorrect (correct answer: BSDiva). If you try to chime in with a comment but screw it up, then you invoked the 14-seed, DAMN SERVERS!
#6 Moo Point / Pre-Madonna vs. #11 Assless Chaps
Here at BSD, the point is never moot, it is moo. If you argue that, then you're behaving like a pre-madonna. What's incredible, though, is that in the middle of a 'was Schultz the cops' debate, a 30-comment tangent thread developed over whether calling chaps "assless" is redundant. Is there such a thing as 'assed' chaps? Yes, and they're called 100% cotton Dockers. On the other hand, using the adjective 'assless' does lend a little extra color to the conversation that may not otherwise be present with just "chaps". Actually, that's two totally different mental images, for me at least. Let the debate rage on. And let the best meme win.
#7 Moxie vs. #10 Team BOBsled
Ah, moxie. Moxie is probably pissed that it only got a 7-seed. Moxie hates being typecast with the low-seed label. Moxie will show all you jerks who has the most moxie in this bracket. But first, moxie will have to get past 10-seed, Team BOBsled. It took maybe - maybe - two hours for new head coach Bill O'Brien to be (now permanently) referred to as BO'B, and maybe another three hours for his butt chin to adorn a USA Olympic bobsled. And we've been happily married ever since. [EDIT: It was actually at 12:53 am, Jan 6th....before BOB was hired. Congrats, PhilaLion]. [EDIT: as this overflow thread proves, the crowd wasn't all that enthusiastic at first].
#2 Douchea vs. #15 This Thread's Been Willie'd
Is 2-seed Douchea really a rookie's meme? No. But don't be a douchea about it being seeded in this bracket. Otherwise, I'll compare the douchea meme to legalizing pot, removing the PSU freshman swim test, or positing that Joyner should be fired. And then the whole comment section will explode and, possibly but not likely, shut down - affectionately known as "Willie'd".
Let the voting begin!
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