Success With Hyperlinking Is In Tears

USA TODAY Sports

Links, shameless self promotion and one of the funniest things Bill has ever seen.

It is a shame, a SHAME, that not everyone will see this video. I was derping around on Facebook yesterday when I saw it, and my God did I laugh. I laughed until I cried. It is beautiful. It's a man doing a "dance" to "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" in the most lol way possible. Alright. Time for links.

Read This Thing: You know how presidential candidates will make appearances all over the place so people like them more? Well, Cari has been doing that, as you know. She's basically our Mitt Romney, only nothing like Mitt Romney (well, other than the fact that neither of them are President). Her newest one is with the HORRIBLE MICHIGAN FANS fine folks over at Maize N Brew. Cari corrects an incorrect fact that the Maize N Brew guy throws out there, which proves once again that people from Penn State are smarter than people from Michigan.

Read This Thing, Shameless Self Promotion Edition: I'm gonna pimp my D.J. Newbill story until it wins me a Pulitzer, God dammit.

Troll This Guy: He coaches a college baseball team or something. He's also an asshole. Do work, BSD readers.

Oh. Hey. Watch Lists *yawn*: Watch Lists are like the Effort Award in Gym Class I won in 7th grade -- they don't mean anything. To prove that, a certain running back for USC that wears #25 was on the Maxwell Award Watch List last year. ISN'T THAT FUNNY, YOU GUYS? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Howevah, they are nice. They acknowledge talented players and what they should do in the coming year. Several Nittany Lions are on various watch lists this year, you can find a list of them here that will be updated until every Watch List is released (a few more days).

Whose Line Is Back!: Self-explanatory. Lana.....Lana!.....LANA!.....LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Dammit, Zayd: Zayd Issah keeps getting into trouble. I doubt he's a Nittany Lion, ever, which is a shame.

In Happier News: Odds are Penn State is a better school than your school (if you didn't go to Penn State, of course).

In Matt Sandusky News: Matt Sandusky, son of You Know Who (not Voldemort), and his family are all changing their names. Good. Unless this means the "WE R NEVAR MOVIN 0N" crowd is gonna harass him for not embracing the fact that he's a (adopted) Sandusky.

Your USMNT Update: They're in the Gold Cup. They won all three group stage matches and have an insane +9 goal differential. Chris "Wondowlowski" is leaving a trail of Central American/Caribbean bodies in his path. It's been great. Go to your local American Outlaws bar and watch a match. You'll have an awesome time.

SHARKNADO 2!!!!!: It's happening. MY LORD, IT'S HAPPENING. Also, it's re-airing on Thursday at 7 pm on SyFy. If you haven't watched it already, watch. Maybe I'll bring the Open Thread back. Good times!

Weird News: Some guy pretended that he was on the 1986 PSU football team. He ended up getting arrested for Impersonating a Federal Agent. It's a very long, fake, interesting story. Kind of like A Million Little Pieces.

And Finally, Something Awesome: Two people (I'm assuming they're Blue Band alums) got married. This happened at their wedding. Happy Wednesday, everyone.


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