Do you do dream interpretations as part of this mailbag?—WBF
I deliberately left off the rest of this question, because NO.
How devastated should we be that Haynes has decommitted? And how confident are you that the wrestling team will 4-peat?—SWHA
I’m not going to touch the Haynes situation besides saying that it’s arguable that it was his choice to decommit, but the fact that we are bringing in the nation’s #1 hwt recruit in Nick Nevills means that he really won’t be missed too much—it’s more a negative off the mat than on.
In terms of a four-peat, it depends on who will step up this offseason to take the place of Q. Taylor will of course be a threat for a championship, and anything less than that from Ruth would be a disappointment. Brown and Nico should both go far again in the tourney, but it was just those five in 2013—there was ultimately a big drop off at the NCAAs. If we can fill in those other weights to have guys wrestle for 3rd or 4th place (or hell, even in the 5th place match), we would be tough to beat with all the bonus points Taylor and Ruth will undoubtedly get us.
And you didn’t mention it, but the dynasty looks safe after 2014, too.
Does the commitment of O’Connor make playing Hack this year more probable as well? Granted, BO’B will play whoever earns it, but is there more freedom in that decision knowing the OC is coming?—Nittany SeaLion
I think so. Ultimately, it will boil down to Hackenburg himself and what he shows in summer camp, but most of us have high expectations for him. It also boils down, of course, to whether Hoss comes back or not, because those rumors are still out there and swirling. If Ferguson doesn’t return for summer camp, Hack doesn’t redshirt. Period.
O’Connor’s a definite safety net for BOB, though, and I definitely see him redshirting in 2014 to give him separation from Hack.
Sharknado: fact or fiction?—scrlion
I’ll let our resident Sharknado expert, Bill, take it from here:
There are many layers to this question. Sharknado, the film and its existence, is a fact. Fish falling from the sky is a fact: it has happened before, so I suppose it could happen with sharks. It is also a fact that I have told the Mrs. that the "actress" that plays Nova has joined Alison Brie on my Exception List (it was a very short conversation in that she hasn't talked to me since I told her). Oh, and Sharknado being the most entertaining film of the last decade is a fact.
On that last one, I don't mean Sharknado was good. Sharknado was shit. It was the shittiest shit to ever shit. But it was so bad that it was amazing. Have you ever been to karaoke with one friend who is so bad at singing that you have a great time at their expense? That's what Sharknado was. Only with less booze and you hate yourself a little more.
In fact, the only things about Sharknado that could never happen are, of course, this (although I can't prove that) and Tara Reid being a responsible mother with two children who are completely normal (which, well, yeah). Other than that, anything can happen. Especially the dad from Home Alone being a drunk. Yeah. Especially that.
Why are your maple bacon cupcakes so delicious? Is it because you’re a witch?—Jared
First of all, I’m an awesome baker. No witchcraft, just pure kitchen magic.
That being said, and I know I told you, I didn’t make those cupcakes…my sister did. She equals if not surpasses me in baking awesomeness. I’ll make sure that the cupcakes at the Michigan tailgate are all me, though.
When I next meet an attractive woman, should I just go ahead and say, "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"--Rambler
Only if you don’t want to date, let alone sleep with her. But if you want to be glared at and given the cold shoulder, go ahead!
I suppose there might be some women on whom that line would work. But I expect more out of a potential Rambler mate.
Why won’t she return my calls or emails?--ska
Dude, when you had to use plurals in your question, I think you might have answered it for yourself (love you, bro).
77% of women lie about sense of humor being the first thing they look for in a man.—WBF
While my default is to dispute any statistic that WBF might throw out there (side note: he’s on twitter now! Follow him!), I agree. I’d put the true number at like 5-10%. Sense of humor is immensely important, but the first thing? That’s just not true most of the time, though with anything there are exceptions. It may be the most important thing for a lot of women (I’d put that up there myself, along with an appreciation for football and Star Wars), but it’s not first in the sense that it’s what first attracts you to a person.
Just my two cents, anyway. But, then again, I’m single.
What are your thoughts on Bacon Bacon?—psfann
Bacon is awesome and everything is better with Bacon.
But it’s still no scrapple. /drops mic, walks off stage
That’s it for me this week…make sure you guys give Jared just as much to do with next week’s mailbag in the comments!
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