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What if I had a time machine? A hypothetical question about a coaching search you may have been following

Okay, this is in the manner of a Law School question, accept everything I say below as fact. I don’t want to hear about how we would have won against team X or team Y or that time machines don’t exisit. The question is the question and you must answer

Facts:

I have a time machine, and the ability to make Jerry Sandusky not total fucking shit heel. There is no Sandusky scandal, and there never will be.

Penn State’s record remains the same through Joe Paterno’s retirement and death in 2012. Tim Curley resigned and Dave Joyner as acting Athletic director hires Bill O’Brien as hired as the head football coach. Graham Spanier has retired for personal reasons. Rodney Erickson is acting president, the BOT remain shit-heads, but the general public is unaware of this.

To account for the sanctions, Bill O’Brien’s in 2012 record has been adjusted to account for wins against Ohio, Virginia and Nebraska but I presume a loss in the Big Ten Title Game and a loss to Georgia in The Capital One Bowl. So 11-3.

In 2013 I have added in wins against Minnesota and again Nebraska, abd we defeated LSU in the Outback Bowl, so we went 10-3.

Bill O'Brien leaves to go coach the Houston Texans, and your opinion of him is exactly the same as it was when the Head Coach of the real teams.

I can use my time machine exactly one more time, and the only thing I can do with it is bring back the Joe Paterno that coached the 1999 team. He will age normally, but shit happens, he may get hit by a bus tomorrow. He may not get cancer and live to be 100.

Do you hire Joe Paterno to be your head football coach in 2014, Yes or No? Why?

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