FanPost

BSD Endorses: The Case for Dave Joyner

Is this not the face of a man that instills confidence and entices trust?

This is the face of a man who played football under none other than Joe Paterno. He was also a finalist at heavyweight in the 1971 NCAA championships. He knows athletic success at this university. And from those academic successes, he became an orthopedic surgeon. This has all the makings of a Greek epic, the Paterno tragedy, the O'Brien flight, all culminating in the ascension of Joyner to head coach of the Penn State football team.

Dave Joyner is committed to the success of whatever position he holds. Why? Because he needs the money. Life is hard when you run your business into the ground. And as current AD, he's had exclusive insights into how Bill O'Brien was able to lead this team to success. He may not have actually paid attention to what O'Brien was doing, but it was hunting season. You understand. And that's what makes him so relatable. Think of the impact this would have on recruiting! While other coaches might talk to kids in their living rooms and discuss Xs and Os and championships, Joyner will discuss the importance of saving for retirement while holding the recruits at gun point out in the middle of a forest, far removed from other people.

And as a man of integrity, he is unmatched. He was a member of the Board of Trustees that decided to fire an employee of over 60 years by phone. And he fully embraced the conclusions of the Freeh report and the recommendations. Well, except for the one that said we should hire a real athletic director, someone who was previously unaffiliated with the university. But can you blame him? This was what he's been waiting for! A chance to bring the football team back to national prominence. And if that's successful, it could just be the beginning. He could get rid of that bum Cael Sanderson who has only won 3 national championships in his 4 year tenure and coach both sports simultaneously. I've heard he's also a pretty good squash player as well, so think of the possibilities! How can you even consider "successful" coaches such as Golden or Franklin when you have a modern day Renaissance Man such as Dave Joyner.

Still not convinced? Well then look no further than the search committee for the next head coach headed by none other than Dave Joyner himself. Dr. Joyner has exclusive insight into the opinions and strategies of all the coaches we're interviewing. With Joyner, we won't be hiring one of those coaches, we'll be hiring all of them. Just think of what it will be like at the first home game of the season as he leads the team onto the field. It will be exactly like the closing entry on his Wikipedia page (yes, he has a Wiki page!):

In October 2012 Joyner and Penn State President Rodney Erickson were booed by fans attending a Penn State football game.

So in closing, it's clear who we truly need as our next head coach. Who better to lead us than the person who has gotten us into this mess and has been there every step of the way as it got worse?

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