"Suicide Is Painless" will forever be our anthem, but let's provide some video from State College last night.

More photos » Tom Strattman - AP

9 days ago: Purdue's Robbie Hummel (4) puts up a shot over Penn State's David Jackson (15) during the first half of an NCAA college basketball game in West Lafayette, Ind., Sunday, Jan. 31, 2010. (AP Photo/Tom Strattman)

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One team came into the game ranked #10 and playing on their home court. The other team came in riding an eight game losing streak. So you could say things went about as well as we all expected it would. Purdue put Penn State on the ropes early and never really let them gather themselves.

The Boilers played some tenacious defense in the early going double teaming Talor Battle every time he got the ball. They extended the defense and forced him to give it up wherever he was on the court. But Penn State plugged away and kept it close with some good defense until midway through the first half when Penn State went on a seven minute scoring drought. I guess you can call it a sign of progress that they didn't really kill themselves with turnovers. They just couldn't get any shots to fall. But a little spark of offense led by Talor Battle driving to the lane and Bill Edwards pushing the fast break helped Penn State close the gap to just two points at the half.

You hate to see the half come just as your team goes on a run. It killed the little bit of momentum Penn State had going and allowed Purdue to regroup. Robbie Hummel scored nine points in the first two and a half minutes while Penn State went scoreless. By the time Bill Edwards hit a freethrow three minutes into the half, the two point deficit had blown up into 15 points and Purdue had the game pretty well in hand.

The Good

Bill Edwards played his best game as a Nittany Lion and recorded his first career double-double with 10 points and 13 rebounds. He showed the most hustle on the team in attacking the boards, and he showed some ability in creating shots for himself. He also played a crucial role in getting the transition game going. Several times he grabbed a rebound, brought it up the court, and created a scoring opportunity for either himself or a teammate. Sometimes he scored, and sometimes he threw the ball  into a teammate's shins. He's got some work to do yet, but today he looked like Penn State's second best player.

I was pleased with the poise the team showed today. Normally there is a point in every game where the other team gets on a run and Penn State panics. They compound the problem by making mistakes and giving the opponent more fuel for the fire. But I didn't really see that today, or at least to the degree we have in the past. When Purdue opened with a 19-4 run in the second half it was mostly because Purdue was hitting their shots and Penn State wasn't. There were some defensive breakdowns to give the Boilermakers some easy looks, but those are more forgivable than throwing the ball out of bounds or travelling. Ed was patient in letting them work through it. Eventually he called a timeout to stop the bleeding, but for the most part I thought they did a good job regrouping after that. I guess they are becoming numb from the shock of the other team getting momentum. Is that a good thing?

Once again Penn State outrebounded their opponent (31-30). And they shot 87% from the freethrow line.

The team only had 10 turnovers. Not great, but it's an improvement. Tim Frazier managed to log 22 minutes without a turnover. More of that, please.

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Ahh, Sunday.  God's day.  A day of reflection, praise, hope, and getting crushed by 25 points at Purdue (17-3, 5-3).  Penn State's history in West Lafayette is, how you say, butt-ass awful.  Last year, the Lions lost, 61-47.  In 2008, 67-53.  Purdue looked vulnerable for a brief, three-game stretch earlier this month in losses to Wisconsin, Ohio State, and Northwestern.  Since then, the Boilermakers have rebounded with wins against Illinois, Michigan, and Wisconsin.

As for Penn State (8-12, 0-8), they've squandered their most reasonable shots at winning a conference game, and now face today's road effort at Purdue, a Wednesday night game at Ohio State, and home dates with Minnesota and Michigan State.  There's a light at the end of the tunnel, my friends, and that light is the conclusion of the Big Ten tournament's first round.

The game will be broadcast on the Big Ten Network at 3:00 p.m.  Our Nittykitties are fifteen point underdogs.  If you're curious as to what a successful Penn State basketball team looks like, there's always the replay of PSU's second round NCAA tournament victory over North Carolina -- seriously, that happened! -- 8 p.m. Monday night on the BTN.

Battle music, yes.

The sad part is, Penn State looked rather competent and competitive for much of tonight's 77-67 loss against Illinois (box score), which brings the Nittany Lions to (0-8) in the conference.  Illinois couldn't miss to start the game.  All night long, they hit countless desperation shots as the shot clock expired.  PSU took two small, brief leads in the second half, but the same culprits inevitably appeared:  awful free throw shooting (12-22, 54.5%), a horrible scoring drought in the middle of the second half (two points in eight minutes as Illinois took control), and an inability to defend three point shots (9-18 for Illinois).

Penn State played hard, and yes, we're getting into the "trophies for simply participating" part of the recap. Chris Babb now realizes he can do more than just shoot threes.  Andrew Jones showed signs of life.  Talor Battle is still a gem and makes watching this awful program worthwhile. Ultimately, the overall talent's simply not there, and the coaching isn't good enough to overcome that deficit. 

Road games at Purdue and Ohio State are next.  0-10 seems to be a certainty.

More photos » John Beale - AP

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Suppose I told you before the game that Penn State was going to take the No. 19 ranked Wisconsin Badgersinto overtime on the road. Considering that the Nittany Lions had looked awful in their last two games against Indiana and Iowa and didn't look like they belonged on the same court with these same Badgers a few weeks ago in the Jordan Center, I would call that progress. But since Penn State carried a 13 point lead with ten minutes to go in the game, you can chalk it up as another colossal collapse by this young Nittany Lion squad.

The Good

Penn State came out with a lot of intensity and played like they wanted to win for a change. They jumped out early and led by double digits for three quarters of regulation. Jumping out quick is half the equation. The other half is playing equally well in the second half.

Andrew Ott is doing everything he can to solidify himself in the starting lineup. Overall he played a good game with six points and three rebounds in 28 minutes, and he mostly played some pretty solid inside defense.

Chris Babb had some key shots and scored 16 points. He's been playing with a sore finger he dislocated a week ago. Welcome to the Big Ten, son, where playing hurt is a way of life.

Penn State outrebounded Wisconsin 33-23. They have outrebounded every opponent in Big Ten play thus far. A truly astonishing statistic for an 0-7 team.

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But what the hell, let's run another version of the song.  Something a little more cheery, though.  Watching tonight's game should've been emo enough for you.

Okay, now what? 

After an 0-4 start in Big Ten play, Penn State had a chance to reverse its fortunes against Iowa and Indiana, two of the worst teams in the conference.  They lost.  Twice.  And didn't look particularly competent or confident in either effort.

Against Indiana, PSU's offense consisted of Talor Battle (7-18 FG, 22 pts) and Andrew Ott (6-9 FG, 13 pts).  Oh, and there were a metric assload of missed three-pointers by Cammeron Woodyard (0-4) and Chris Babb (1-7), who despite an injury to his shooting hand, continues to play way too many minutes (33 vs. Indiana) and launch ridiculous three's with little success. 

Aside from Woodyard, the Nittany Lion bench didn't do nothing.  Tim Frazier, Andrew Jones, and Jeff Brooks combined to shoot 6-for-11, scored 13 points, and nabbed 14 rebounds.  But the game turned on the numerous extra possessions given away by Penn State's lackadaisical defensive rebounding.  Whenever a Nittany Lion would lazily attempt to reel in a relatively uncontested rebound, Indiana would knock it away and end up nailing a gut-wrenching jumper.  And I don't know if you've noticed, but Penn State isn't the type of team that should be lazy about anything.  Somehow, that doesn't stop them.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld once famously said in a failed attempt to quote Confucius, "[T]here are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we now know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. These are things we do not know we don’t know."  With Penn State, there is good good effort.  These are aggressive plays that work out well.  There is bad good effort, like Talor Battle repeatedly screaming down the court until he's suddenly trapped in a double-team under the basket.  Then there is bad bad effort, most notably Jeff Brooks sloppily one-handing a rebound and having it stolen away, though we could cite any other of the numerous defensive rebounding fiascoes on display at the BJC Thursday night.  Bad bad effort will kill a team with Penn State's talent level, especially when an awful team like Indiana is given repeated chances to hit uncontested three-pointers.

In the end, Talor Battle is (agaaaain!) forced to win the game by himself, and he simply doesn't have the physical attributes to pull it off.  He isn't some sort of physically dominant post player who can be fed on every possession until he's stopped.  He's a 5'11" point guard being asked to do every single thing on the court when he's also 17th in the nation in percentage of minutes played.  Ed DeChellis managed to get Talor two minutes of rest tonight.  Two.  But who else can DeChellis trust at this point?

One truly frightening part of the Lions' slide is that Andrew Ott and David Jackson now appear to be the second and third best players on the team.  It's not a commentary on them so much as with the remainder of this unbelievably disappointing team.  Babb and Woodyard are one-trick ponies (the trick, incidentally, is bricking three-pointers), Jones and Brooks are slipping into complete irrelevance, and the freshmen have looked completely lost since Big Ten play started.

As for DeChellis, he's never been the most animated of coaches, but he looks lost right now.  There could not have been a greater contrast between him and Tom Crean, who was constantly encouraging his team and attempting to build their confidence.  At one point, Indiana capitalized on a PSU mistake and Crean turned around and admonished his own coaching staff and bench for not cheering loudly enough.  Teams with sub-par talent often need that kind of rah-rah stuff.  Far too often, the energy and passion is missing from the vast majority of DeChellis' team.  Not only is it fair to wonder if Penn State will win a Big Ten conference game this season, but it's time to seriously discuss whether DeChellis has completely lost this team. The team has already lost the fanbase.  There wasn't any audible booing at the conclusion of the ESPN2 telecast, just the polite shuffling of another sparse, disappointed crowd into the frigid central Pennsylvania night.

Is Ed's job in jeopardy?  Doubtful.  It's hard to believe that Penn State would fire a reigning Big Ten Coach of the Year, who just led his team to the NIT championship, a 27-win season, and received a three-year contract extension in October.  DeChellis is also the lowest-paid coach in the conference by a pretty significant margin, and in case you hadn't noticed, the university has never been particularly serious about building a winning men's basketball program.  Despite the paltry attendance at the BJC, television contracts ensure that the program is the only other profitable athletic team in Happy Valley besides the football team.  Do you really think Penn State would buy out DeChellis' contract, then turn around and sink a million dollars annually into the "big name" coach so many fans perpetually whine about landing?  Don't get your hopes up.

Darron Cummings - AP

Indiana forward Christian Watford (2) grabs a rebound during the first half of the Hoosiers' overtime win against Minnesota, Sunday, Jan. 17, 2010. Crap, they beat Minnesota?. We're screwed. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)

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[The game's on ESPN2, not the Big Ten Network.  You lose, America.]

If Penn State loses tonight, will they win any conference game this season?  Seems like a stupid question to ask just five games into the conference schedule, you say?  Well, smartypants, if you believe in Ken Pomeroy (and you should), tonight is Penn State's last, best chance to win a conference game this season.  Yes, it's only January 21, and this is it*. KenPom puts PSU's victory chances at 74% tonight.  Maybe he knows something about a Bloomington, Indiana H1N1 outbreak that the rest of us don't.

After tonight's game, here are Penn State's next nine games and their projected chances of winning**:

This. This is not good.  But it's open thread time, and you're familiar with the rules, such as they are.  Indiana is the enemy.  Swearing is best as garnish, not the main course. Your mood music, provided upon request.

* - Even with the dire victory probabilities, Pomeroy projects PSU for a 3-15 because that compilation of 20%'s will eventually result in a few wins.  Check the bottom of his chart and you'll see that PSU has a 1.48% chance of a winless record. Maybe we can be awesome, indeed.

** - These numbers have changed slightly since I put this post together last night.  Shut up.

More photos » Carolyn Kaster - AP

"Box Out!" (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

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I went to a small Catholic grade school when I was in elementary/middle school.  There were 20 odd other kids in my grade, and we had the same teachers for the same subjects in 5th-8th grade.  The English teacher I had in those years hung me for everything.  Missed comma here, typo there, everything.  I'd get my papers back marked up with more red than I knew what to do with.  Then I'd look at my buddy's paper, which was horrible, but had literally no corrections. 

I hated this teacher.  But in hindsight, I wouldn't have had it any other way.  She expected more from me as a writer.  She wanted me to work harder than anyone else because she thought I had the potential to be pretty good some day.

The Big 10 is Penn State's English teacher right now.  Granted, the Big 10 doesn't want the Nittany Lions to succeed now, or in the future, but teams like Iowa and Illinois hanging Penn State for the little things now will pay major dividends in the future.

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