So there is a crazy rumor floating around out there that Joe Paterno is going to shortly announce he is retiring for health reasons. And taking his place is going to be Jim Caldwell, the current assistant head coach and quarterbacks coach with the Indianapolis Colts.

So the aliens can't read our thoughts.

The rumor started through an email from a Pitt fan sent to a local Pittsburgh radio station. Personally I think it's bogus, but here at BSD we report and you decide. It doesn't make sense to me that Caldwell would leave Indy with rumors swirling about Tony Dungy thinking of retiring. Caldwell is the assistant head coach and a very hot commodity in the NFL these days. His name is coming up for several head coaching vacancies since the regular season ended. Why a guy that could almost have his pick of several NFL jobs would want to coach in college is beyond me, but stranger things have happened.

What makes this almost believable is Caldwell's ties to the Penn State program. Caldwell coached the wide receivers and quarterbacks from 1986-1992. So would the wayward son be interested in giving up NFL fame and fortune to take a shot at coaching one of the best college programs in the nation? You tell me.

Hat tip to Boiled Sports for this one. This is what we do in the off season when PSU football news is scarce. We make fun of other schoools.

The details of the arrest of Purdue wide receiver Selwyn Lymon were made available in court yesterday and you can't make this stuff up. Here is what not to do when the police show up at your house to investigate a domestic disturbance call.

1. Get in your buddy's truck and drive away.
2. Drive away with a blood alcohol content of 0.15.
3. Drive away in a car that does not have an ignition interlock device as stipulated in your previous drunk driving case.
4. Park said car in a handicap space across the street.
5. And finally, don't do this.

Hey, when a man has to go a man has to go.

When running from the police, better bring a pee jar.