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Hello Again Casual Penn State Football Fan

Dear Casual Penn State Football Fan,

You know who you are. You go to all the games. I've seen you. You're the guy giving me dirty looks through the windshield of your BMW when I step in front of you on Porter Road. I'm making my six mile walk to the stadium and you're just coming up the hill to your reserved parking space. You'll park and go through your VIP gate right up to your club seat where you will eat cheese and sip wine or whatever you do while I'm sitting on a cold aluminum bench still wet from the rain the night before eating soggy hot dogs and drinking watered down Pepsi.

Where they hell have you been? The last time we saw you you were getting on a plane to Tampa, FL. You never came back after that to read about the Outback Bowl. You missed a lot of fun during the offseason. We had a pretty good recruiting class. Not that you care or anything. You can't be bothered with knowing such trival things like who the starting left guard is. As long as you know the numbers of the running back and quarterback you're fine. I'm sure you can find their jerseys for sale at the Student Bookstore.

There was a little brew-ha-ha while you were away. Anthony Scirrotto (pssst...he's #7) got in a little trouble and dragged his teammates in with him. You probably saw a blurb about it while you were sifting through the sports page this summer looking for a coupon for $25 off new tires. It's all good now though and the defense should be fine. Not that you care or anything. We all know you like to check the score of the Notre Dame game on the flatscreen in your club box when the defense takes the field.

So what brings you around now? You must have gotten your season tickets in the mail a few weeks ago. You probably heard a co-worker mention something about us being pretty good this year. It's true. We're starting out the season ranked #13 in the Blogpoll. What the hell is a blogpoll you ask? Dude, if you don't know you better ax somebody.

But fear not, casual Penn State football fan. Come back here and we'll get you up to speed. We've got nine days until the season starts. So starting later today we'll break down each unit of the offense and defense and hand out preseason report cards. After reading through these you'll know every starter and most of the backups. And you'll know what to look for and what to hope for as the season unfolds.

So welcome back. It's good to see you again. Enjoy the season.

Sincerely,
Mike from Black Shoe Diaries

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Casual Fans
Are these the same people that aks you to sit down during a crucial 3rd down defensive play when the players are raising their arms for the fans to rise to the occasion and make some noise?

Gee, I hate those fans!

Settle it on the field!

by PSUncle1981 on Aug 23, 2007 10:14 AM EDT reply actions  

Oh I hate those people!
Ok. PSUncle has declared an impromtu bitch session. What annoys you about the "casual Penn State fans"?
Mike
Black Shoe Diaries

Hail to the Lion!

by BSD on Aug 23, 2007 10:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

Mike.......Please No!! Ax.
Hey Mel Kiper.......it isn't strenth......its StrenGth.  :)  
Eric Watters Atlanta, Ga.

by ech2os on Aug 23, 2007 10:14 AM EDT reply actions  

And These Are The Same People...........
that will talk through the game at the top of their lungs impressing their guests who have never been to a game before with all the misinformation they have about the roster, PSU History, and x's and o's.  :)
Eric Watters Atlanta, Ga.

by ech2os on Aug 23, 2007 10:16 AM EDT reply actions  

Why is it Mount Nittany?
Funny you should ask, discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it Nittany, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

by Nick Blonde on Aug 23, 2007 11:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

And
they take season tickets that were destined for ME!

by MarkoMancuso on Aug 23, 2007 10:55 AM EDT reply actions  

And
They don't show up for the Ohio State game because it looks like rain and it's on tv.
Mike
Black Shoe Diaries

Hail to the Lion!

by BSD on Aug 23, 2007 11:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

Pull!
Orange hunting gear.  Makes us look like dipshit Tennessee fans.

by Run Up The Score on Aug 23, 2007 12:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Let us not forget,
Those people who come to the game no matter what the weather or who we play. Celebrate semi responsibly pre and post game. Always displaying their Blue -n- White devotion. Will not leave the stadium until the last second of play has passed. Makes it a point to always walk to Porter Rd to witness the the TEAM buses. Screams as loud as we can for our team at their beckoning. Alway removes their hat during the National Anthem.......WAIT THAT'S ME.......SORRY. you may continue  with the casual fan bashing
Settle it on the field!

by PSUncle1981 on Aug 23, 2007 12:38 PM EDT reply actions  

What gets me is
I was raised a Penn State fan. I remember seeing them go 0-4 after their home loss to Michigan and I still faithfully drove the 2 1/2 hrs one way to State College knowing they were probably going to get drubbed at the next home game. Now EVERYBODY has their season tickets, and I'm scrounging up anything I can get.

I remember during the dark years I saw an old lady under the south end zone reading a book, yes a book; nothing like an autumn Saturday in Happy Valley with a nice novel...bitch.

by nittanyroar on Aug 23, 2007 6:21 PM EDT reply actions  

It worked out for you though...
The next home game after that 12-0 drubbing Meatchicken gave us was the OSU game where JoePa reached 324.

by stonewall435 on Aug 24, 2007 11:59 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hey, at least she went in to the game
In the golden olden days you needed points to get a season ticket (in the 1990s, as it was explained to me, a donation of $3,000 would get you four seats) - after the expansion/during the years that shall not be named, you could get seats with just a "minimum" donation (basically, you needed 5 points to get 4 seats).

Apparently we're back to needing points - There was a 99% renewal of season tickets, I'm guessing that only death caused folks to not invest in season tickets this year.  It's one of the best home schedules we've had in a long time - and with a team that has the potential to win.  I predict that sales will drop next year - that home schedule is ugly - but you never know - win a national championship and...

by PSUgirl on Aug 24, 2007 11:18 AM EDT reply actions  

I'm most annoyed by the
"down in front" people - there was one lady who actually pulled on my friend's shirt to get her to sit down (oh the anger).

The late great Mr. Hoover used to give the "fair weather fans" a really hard time as they would enter the stands late, and leave early.  

I know that I annoy the fans around me - they've told me so - but they've just as often joined in, so I don't let it bother me (too much).  

Since hosting my own tailgate - I've gotten kinda terrible about being on time - every game I say - we're going in early this week - but then someone shows up late, or whatever - but I get a little psychotic if I miss kickoff.  And, I'll admit that I've left games early (only did that twice during my student years - once because of a hurricane and once because of a boy - so not worth it) to "set up" when we're expecting a big crowd for post-game tailgating - feeble excuses, I know - and I apologize for my transgressions (I'm weak).

by PSUgirl on Aug 24, 2007 11:34 AM EDT reply actions  

Divisiveness
Mike, what up!  Love your work, dude. Very dedicated, thorough, and your voice rings true through your blogging.

I won't touch the sit/stand/downinfront issue today in this thread--it has its own issues.  But the term Casual Fan resonates with me big time.  It was created by sportswriters, in an attempt to help themselves feel separated in the kennoledge department from the very readers of their own work, like they needed to remind us that they had access that we don't.  Not all that dissimilar to the sentiments you posted about Charlie Weis. I live in DC, and the Post's Thomas Boswell is the king of this kind of arrogance. So the phrase Casual Fan always rubs me the wrong way.

Your use of it here is a little different (I get the satire part--it was nicely written), but not totally either.  It was nice you made a few concessions to your Casual Fan reader, but is there an assumption that they do read it, or is the intended audience only us in the know as to the starting left guard?

In any case, I get the tone of the post: mostly good-natured teasing, a little derisive, and clearly drawing a line in the sand as to certain levels of fan-ness.  That's the part I'm not down with, regardless of which side of the line I consider myself.  A hundred and ten thousand cats up there on gamedays, there's gonna be heaps of ppl doing it their own way. We don't need that line drawn; we're all looking for the same thing: total Lion domination on the field.  Anyway, sorry if this came off as melodramatic, I've just had a history with that phrase, and I just wanted to put out some more food for thought.  Like I said, I love your work; keep it up, and maybe we'll bump into each other on Porter road some Saturday.

by jtothep on Aug 28, 2007 3:20 PM EDT reply actions  

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