Location: secluded Office near Kinnick stadium, Iowa City

Time: Now

Knock at door

Come in.

Ferentz, I want to have a word with you, as you can see I brought my son and secretary with me.  We have come about the behavior of some of your fans and the website mob.

Hello

Dad, I just saw a giant eagle walking down the hall.

Ferentz, what are you doing on that god blang computer thing, is that pictures of that Illinois linebacker Lehman you have there.

Uh, well yeah, it seems some of our fans think he is great, so I was looking into recruiting him to spice up, I mean help our offense.

Well you are dumber than I thought, but that is not why I am here.  I have heard that some of your fans have made fun of me, my good friend and fly fisherman Joe Tiller, and even my own son.  But what really kills me are the pink lockers.

Um, well I can check into some of that, we here in Iowa...

Holy dog shit. Iowa? Only steers and queers come from Iowa. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down.   Now stand up because I am going to show you how I take care of kids like you back in PA.

Joe stands up

Ferentz stands up

Whoops!

Yao!

My eyes!

Holy Jesus! What is that? WHAT IS THAT, FERENTZ?   Why are your pants down around your ankles while you are sitting at your desk looking at pictures of J Lehman.

I, um, well...

That's it, Nancy call whoever we were supposed to play this weekend and cancel the game because I am bringing the team over here to teach this pansy and his team a lesson. 

Sir, we are already scheduled to play Iowa this weekend.

Excellent, come on Jay let's get out of here.  Let's give them a preview of things to come:  WE ARE!

OBAMA!

For the love of all things holy, it is Penn State, let's try again:  WE ARE!

PENN STATE!

WE ARE!

Dad, there goes that eagle again!

Oh christ, I am bringing McQueary next time.

Penn State Stats

I don't know how many of you know of these charts, so I thought I would share.  Some of the specifics that show up in these stats are that Purdue is ahead of us in passing offense.  However if you look at the numbers they lead us in total yards but we have more TDs (12-5), yards per completion (11.5-14.5), and the lowest interception percentage in the league at .7, oh yeah our QB kicks ass and doesn't have to contend with accusations regarding "his tonsil painter" (via BHGP).  Another more important stat is our rushing defense is first in B10 and 15th nationally, passing defense is second in B10, and scoring defense is third in B10.  If we can keep up our defensive trends against some of the run oriented teams we face (wis, tOSU, MSU) we have a shot at that which shall not be mentioned.

It was a great day to be in happy valley.  I am impressed with our D line play, we have some great players and seeing them in person made me feel much better about our situation there.  Crawford is a beast, and between he Odrick, Gaines, and Maybin we have a solid D line.  Seriously, Crawford and Odrick are going to give me nightmares.   The only D lineman I was unimpressed with was Lucian, he looks like too much like a guard to be an effective D lineman, and compared to the other guys (even Maybin) just looked a notch down on run defense.  We had some great linebacker play from Bowman, he is a stud.  I was not impressed with Green as an every down back, especially compared to Carter and Beachum when they got their shots.  It seems like the coaches are trying to stick him in because of his speed, but any of the other backs are better for getting extra yards after contact.  They should work to get him the ball in the open, not as an every down back. 

Here is a shot of the reason we are so good, the men up front:

Joepa was hobbling around but that didn't keep him away from Mike (does he yell at anyone else?):

The D line looked great to me:

Sean Lee did as much coaching of the D on the sideline as any of the actual coaches: