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Letter to Joe Paterno

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Dear Coach Paterno,

First off let me say this is not a call for your resignation. You have led Penn State for 40 years and done too much for the university to be thrown under the bus like that. You had a great year last year and I'm confident the program is headed back in the right direction. But I do feel you need to make some changes on the field in order to be competitive.

Please, for the love of God, stop the gimmick plays. Instruct Galen Hall to slap Jay in the head every time he asks, "Can I call one?" If Jay draws up another play and hands it to you, pat him on the head and hang it on the refrigerator. But don't you dare put it in the playbook. What other team averages 20 end arounds a game? Sure it works against Akron and Youngstown State, but how did it work against Notre Dame? Every time we send a receiver in motion it's obvious it's coming. I'm a regular schmuck sitting in the stands. I haven't seen a minute of film, but I can see it coming. And I'm sick of seeing Derrick Williams play quarterback. It isn't fooling anyone. Even the blind man's seeing eye dog can see the QB draw coming. I know I know, you're setting up a passing play for the fourth quarter. How did that work against Notre Dame? Oh yeah, it got blown up. And Anthony Morelli playing wide receiver? Please. You might as well play with ten guys on the field because nobody is going to respect that. I'm sure DWill was an ok quarterback in high school, but this is college and you're playing the best teams in the country. It's embarassing. You're making us the laughing stock of the internet.

Deon Butler, Derrick Williams, and Jordan Norwood are your three best receivers. They should be on the field all the time. I can understand playing Chris Bell and A.J. Wallace because those guys have talent. But why do you insist on rotating in Terrell Golden, James McDonald, Kevin Cousins, and Brendan Perretta? Your best three are amazing. Why sit them? I mean, come on...Brendan Perretta?

Why do I keep hearing these excuses about our guys not having any experience? Looking at the roster, a lot of the first time starters this year are juniors and seniors. If they didn't get playing time prior to this year, that's your fault. I never hear other coaches saying they have to dumb down their playbook for their new guys. The fact that Anthony Morelli didn't see at least 50 snaps in his first two years with the program is a sin. You wasted an entire year of his eligibility to have him throw Hail Mary passes his freshman year. Shame on you.

If you change nothing else, please hire someone to the staff that knows something about special teams. If I were the opposing coach, I would tell my kicker to land the ball around the ten yard line. Our blockers are so slow getting off the ball we still can't make it past the 20. Our field goal team has looked like the Keystone Cops this year. Every time we try to block a punt we run into the kicker. And why for the love of God is Anthony Scirrotto returning punts while Derrick Williams and Justin King watch from the bench? That's coaching.

Again, I think you're a great coach and a better man. I personally hope you stick around and coach forever, but please take these suggestions to heart and make the necessary changes soon.

Sincerely,
Your Friends at Black Shoe Diaries