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Brady Quinn's Long Day

The following is a diary of messages left on Brady Quinn's cell phone during the first round of the NFL draft.

11:55 AM - Voicemail from Agent Tom Condon

"This is it, Brady Baby. Are you ready to be a f**king millionaire? We're both going to get rich real soon. I haven't heard anything from the Raiders, but they would be crazy not to take you with the first pick. I gotta run. I'll call you in twenty. Love you, man."

12:25 PM - Voicemail from Agent Tom Condon

"Brady. Don't sweat it, babe. Al Davis is a f**king loon. You didn't want to play for them anyway. Remember Todd Marinovich? Screw them. You're a lock to go to Cleveland in the #3 pick now. That's still a sh**load of cash, baby!"

12:27 PM - Text Message from JaMarcus Russell

"I pwned u in da sugar. Now i got ur cash. O yeah, I had ur gf last nite 2. LOL"

12:29 PM - Voicemail from Cleveland Browns General Manager Phil Savage

"Brady. Don't worry, buddy. We won't let you slip past the third pick. Sit tight."

12:40 PM - Voicemail from Savage

"Holy s**t Millen is an idiot. Change of plans, guy. We're going with Joe Thomas now. It's just business, chief. Best of luck to you."

12:50 PM - Voicemail from Condon

"Wow, dude. What the hell is going on here? You're costing me a lot of mon...I mean, it's ok. I'm hearing rumors the Dolphins are going to trade up to get you. No way you last until #9. I'm warming up my limo for you. Pick you up in an hour."

1:30 PM - Voicemail from Dolphins Head Coach Cam Cameron

"Brady, got your voicemail. We're going with Tedd Ginn Jr. Have you seen that guy? He runs THREE ROUTES! THREE!"

2:00 PM - Voicemail from Condon

"Hey man. You might want to go get a sandwich or something. I suggest the corned beef. Nothing too expensive."

2:15 PM - Text Message from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell

"Asian hooker and bottle of JD in my dressing room. Help ur self"

2:30 PM - Voicemail from Charlie Weis

"What the f**k are you doing? G*d Dammit! You're killing my recruiting not to mention my "genius" status! Claussen is talking about transferring to USC. South Bend is sounding the fallout alarm. Can you hear that? Looks like I have to make some phone calls and bail your butt out one more time. I'll call some of my NFL contacts and feed them a line of s**t about you being two years ahead of where Tom Brady was coming out of college. I don't know how many more times I can play the Tom Brady card though. Everything is ruined. All because of you. Who told you to wear that suit?"

3:00 PM - Text Message from JaMarcus Russell


3:30 PM - Brady calls agent Tom Condon

"If you would like to leave a message (click)"

3:43 PM - Message from Cowbowys Owner Jerry Jones

"Listen Son. Even though I don't see why, I'm getting some calls from teams that might be interested in you. The best deal is from the Browns, who are offering their first round pick next year. What I want to know is, do you suck as bad as I think you do? I mean, I could be sitting on a top five pick here."

4:00 PM - Voicemail from Browns GM Savage

"Brady. Buddy. Really sorry about that whole Joe Thomas thing. No hard feelings?"