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Five Questions for Joe Paterno

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I know for a fact that several local newspaper writers and editors like to stop in here at BSD on a daily basis to see what I have to say and gauge the sentiment of the fan base. So with that, I have five questions for you yellow bellied bastards to ask Joe Paterno in his weekly press conference on Tuesday afternoon.

  1. Appalachian State and Oregon defeated Michigan by spreading them out with the spread option and attacking the middle of the field in the passing game. After seeing this, why wasn't this strategy employed on Saturday with Daryll Clark?
  2. Does Anthony Morelli have the authority to change the play at the line of scrimmage or is he told to run the play that's called even if the defense is perfectly set up to stop it?
  3. Why exactly is Chris Bell not getting a chance to play? If you say he pouts too much about playing time, is it reasonable to assume that giving him more playing time may correct this problem?
  4. To say the offense has trouble scoring on the road is an understatement. At what point does the coaching staff step back and evaluate their offensive philosophy?
  5. What coaching mistakes were made this week? And exactly what changes are being implimented immediately to correct those mistakes?
I swear to God any reporter who asks Joe about retirement or Pitt will be hunted down and publicly shamed.