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Sealing The Deal

Head coach Joe Paterno, defensive coordinator Tom Bradley, and quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno walk into Terrelle Pryor's living room.

Bradley: Terrelle, how's it going, buddy?

Pryor: Hey coach Bradley. Good, good...

Bradley: Great. I'm glad to hear it. Grades ok?

Pryor: Yeah, coach.

Bradley: Good. How's your family doing?

Pryor: Ok...y'know...

Bradley: Good, good. Well, hey, you know why we're here. We want you to come to Penn State, and we mean business. And just to show you how much you mean to us, I brought the big guy with me. None other than the living legend himself, Joe Paterno.

Joe: Hello. What? Hi son. What's your name again?

Pryor: Terrelle, sir.

Jay: Dad, can I show him now? (Jay is clutching his bulky briefcase)

Joe: Not now, Jay. Dad is talking. And I remember we talked about you calling me Dad when we're at work.

Now Tyrone...

Pryor: Terrelle, sir.

Joe: Right. Terrelle. Listen. I didn't want to come down here today. I'll be honest with you. I'm not trying to be a smart Alec here. I hate traveling anymore. I would rather give another one of those boring press conferences where I don't really answer any questions than get on an airplane. Between you and me, that's why Penn State has to schedule eight home games these days. If I had my way we'd play all our games at home. But the Big Ten says we have to go play in other stadiums four times a year. So what am I going to do? They don't ask me anymore. Maybe it comes across my desk or someone asks me what do you think about this or that. But do you really understand how these things work?

Bradley: Joe.

Joe: Heh? Oh. Like I said, I didn't want to come down here today. But Tom told me you're special. He said he hasn't seen a player like you come out of high school since Michael Robinson.

Pryor: Thank you, sir.

Jay: Dad...sorry...Coach, can I show him now?

Joe: Not yet, Jay. Just wait.

Now Tyler, I took the time to watch some film on you. I have a lot of time to watch film these days. I don't go into the office anymore you know. Everything there is "Joe, we need you to call this recruit." and "Joe, what do you think of the game plan?" or "Joe, Curley is coming so put the whiskey away." Besides, the commute is crazy anymore. People don't know how to drive. Sometimes I have to get out of my car at the stop sign and set them straight. Then the next thing you know the lady's husband is getting in my face and he's all "Hey man that's my wife," and I'm like "Well that's your problem."

Bradley: Joe.

Joe: So anyway, I work out of the house now. Sue tries to keep the grandkids occupied, but it's hard. All day long it's "Grandpa, would you play checkers with us?" or "Grandpa, do you have time to say hi to my friend?" or "How come Grandpa spends so much time in the bathroom?" So I lock myself in my study most days. I watch old videos from 1982 and 1986 mostly. Those were the glory days. But you can only take so much of that. So one day I decided to pop in your tape that Tom gave me. And let me tell you I haven't seen a high school kid with moves like yours since Lydell Mitchell back in '68. So even though I hate to travel and generally don't visit high school kids in person anymore I decided risk waking up with a stiff leg tomorrow to come down here in person and tell you I want you to come play for me at Penn State.

Pryor: Uh, thanks coach.

Jay: Hey Dad...

Joe: What, Jay?

Jay: Can I show him now?

Joe: All right, Jay. Go ahead and set it up.

Jay: YES!

Bradley: Jay here has brought a little demonstration for you just to show you how we intend to build our entire offense around you and your skills as a ball carrier. Go ahead, Jay.

Jay: Thanks, Tom. At Penn State we use state of the art technology to teach the playbook and train quarterbacks. It's highly innovative and fun at the same time. I've taken hundreds of hours to load our entire playbook onto this memory doohickey thing so we can run any play we want to on the Playstation 2.

Pryor: Playstation 2? You call that state of the art? Coach Tress...I mean, Uncle Jim gave me a Playstation 3 for my birthday last year.

Jay: Really? Awesome! What games do you have?

Pryor: Well I'm mostly playing Madden right now.


Pryor: It's a'ight.

Joe: Cool. Wanna play me?

Bradley: Jay, can we stick with the presentation?

Joe: Yeah, Jay. Your mother is cooking up some sauce for dinner so we can't stay too long. Hey Terrelle, where's your bathroom?

(Terrelle points down the hallway.)

Jay: Ok. Let's play some NCAA football. I'll be Penn State. Who do you want to be?

Pryor: I like Ohio State.

Jay: Oh yeah. Rivalry game, bitches.

Bradley: Uh, Jay, why don't you let Terrelle be Penn State?

Jay: No I want to be Penn State.

Pryor: Nah, it's cool coach Bradley.

Bradley: No really. I think Terrelle should be Penn State.

Jay: But I'm always Penn State.

Bradley: Jay...I really think Terrelle should be Penn State.

Jay: Oh man. How about we both be Penn State?

Bradley: That's fine.

Jay: Ok, but I'm blue and you're white.

Bradley: Fine. Let's go.

Jay: Great. Give me a minute to set this up.

(Joe returns from the bathroom)

Joe: While he's doing that, let me tell you about what Penn State can offer you academically, Tim.

Pryor: Terrelle.

Joe: Right. When you come to Penn State you will be more than just a football player. You will be a student athlete. I had a vision decades ago that it was possible for a football team to be successful in the classroom as much as on the field of play. It was so revolutionary at the time they called it The Grand Experiment.

Jay, what are you doing there?

Jay: I'm simulating the season.

Bradley: Why are you doing that?

Jay: Well, I figure if Terrelle comes to play for us he won't see any playing time until after Devlin graduates. So I'm simulating his first few years so we can skip ahead to 2011, his junior year if he redshirts.

Pryor: I ain't plannin' on redshirting, coach.

Bradley: Of course not, Terrelle. Jay's just goofing around with you. C'mon, Jay. Start the game.

Jay: Ok ok. I took the liberty of creating a player that resembles your skill in the game. You can see your speed and athleticism are both 99's, but I had to ding you on strength cuz let's face it, dude, you could use some time in the gym.

Pryor: Huh?

Jay: Yeah, and I put your awareness at a 45 for now. But don't feel bad. After working with me for a few years we'll have that right up to a 55 just like Morelli.

(Jay wins the coin toss and elects to receive the ball. The first play call is a wide receiver screen to Derrick Williams for two yards.)

Jay: Dang. Usually that play gets me at least five yards.

(On second and eight Jay throws a three yard out pattern to Deon Butler.)

Jay: Oh yeah. That was a good one. Big third down play here.

(On third down and five Jay throws a four yard wide receiver screen to Jordan Norwood.)

Jay: Dang! I think this controller isn't working right. If he breaks that tackle he gets at least seven yards.

(Jay punts to Terrelle. On the first play Terrelle calls an option play to the left side. He pitches the ball to Evan Royster who runs it 60 yards for a touchdown.)

Jay: SHIT! (Jay stands up and throws his controller at the television)

Pryor: Hey man! Don't be bustin' my TV!

Bradley: Jay knock it off!

Jay: Sorry, sorry.  Give me the fuckin' ball back.

(Jay takes the kickoff and runs it back to the 20. On his first offensive play he calls a five yard out pattern to Butler that falls incomplete.)

Jay: Man, Terrelle, you suck as a quarterback.

Bradley: JAY! Why don't you show Terrelle how we intend to use him in the running game.

Jay: I can't do that.

Joe: Why not?

Jay: Galen isn't here.

Bradley: What does that have to do anything?

Jay: Galen calls the running plays. I call the passing plays. Remember?

Pryor: You kiddin' me, right?

Bradley: Jay, c'mon.

Jay: I'm serious. I don't know any running plays.

Pryor: You know what coach, I don't feel like playin' no more.

Jay: If you quit I win.

Pryor: Whatever.

Bradley: You know what, maybe we better get going.

Joe: So Terrelle, I trust I'll be seeing your letter coming across my fax machine next week.

Pryor: We'll see coach. I don't know what I'm going to do yet.