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Sloppy Joe, Attentive Wingman

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Penn State and LSU don't have much in the way of a common history.  Their last meeting was the '74 Orange Bowl, won 16-9 by the Nittany Lions.  Naturally, Joe Paterno was there. (Our records indicate it was his 38th year as PSU's head coach).  He provides us with his recollection of the game:

"In case some of you younger guys don't remember, because you are all a bunch of babies compared to what I am, but we did play LSU in a bowl game down in Florida years and years ago," 82-year-old Penn State coach Joe Paterno said this week. "And it was one hell of a football game, and we had a great time."

Hell yeah, we had a great time.  Beautiful city, beautiful ladies.  You know this.  Paterno also has fond memories of former LSU coach Charles McClendon, and athletic director Paul Dietzel:

Paterno said he was friends with McClendon, who died in 2001, and remains friends with former coach and athletic director Paul Dietzel, who is two years older than Paterno.

"Paul and I were both assistant coaches at the same time (in the early 1950s), and when we would go to conventions I used to hang around with him because he was such a good-looking guy," Paterno said laughing. "I was such an ugly guy, and I used to get his leftovers."

Wait, what?  No, no.  I've seen "Jersey Shore".  Smooth-talking Italians are known lady-killers.  Come on, Joe!  You're almost 83 years old, you're allowed to show a little swagger.  But hey, women are complicated.  Perhaps he just needs a little encouragement.  If only we knew someone who was an expert on the subject...



What would the J.O.E.P.A. system look like?