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Your Week Three Totally Serious Football Odds

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Apologies for your TSFO coming later than usual this Thursday. As with the previous two segments, myself and my fellow BSD colleagues have a fresh batch of odds just waiting to melt in your mouth. Banter away, folks.

 

  • Odds that the cracks forming in Brian Kelly's skull from complete and utter rage the past two weeks will finally burst, revealing that he is in fact Bo Pelini's twin brother (4:3)
  • Odds that Dan Mullen blames Mississippi State's upcoming loss to LSU on headset interference caused by Les Miles' gas, which can knock out radio signals due to his diet of grass clippings, tin foil and salt water taffy. (7:2)
  • Odds that UConn officials discover they hired an ersatz Paul Pasqualoni after the Huskies are drubbed at home by Iowa State. (OFF THE BOARD)
  • Odds Lou Holtz still thinks Notre Dame has a shot at the National Title this season. (4:1)
  • Odds that Syracuse coach Doug Marrone reports Lane Kiffin to EA Sports for "being such a goddamn cheeser" when USC attempts a 2-point conversion after every TD. (10:1)
  • Number of times the words MAKE PLAYS and PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER will be tweeted throughout Notre Dame vs. Michigan State: (O/U: 378.5)
  • Number of times NBC announcer Tom Hammond will make you feel legitimately uncomfortable while watching the Sparty/Notre Dame game. (O/U 5.5)
  • Odds you'll want to throw Craig James through a plate glass window during the Thursday night ESPN game after he makes a point about leadership. (1:1) #rememberthefive
  • Odds that Al Golden will commit hara-kiri if Temple upsets Penn State this weekend. (ERROR DIVIDE BY ZERO)