The past week or so in Penn State sports was really, really boring. With finals being taken across campus and the subsequent winter break, there wasn't that much going on from the sports end of things.
With that in mind, here is the weekly roundup of the less-heralded Penn State sports.
Women's Basketball --
- The women's basketball team had a much bigger test against South Dakota State than anyone could have anticipated, but dropped the Jackrabbits by a score of 60-50.
- The biggest surprise in the game (other than the fact that PSU failed to score 70 points and get free McNuggets for everyone in attendance) is that Maggie Lucas only scored nine points on 2 of 12 shooting. Despite this, Maggie Lucas is still better at basketball than you are.
- Despite a subpar performance from Lucas, Alex Bentley (13 points, 9 rebounds, 5 assists) and Nikki Greene (17 points, 6 boards) put da team on dey back, doe.
- In their next game, the Lady Lions nuked NJIT 82-37.
- Player A put up 13 points, 7 rebounds and 2 assists in the first half. Player B had 9 points, 14 rebounds and 1 assist in the first half. Wanna guess who each player is? (waiting......................) Player A was Maggie Lucas. Player B was the entire NJIT team. So just in case you've forgotten in the last minute or so, Maggie Lucas is better at basketball than you are, ESPECIALLY if you play for NJIT.
- According to the two major polls (AP and USA Today), the 10-2 Lady Lions are the 10th best team in the country. Which is WAY better than the guy's team is doing in the Ken Pomeroy Poll.
Men's Hockey --
- Because the NHL is still locked out (LULZ @ U HOCKEY FANZ), the biggest hockey news on campus was Penn State's 3-2 loss to Robert Morris. *insert horrible joke about how good that Robert Morris fella is if he beat the Nits all by himself*
- The loss knocked the Nittany Lions to 7-8-0 so far this season. By comparison, the Philadelphia Flyers are winless, which means the Nittany Lions have more wins than at least one NHL team. So that's nice.
- Goalie Matthew Skoff has a .926 save percentage and is allowing 2.32 goals per contest. Those numbers are better than that of Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury, who last year had a GAA of 2.36 and a SV% of .913. Eat it, Pittsburgh fans.
Track and Field --
- Track didn't officially have a meet, but they did have their annual Blue and White Intrasquad Meet. To the best of my knowledge, it's like when your old high school JV team would scrimmage the varsity team, only there wasn't that one doucher on varsity who felt the need to try his hardest. Jackass.
- Since it was an intrasquad meet, Penn State won. Woohoo! (yes, this means they lost too, you turd) The girls' blue team beat the girls' white team 68-61, and the guys' blue team beat the guys' white team 69-58.
- Unfortunately, there were a bunch of weird distances in the meet (60 meters, 300 meters, 1200 meters, etc), so I have to scrap every single f'ing Usain Bolt and Mo Farah joke that I had. Son of a bitch. But people on both teams ran faster than anyone at BSD can.
- On the field side of things, people threw stuff further than I could have and jumped higher/farther than I can. BUT can those people say they won 10 amusement park games in one trip to Dorney Park? No? SCOREBOARD: Bill 1, Track and Field Athletes 0.
The Week Ahead --
- The hockey team plays Robert Morris on the 28th in Pittsburgh at the CONSOL Energy Center in the inaugural Three Rivers Classic. They will then play in the championship or consolation game the next day against either Miami University (the one in Ohio, not the real one) or Ohio F'ing State. I think I speak for everyone when I say all that matters is doing better than the Bucking Fuckeyes.
- Also, one quick BSD announcement: if you'd like to help us out, we're looking for someone to create an image/icon to use for these weekly roundups. Please contact Jeff if you have some graphic design skills and would like to help. Bonus points if you manage to get this picture of Sasa Borovnjak in a santa hat in there somewhere.
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