[/sends royalty check to Black Heart Gold Pants.]
April 20, 2012, 5:00 p.m., Lasch Football Complex, University Park, Pennsylvania. On the eve of the Blue-White Game, Penn State Head Coach Bill O'Brien surveys his new kingdom -- the sprawling football facility set in front of the sun-drenched, rolling mountains of central Pennsylvania. The chirps of birds intertwined with the chirps of coaching whistles. The wafting, organic scent of cow manur--THUD--OWWWWWWW.
TWEEEEEEEEET TWEEEEEEEEET TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.
Charlie, what the hell?
Goddamnit. Okay, where did Paterno used to hide the bodies around here?
Damn it, Rob. What did I tell you about throwing at Coach Hixon's head when he wasn't looking?
So why the hell did you --
Charlie, what play was that?
Why was Stan in the middle of the field during a drill?
Tuesday morning, 6 a.m., coaches' meeting room.
Nobody can know about this, Charlie. It'll kill morale if the team discovers we were working out new quarterbacks in secret.
About that, Bill. You know Danny O'Brien decided to play for Wisconsin. We all love Sunshine McGregor, but everyone knows he's not the answer. We're stuck with what we have unless you can come up with another idea, and NCAA regulations don't really allow a lot of flexibility. Besides, a new quarterback won't have the benefit of spring practice.
Relax. Where we're going, we don't need practice. SEND IN THE FIRST QUARTERBACK!