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BREAKING: Tom Brands Now Potty Trained

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Hawkeyes Wrestling Coach Tom Brands conquers the porcelain goddess, and is now fully house broken, according to a University of Iowa press release.

Brands Conquers Potty Training
Brands Conquers Potty Training
Galen

After arriving back in Iowa City Saturday night from a dual meet victory at Minnesota, Tom Brands and his team of personal psychiatrists drove to his home on the west side of town and headed for the bathroom. With some encouragement, the psychiatrists convinced Brands to drop his pants and diaper, climb onto the big boy seat, and see if number 2 would come out.

After a few tense minutes, the gang heard an audible plop. Cheers, hugs, and high fives - after a quick reminder to wipe his hiney-butt - were shared between Brands and his shrinks before they high-tailed it out of the stink chamber.

"So much effort. So much fiber. So much dedication and intensity on Tom's part, to finally overcome this life hurdle. I couldn't be more proud," said child pyschologist Cindy Franklin.

"I'm a big boy now! I'm a big boy now!", Brands exclaimed in jubilation. One of his team of head shrinkers used his camera phone to capture Brands dance of joy, and the new found freedom Brands felt in his waist area without the diaper he had worn all his life.

"We want to congratulate Coach Brands on his achievement," said Iowa Athletic Director Gary Barta, himself a recovering meth addict. "And we hope that Terry sees what Tom's done, and takes it as a challenge to accomplish the same feat for himself."


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