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Success With Hyperlinking Is Rocking Till Its Nuts Hurt

Penn State finally has its own version of the 'Redneck Rocker' and other hot sports links. (h/t to Dan Vecelio for the title suggestion)

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Heeding the Marlin Show's advice, Bill O'Brien took a good look at himself in the mirror and then proceeded to yell a bunch of F-bombs at it.
Heeding the Marlin Show's advice, Bill O'Brien took a good look at himself in the mirror and then proceeded to yell a bunch of F-bombs at it.
Pat Lovell-USA TODAY Sports

Sorry to disappoint those of you who saw the title and thought this edition of SwH would be chock full of 80's metal references. It's actually a reference to the video above, which is part of a recurring YouTube series produced by some guy named Marlin Groce, aka 'The Sports Wizzard,' who dishes out piping hot sports takes, fresh from the comfort of his own Nirvana/Darth Vader-adorned bedroom. It's also highly likely that the part where his mom walks in to drop a plate of Hot Pockets on his desk was carefully edited out.

And boy, is Marlin PISSED. OFF. He essentially stops short of challenging someone on the team to a 'prison-style' fight (a la the Ohio State 'Redneck Rocker'), but I sure hope Bill O'Brien heeded the man's advice and took a good hard look at himself this week.

Speaking of hot sports takes....

File This One Under The "No Sh*t" Category

Cory Giger writes that BOB should not shy away from feeding Zach Zwinak the rock, no matter how difficult it was for him to rack up yardage. In other ground-breaking analysis: You shouldn't try to hold it in when you wake up in the middle of the night with the strong urge to pee, no matter how comfortable your bed is.

Like a Reverse 'Bad Luck Brian'

Penn State's athletic department screws up its student ticket allotment...raises $55,000 for THON.

Some Feel-Good Wrasslin' News

To nobody's surprise: The three-time defending national champion Penn State wrestling team is #1 in the preseason poll. I will defer any further analysis about the Fightin' Caels to the folks at BSD who actually know something about the sport.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong (Gus Johnson Edition)

A white high school student in Sandusky, Ohio was recently reprimanded and subsequently received death threats over social media after he referenced Gus Johnson's infamous "He's got getting away from the cops speed!" call to describe a touchdown run by a black player. This is certainly not what anybody had in mind with regards to the 'Gus Factor.'

Other Non-Sportsy Stuff:

  • Sorry Pandora loyalists, but Apple is coming to your town, drinking all of your alcohol, and sleeping with all of your women. (via The Motley Fool)
  • A Canadian family, realizing their crippling addiction to all things modern technology, decide to try a one-year experiment where they grow mullets and live like its 1986, even if that means listening to Bon Jovi on cassette tape. (via Youtube)
  • If you only want to continue to think happy thoughts when you picture Elmo, then don't click this link.

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