Big Ten Preview: Week Seven

Please don't hurt me, guys.

To the games!

Saturday, October 12

Indiana @ Michigan State, noon

These teams are polar opposites: Spart wants the game to be slow, run the ball, and grind out a 13-6 win. Indiana wants to play at a million miles an hour, throw the ball, and beat you 44-24, causing outrage and the phrase "A JOE PATERNO COACHED TEAM WOULD NEVER LOSE TO INDIANA" as I vomit everywhere uncontrollably.

I want to pick Indiana to lose in the worst way for obvious reasons, but after watching them dismantle Penn State last week, I can't. I hate myself.

Prediction: Indiana 35, Michigan State 17

Watchability: Don't do this to yourself.

Nebraska @ Purdue, noon

Nebraska is amazing. They keep dropping in the polls despite winning. They've even won convincingly in the last two weeks! Ameer Abdullah is finally rounding into form, which he showed last week when he made The Fightin' Beckmans his bee-otch.

Speaking of bee-otches, Purdue! They're the Big Ten whipping boys this season. Darrell Hazell seems like a good coach, but my God, there are people on the BSD masthead who would be upgrades at certain positions on that team (#bscaff4purdue). There's a chance that they go winless. I'm serious. Here's a list of things Purdue is good at: 1) Losing. 2) That's it.

Prediction: Nebraska 44, Purdue 10

Watchability: We Are! 2013 Tailgate

#19 Northwestern @ Wisconsin, 3:30 p.m.

ALL THE RUSHING YARDS. This is my favorite running back matchup of the year: Venric Mark/Treyvon Green/whatever the hell Kain Coulter is against Melvin Gordon/James White/Corey Clement. Northwestern is going to come out pissed after last week's heartbreaker to Ohio State, but Wisconsin had a bye week to watch what the Wildcats did well, what they did poorly, and how they can exploit it.

I fully anticipate this game to be excellent, which makes it especially sad that I'm going to be face down, ass up in a ditch from the tailgate. In the end, I think Wisconsin's running backs, home-field advantage, and sneaky solid defense get the job done. I just can't imagine the Badgers losing two games in a row. Conversely, I absolutely can see Northwestern losing two games in a row. And yes, I know I picked NW to only lose one Big Ten game this year. Sue me.

Prediction: Wisconsin 38, Northwestern 31

Watchability: CONSUME. CONSUME IT ALL.

#18 Michigan @ Penn State, 5:00 p.m.

Please don't hurt me.

Prediction: Michigan 34, Penn State 21

Watchability: This isn't a reverse jinx. I swear. I hate myself.

I'll see you guys at the tailgate. Go State, prove me wrong. Enjoy the games, everyone.

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