Pickin' Nits is Still Grinning Like an Idiot

I haven't stopped smiling since Saturday night. Good Lord, this is an amazing feeling. My freshman year featured a White House win over Michigan. My senior year will feature a White House win over Michigan. The symmetry is fantastic. Especially because it's Michigan. F*** that school.

This week's piece will be set to Clark Gable by The Postal Service. LET'S SPORT.

Women's Soccer

• It hasn't been a good week (or so) for the fifth ranked women's soccer team. They played three matches, winning one and losing two.
• The win came against Wisconsin in Madison. Penn State took a 2-0 lead into the half behind goals from Maya Hayes and Tani Costa. Wisconsin scored in the second half, but it wasn't enough, as Penn State won, 2-1.
• The two losses were both 1-0 losses at Minnesota and home against Michigan. I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: Four matches, home against Ohio State and Illinois on the 17th and 20th, then on the road against Iowa and NEBRASKETSOCCER on the 25th and 27th.

Men's Soccer

• The men's soccer team is 15th in the country. I dig it. Even if they did lost to St. Francis, 1-0, in double OT since we last left. That sucked. But other than that, it's been a pretty dope week (or so).
• The team picked up a 2-0 win in Bloomington against defending national champion Indiana, which is awesome, even if Indiana is in a down year. The team then defeated Michigan on Homecoming Eve, 3-1, at home. I went. It was magical.
• In other soccer news, #YoureWelcomeMexico.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: AT Sparty, HOME against Northwestern, AT UPenn. The game against Michigan State could decide the Big Ten title. Like Ron Burgundy, it's kind of a big deal.

Field Hockey

• Did you know field hockey is the #3 team in the country? Seriously! The team has ripped off nine straight wins after a three game losing streak in the beginning of the season. Like Hansel, they're so hot right now.
• In that winning streak were the team's three wins since you last "read" Pickin' Nits, two at home against just Northwestern and Ohio State, and one on the road at Bucknell. The team won by an aggregate of 10-1 (2-0, 6-1, and 2-0, respectively), and in its winning streak, it has an aggregate score of 31-5. Shout out to goalie Kylie Licata. She's been playing out of her mind.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: The team wraps up its season on Saturday against Sparty, then travels to Iowa City to take on Iowa and UC Davis on the 25th and 26th. Just beat Iowa. All I ask for.

Cross Country

• XC ran and ran and ran and had a pretty solid showing at the Paul Short Run in Bethlehem. The women's team came in 9th, the men's team came in 10th. The top finishers for each team were Leigha Anderson and Matt Fischer. I'll let you guess which gender each person belongs to.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: The Penn State National in Happy Valley on October 18. Can you attend XC meets? Asking for a friend.

Golf

• The lady golfers golfed, but I can't find the results for the Pirate Intercollegiate anywhere. But hey, at least they had a better week than Rory McIlroy. So...that's something? Speaking of pirates, I went to a Turquoise Jeep concert. It was...it was something.
• The man golfers also golfed, coming in 13th out of 14 squads at the Bank of Tennessee Intercollegiate in Johnson City, Tennessee. The team shot +47 over (the winning squad, UVA, shot -22), and our top golfer was JD Dornes, who shot a +4 (the top golfer, whose name doesn't matter since he doesn't go to Penn State, shot a -13). Also, one of our golfers shot +40. He came in second to last. WOOF.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: Both teams finish up their fall schedules -- the guys go to Beallsville, Maryland for the Georgetown Intercollegiate, while the gals go to Bloomington for the Hoosier Fall Invitational. Go golf. I suppose.

Tennis

• Women's tennis had the Yale Invitational. Carmen Sandor won the singles competition. Her and Samantha Tutelman were runners-up in the doubles competition. Basically, Carmen Sandor is the best athlete on campus that nobody pays any attention to.
• Men's tennis had the Wake Forest Invitational. Big week for tennis teams going to really white schools, you guys. Anways, Matt Barry and Roman Trkulja won the doubles draw. In much more important Penn State tennis news, Roman Trkulja has my favorite name in all of Penn State athletics.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: Both squads will take place in the ITA Atlantic Regional. The men will have their regional in Blacksburg, Virginia, while the women's side will have its regional in Charlottesville, Virginia. Ideally, the Va Tech men's tennis team ALSO comes out to Enter Sandman. I'm pessimistic, though.

Women's Volleyball

• Women's volleyball is the #2 team in the country. Women's volleyball is a group of heartless assassins hell bent on taking over the sports world, one Micha Hancock serve at a time.
• The team has had four matches in the last week (or so). They won all of them. They're women's volleyball. Of course they did.
• In chronological order: @ Indiana, 3-0 (25-18, 25-19, 25-8). @ Purdue, 3-2 (16-25, 25-21, 25-16, 22-25, 15-11). Minnesota, 3-2 (25-19, 23-25, 25-21, 22-25, 15-11). Wisconsin, 3-0 (25-22, 25-16, 25-21). Domination, and lots of it.
• In volleyball crazy stat news, Katie Slay has 1.58 blocks per set, the third most in America. I stood next to her the other day. I barely made it halfway up her neck. I'm 6'0.5" in my Jordans. She is tall. She is so very tall.
• The Week (Or So) Ahead: The team will continue their pillaging of the Big Ten with two road games: on Friday at Illinois and on Sunday at jNW. The team then returns home to take on Ohio State on the 23rd and Iowa on the 26th. I hate three of those four schools. Beat them all, plz.

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