Big Ten Preview: Week Ten

Oh my God, you guys. It's finally happening. Tim Beckman has to face the crowd in Happy Valley for the first time since he actively tried to recruit our players after the sanctions. Oh my God. I can barely contain myself. My foot is twitching. I'm shaking. My blood is boiling. I'll let CM Punk sum up how I feel:

TIME TO DIE, BECKMAN. TO THE GAMES!

Saturday, November 2

Illinois @ Penn State, noon

Illinois isn't bad this year, and I think their offense gives Penn State's defense trouble. But come on. Bill O'Brien has been planning for this game for more than a year. Some diabolical shit is about to go down. Tim Beckman likes Nickelback.

Prediction: PSU 40, Illinois 28

Watchability: BECKMAN TEARS BECKMAN TEARS BECKMAN TEARS BECKMAN TEARS BECKMAN TEARS BECKMAN TEARS BECKMAN TEARS.

#24 Wisconsin @ Iowa, noon

I was impressed by Iowa last week. And by that, I mean "holy shit did you see how hideous that Iowa/Northwestern game was last week?" Both teams actively tried to lose, and because Northwestern is just Northwestern, Iowa "came out on top." This week, they host Wisconsin. I may sound like a bit of a contrarian doucher because of this, but I think Iowa does a nice job keeping Wisconsin's running game in check. However, I expect Joel Stave to have a nice game, and I expect everyone on Iowa to have an ugly game, because Iowa.

Prediction: Wisconsin 42, Iowa 13

Watchability: Watching paint dry.

#4 Ohio State @ Purdue, noon

I'm not wasting my time or yours.

Prediction: Ohio State 6,392, Purdue 0

Watchability: Don't do this to yourself.

Minnesota @ Indiana, 3:30 p.m.

I actually really like this game. I think both squads are nice, and both have the potential to not get to the Big Ten Title game despite putting forth a valiant effort in conference play. I love what Minnesota has done with Philip Nelson and Mitch Leidner, pulling off a semi-successful dual QB system. As for Indiana, I love that they play like a team full of people on speed listening to death medal. GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO.

I think I like Indiana in this game, although I'm not sure. The Hoosiers have been throttled in their last two games -- both on the road -- and I feel like some home cooking will help them out. If Minnesota wins this, my God. They'd be 7-2 on the season and maybe the best story in college football. I'm pessimistic that happens.

Prediction: Indiana 45, Minnesota 38

Watchability: Check this one out.

Northwestern @ Nebraska, 3:30 p.m.

This game is hilarious. There aren't many teams that have underperformed as badly as these two. This is the 2013 Russell Athletic Incompetence Bowl. Let's look at what's on the line for both teams:

• jNW: A loss would be their fifth in a row after being the darlings of the Big Ten and the #16 team in America. A loss probably wouldn't get Pat Fitzgerald fired, but I think it would warm his hot seat up a little bit.
• Nebraska: Bo Pelini's seat is hotter than a Gregg Doyel take right now, and every loss is one step closer to a Bo-less 2014 in Lincoln. Also, the remaining schedule is @ Michigan, vs. Sparty, @ Penn State, vs. Iowa. They may lose out. They need a win here.

I'll begrudgingly take Nebraska. I think they're better than Northwestern, and when you add in the home crowd and the whole "Bo's on the verge of getting fired" thing, I wouldn't be surprised if we see a motivated Huskers squad. Poor Northwestern. Let Penn State's fans pump you up.

Prediction: Nebraska 27, jNW 20

Watchability: Check this one out, too.

#21 Michigan @ #22 Michigan State, 3:30 p.m.

Jesus, three really good 3:30 games are on the schedule this week. Good thing I have my wonderful dual television system in my living room to watch them all, amirite?

As for the game, I hate the matchup for both sides. Sparty will prevent Michigan from running, while Michigan will prevent Sparty from doing whatever football abortion they decide to do on offense this week. This is also a rivalry game, so I expect both sides to come out with a little extra fire. Especially Sparty. Their real rival Penn State isnhahahahaha ok I couldn't finish that sentence, I'm sorry.

I think Devin Gardner goes off this week. He needs a marquee performance, and what better time to get it than this week against a rival? He and Sparty's Connor Cook trade blows all day, but in the end, I think Gardner's big play ability with his arm or legs is the difference maker. God, this game should be fun.

Prediction: Michigan 24, Sparty 20

Watchability: Watch all 3:30 p.m. B1G games this week, ok?

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