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With every dull screech uttered by Beth Mowins on ESPN2, all of us at home wondered, "will the wind be strong enough to blow her out of the press box, so that we might earn a brief reprieve?" Nope. We weren't getting off that easy. She and her partner Joey Galloway - who twice diagrammed Minnesota RB David Cobb "expertly picking up the blitz", as Cobb bumped into Penn State defensive tackle Austin Johnson - resolved to complete the torture they started one week ago in Happy Valley.
Penn State played like willing accomplices. The defense allowed Minnesota to score on all four Gopher first half possessions, including three touchdowns. Penn State's offense, meanwhile, managed the following result on its second half possessions: punt, punt, turnover on downs, turnover on downs, fumble.
We can't be shocked at this point in the season. We've known the defense was sub-par since week 3's loss to UCF. And week by week, the offense slides back closer to its natural equilibrium (i.e., we're not scoring touchdowns in the red zone at a 91% clip anymore). You want my advice for the last three games? Start drinking heavily.
Never thought I'd be this eager to play Purdue.
Three Completely Unrelated, Probably Useless Thoughts
1) Immediately following the game I thought of Tennyson's "The Charge of the Light Brigade".
'Forward the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismayed?
[blah blah blah]
Into the Valley of Gophers rode the six[ty-one].
Or, sixty. Whatever. This thought, though, was cut short when I got distracted by some shiny tin foil, because that's how simple minded I can be.
2) BOB's reaching deep into his bag of tricks to try to keep this team motivated, including dressing in a Lion suit for practice on Halloween. He's trying to have fun. He's holding players accountable. He's screaming at refs and stomping up and down the sidelines. But from my seat on the couch, it looks like much of the mean and nasty left this team in the first quarter of the Ohio State game, and hasn't yet returned.
3) Congratulations to the Gophers, and to Jerry Kill. There are a ton of despicable football coaches out there, and very few likable ones. Kill and his buddy Tracey Claeys appear to be two of the good guys, and I hope their success continues.
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