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Pickin' Nits Submits Its Cover Vote

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Everyone else got their We Are! 2013 athletes wrong. Bill's here to make it right. Also, baseball poetry.


As BSD's resident small sports guy/punching bag/napping expert, I decided to let the more established folks be the ones who decide on the cover for We Are! 2013 (also, give us your monies). I figured it would be much easier to throw my support behind someone in my weekly roundup.

With that in mind, I think that while everyone has made good arguments thus far, they've all picked the wrong guy. The cover needs to go to Kyle Carter.

Carter is an f'ing monster. He is, for my money, the best tight end in America. He has an excellent chance at winning the Mackey Award next year and be a first team All-American. We want to honor excellence, and Carter is the most excellent (not unlike Bill and Ted, when you think about it). Also, I have a class with him, so, yeah.

With that in mind, let's talk non-revenue stuff. This week, you'll be listening to Denmark's own Christian Eriksen New Politics and their song "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah." Let's do this.

Track and Field

  • The PSU women won the Crimson Tide Invitational, while the 19th ranked men's team came in third (for those who are wondering, Bama's men's team came in 2nd, and as punishment, have to spend three days training with the football team's clinically insane strength and training coach).
  • Women's top-3 finishers: Mahagony Jones, 2nd, 400m dash; Marta Klebe, 3rd, 800m run; Evonne Britton/Shelley Black, 1st/3rd, 100m hurdles; Kiah Seymour, 1st, 400m hurdles; Britton/Jones/Seymour/Brittney Howell, 1st, 4x100m relay; Seymour/Black/Jones/Marlene Ricketts, 1st, 4x400m relay; Ricketts, 1st, triple jump; Melissa Kurzdorfer, 1st, hammer throw; Lauren Kenney/Laura Loht, 1st/2nd, javelin.
  • Men's top-3 finishers: Brannon Kidder/Robby Creese, 1st/2nd, 800m run; Sancho Barrett, 2nd, 110m hurdles; Barrett/Emunael Mpanduki/Aaron Nadolsky/Bernard Bennett-Green, 3rd, 4x100m relay; Mpanduki/Casimir Loxsom/Nadolsky/Bennett-Green, 1st, 4x400m relay; Sean Reilly, 1st, high jump; Brian Leap, 2nd, triple jump; Darrell Hill, 2nd, shot put; Will Barr, 2nd, discus; Michael Shuey, 2nd, javelin.
  • The Week Ahead: Some people are going to Baton Rouge for the LSU Battle on the Bayou, some are going to Bucknell for the Bison Outdoor Classic. One of those meets has an exponentially cooler name than the other. Also, I live 30 minutes from Bucknell. Tentative forecast: 63 and rainy. But I'll leave the meteorology to Dan.


  • Top ranked men's gymnastics had the highest qualifying score of any Big Ten team at the Big Ten Championship's. Craig Hernandez was the only Nit to win an event (pommel horse, PSU took 4 of the top 5 spots in the event), but PSU had top-5 finishers in all but one event. Also, Hernandez and Felix Aronovich were named to the All-Big Ten team, and Trevor Howard was named freshman of the year.
  • The 14th ranked women went to NCAA regionals in Norman, Oklahoma, where Sharaya Musser in a tie for second in the All Around to qualify for the NCAA Championships in that event. The team finished in fourth overall.
  • The Week Ahead: WGYM has a week off. MGYM does too.*twiddles thumbs*...maybe another BSDebate about something 90's related next week? Give us some suggestions. I'm feeling best 90's Nickelodeon Game Shows.

Men's Volleyball

  • There's a thing called Lees-McRae that the 12th ranked men's volleyball team played on Friday for their senior night. They won 3-0 (25-15, 25-16, 25-20). It was a blowout. Aaron Russell and Nick Goodell had 10 kills each. Kyle Mars had seven kills in the third set alone. My buddy Ryan Stevens won wrestling headgear that was signed by Cael. It was awesome.
  • The Week Ahead: The team gets to go to California and take on Concordia, followed by a showdown with 4th ranked UC Irvine. The big issue is I don't know if I should make a California Dreamin' joke or a Dani California joke. Life's a struggle, man.


  • Both tennis teams took on Minnesota and Wisconsin. Both lost to Minnesota. Both beat Wisconsin. #ILLUMINATI
  • The 33rd ranked women were upset by the Gophers, 4-3, after splitting the singles matchups and losing all three doubles showdowns. They were able to bounce back by nuking Wisky, 7-0. They won all six singles matches and lost one doubles match. In terms of suspense, it was like when PSU's football sport players beat Wisconsin this past season, only the exact opposite.
  • The men's tennis team, who is not ranked 33rd in the country, lost 5-2 to 37th ranked Minnesota. They did manage to win two singles matches and a doubles match, which is nice, I suppose. Against Wisconsin, 4-2. PSU won. And they dominated singles, winning five of the six matchups. That's Odd Future levels of swag.
  • The Week Ahead: Both teams play Northwestern and Illinois. The women play them at home, the men on the road. Does anyone else really like the way tennis sets up their schedule so both genders play the same teams, only one is at home and the other is on the road? I like that. I wish more teams did it so my life was easier.


  • Both teams had last week off. You'd think they'd get off this week to watch the Masters instead, amirite?
  • The Week Ahead: The women have this week off to watch the Masters (HEY OOOOHHHHHHH). The men have the Hawkeye Taylor Made Invitational in Iowa City. If they need motivation to do well, a 14-year-old boy is playing at the Masters and they aren't. YOUR MANHOOD HAS BEEN QUESTIONED.


  • 12th ranked Drexel was the weakest of weak sauce when they played the 13th ranked Nittany Lions, as PSU won, 13-6. Drexel's bros obvious don't even lift. TJ Sanders had four goals, Jack Forster netted four with an assist and the team played the sickest game of frisbee on Old Main's lawn to celebrate.
  • The 7th ranked Lady Laxers, well, their week wasn't as good. They had two games, and got obliterated by 3rd ranked Northwestern, 11-3. Michael Wilbon is probably touching himself. But hey, at least they won their second game of the week, crushing Lehigh 16-3. Five ladies scored two goals, and the team is now 5-0 at home for the first time since 1991. So, yeah, let's hope they play everyone at home...*looks at schedule*...*last two games are on the road*...shit.
  • The Week Ahead: The guys have their first ever live BTN game on Saturday as they take on Towson. The ladies have two games: Sunday against Ohio State and Wednesday against Lafayette. I want to make a daylonging joke. Can't think of one. Dammit.


  • Six games for softball and...*drum roll*...THEY WON THREE OF THEM! They finished the week 3-2 (one game got cancelled), with wins over Indiana (3-0), St. Francis (4-1) and Pitt (11-7). Their two losses also came at the hands of IU (both were 4-3). Cassidy Bell tied the PSU single season home run record with her 16th homer of the season against St. Francis, and Macy Jones went HAM in the wins against IU and St. Francis: 13.2 IP, 10 H, 1 R (0 ER), 7 BB's, 9 K's.
  • The Week Ahead: Five games -- three at Ohio State over the weekend, a home double header against Purdue on Wednesday. Ride that hot streak, ladies.


  • We're actually going to go backwards this week, starting with PSU's last two games from this past week and ending with their three game homestand last weekend.
  • Their game on Wednesday against Bucknell got cancelled, but the guys were able to go out and play against a Kent State team that whooped them 10-0 last week. The result? PSU won, 3-2. Not much to report other than Ian Parvin got his first win on the season and Cody Lewis got his first save.
  • As for the weekend series against Wright State, well, I'll leave that to my buddy Nick (@TheREALNPolak) in a new segment called "Poetry With Polak."
  • "Hey guys, I'm Nick. Since no one writes baseball recaps, I decided I'm going to...with short poetry!

This weekend, we lost 2 out of 3,
To Wright State, whose existence was news to me.
Our play was quite bland,
Taylor Skerpon hurt his hand,
And I almost got stung by a bee."

  • The Week Ahead: Penn State has a three game set in Ann Arbor against Michigan this weekend, and one game against Bucknell at home on Wednesday. I'll be at the game on Wednesday, as I went to high school with a pitcher for Bucknell. Come heckle him with me!
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