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Success With Hyperlinking is Stocking Up on Hot Dogs and Beer

It's the last SwH before July 4th, and all of you in Pennsylvania, or states with similarly lax fireworks laws, I hate you.

Amare's trying to buy an Israeli basketball team. Paula Deen's also in the news. Anyone know why?
Amare's trying to buy an Israeli basketball team. Paula Deen's also in the news. Anyone know why?
Astrid Stawiarz

If you haven't already mentally checked out for Independence Day, the first few seconds ought to get you ready to fire up the grill. And the Bud Heavy. J Leman's feeling it.

Anyway, it's Tuesday, so here's some stuff you should read. If this seems a bit testy, it's because I'm writing this at 12:15 and the Mets are down 4-3 in the 13th, and I told myself I'd write this as soon as the game was over, but that now seems an imprudent decision. It's a slow time in the world of college football (literally, four of ESPN's top 13 headlinesdon't involve recruiting or people facing criminal charges), so, well, here's what we've got for you:

Midget Talks Midgets: That would probably work better if Stephon Morris were still on the team, but Malcolm Willis is pretty small too, right? Point is, new secondary coach Anthony Midget gave a state of the secondary report, and with Adrian Amos moving from cornerback to safety and joining Willis, the forever unsmiling Stephen Obeng-Agyapong, and obligatory white guy Ryan Keiser, that latter position seems pretty well stocked, even if the corners are now a cause for concern.

Phil Steele Goes Bowling: A friend of mine had her birthday party Sunday night, and we went bowling. I had a 3 through my first three frames. I ended up with a gentleman's 79. (I almost hit a 100 in the second game, so, you know, I'm pretty great.) Odds are, I'll be more accurate than anyone foolish enough to publish their bowl projections in July, but hey, if anyone has a shot to get a few right, it's Phil Steele. Set your calendars for January 5th, when ULM will take on Northern Illinois in the Bowl. Guess which bowl he has Penn State playing in! (Oh. Right.)

The Mets Won! That is all.

Penn State football: Not the money-maker it was before "It." Who woulda thunk? ... Definitely more accurate than Urban Meyer's numbers: Nike's holding a camp for elite recruits, and the combine results are only mildly insane. Good lord, Speedy Noil. (PSU WR commit De'Andre Thompkins ran a 4.46 40.) ... Speaking of Thompkins, he'll get to preview 2014 early when he teams up with Troy Vincent, Jr. at The Opening ... Tom Corbett didn't cut Penn State's funding? Weird. Now Pitt's more expensive, but oh god what a waste of money ... The first game in the Pegula Ice Arena? October 11th, when the Lions host Army. You might want to make a weekend out of it, considering that the next day is PSU-Michigan football. ... Andy Hutchins explains why Urban Meyer's probably not to blame for the whole Aaron-Hernandez-murder-thing, but I guess it turns out that personal bible study isn't the best medicine. ...I wonder if mostly-naked-frozen-river-wrestling was a sanctioned NCAA sport?

I feel like this was a little light on content. Here's more Creedence. You're welcome.