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Penn State Football KEEPS. IT. REAL.

Our degenerate video game player breaks down Penn State in NCAA '14

ARob is one of the few players that needs to do well for Penn State to live up to its EA ratings.
ARob is one of the few players that needs to do well for Penn State to live up to its EA ratings.
USA TODAY Sports

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...a sponsored post?

That's right. This post is sponsored by EA Sports' NCAA Football '14, or as I like to call it, "the thing I do until FIFA comes out." You can look at this one of two ways: 1) that the BIG CORPORATE MACHINE is taking over BSD and that I'm the mouthpiece to convey this message (if that's the case, Rage Against the Machine is releasing a box set in October to commemorate their 20th anniversary/debut album) or 2) that there is a TON of hype behind this game, it is one of the biggest sports game releases of the year and the new features in this game may make it the best NCAA Football game in a long time.

I, like most non-Occupy Wall Street-ers, think it's that second option. As someone who plays NCAA religiously, I know first hand that there have been times when the game has been REALLY repetitive. Cut scenes, the pregame montage, actual game play, it's gotten a bit...stale.

Luckily for us gamers, this year's game has a theme: "Keep It Real." New gameplay. An enhanced way to run the football that includes acceleration bursts and better cutting. Infinity Engine 2 (here's a good write up on it from last year's Madden game, where the technology made its debut). Long story short, this will be the most realistic NCAA game ever.

Speaking of keeping it real like Waka Flocka and NCAA '14 (see what I did there?), here's how our beloved Nittany Lions rate on NCAA: the team is an overall 84, the offense is an 86 and the defense is an 85.

Now, sit down, I'm about to break some horrible news to you -- Penn State has the 4th worst overall rating in the Big Ten. They have the 4th worst offense and 4th worst defense in the conference. Basically, they're setting the bar for a young PSU team with little depth low. And I really can't blame them.

But for now, let's look at the PSU team as is. The offense is an 86, which isn't great, but most of that can probably come down to the QB situation. Of the team's top 10 players, one is a WR, two are RB's and four are offensive lineman. The holes will, in all likelihood, be at QB and WR depth. For Penn State to live up to their 86 rating, which I think they will not only do but surpass, the following things will need to happen:

1) Their QB doesn't need to do much of anything.

2) Their RBs have to be very good.

3) The only WR who has to do much of anything is Allen Robinson.

4) The O-Line has to be awesome.

5) The TEs, who got zero love from the game, don't really have to do much of anything.

See? I like the offense's chances of living up to its low expectations. Even beating it. THIS GAME IS AN NCAA GAME AND THE NCAA HATES US. #InBOBWeTrust

As for the defense, it appears that the game is valuing individual guys, with one LB, one DB and one DL in their top ten players. Overall, it's the weaker of the two units, which means the bar is somehow even lower for them (NOTE: special teams aren't included in this because if you look at the ratings for the special teams unit, this happens).

For the defense, they can live up to their rating rather easily, too. I'll spare you the list, but this unit is all about depth. The game doesn't think too highly of some guys we love (ex: Hull, Mike and Barnes, Deion), so for the defense to live up to the (not so) lofty expectations of EA, the defense outside of Glenn Carson, Adrian Amos and DaQuan Jones will need to be very...average.

So that's what I think. Why don't you guys keep it real in the comments, say what you think? Oh, and we're going to pick one commenter to join us for the sequel to this post, which will be written by Nick Chris. Remember, if you don't keep it real, this happens:


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