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Let's face it, all that matters is football in two days

  • The most compelling story on campus should be that the football team kicks off their season on Saturday and they don't have a quarterback. However, it isn't. Instead, it's the saga surrounding Emmanuil Kaidanov, the school's legendary former fencing coach. Apparently, a fencer was accused of taking drugs, took a drug test, everything came back negative, Kaidanov flipped on the person who accused the fencer of taking drugs, and was fired under some university whistleblower protection act by a person hired post-It. And the source for all of this is Kaidanov's son's Facebook. It's all weird. Really weird.
  • Back to football, it turns out the team was insane away from home last year. They went 3-2, yes, but check out their aggregate score in road games: 147-78. Bob Flounders (who desperately needs a silly yet charming nickname -- looking at you, WBF) has more here, along with a few other things.
  • Former PSU DL Anthony Adams is making YouTube videos professing his love of pork to the beat of famous rap songs. It's really weird. This is a weird SWH this week. We need something not weird to mix it up. How about a video of corgis doing something adorable? Yeah. That works.
  • In recruiting news, De'Andre Thompkins may be Jesus. He touched the ball five times the other day and racked up 130 yards and 3 TD's. All of it came in the first half. Like I said, he may be Jesus.
  • Also in recruiting news, Michael O'Connor and Troy Vincent Jr. are both really good. We may need to have a serious discussion on how good this team will be post-sanctions if O'Brien stays around, especially when he'll be able to use the line "we're bowl eligible and I coached Matt McGloin into a starting NFL QB." Yes, it would be the starting QB for the Raiders, which would mean something if I wasn't officially listed on their depth chart, but still.
  • Penn State men's women's futbol is awesome, and not just because of their records. The teams are sponsoring a night to benefit the Mack Brady Soccer Fund. It's a great story, there will be cool things happening during both games, (like a US Soccer auction, so Chad can finally get the autographed Kyle Beckerman jersey that has long evaded him), and it supports a wonderful cause.
  • Other stuff: Branch Campuses...More Branch Campuses...the new campus dorms look awesome and will make you hate freshman/women in sororities more than you already do...Buzzfeed talks about men's soccer in America and why it's awesome right now...Fine, don't read that, but watch fans in Portland sing the National Anthem and get chills...AJ Styles to WWE?...*NSYNC at the VMAs was two minutes of magic...Kendrick Lamar dropped the verse of the year...Jay Onrait and Dan O'Toole are the best...No, really, they are.