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Success With Hyperlinking Is Dying from Laughter

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Hannah Johnston

Ready for a Laugh? Seriously, do you want to laugh harder than you have all week? Earlier this week, ESPN's ombudsman stated that the network's "investigative unit is a SEAL team of American journalism." This was a serious statement from someone who works at a company with the journalistic integrity that ranks well behind the E! Network. I'll just go ahead and leave the article here.

Union Talk Northwestern center and co-captain Brandon Vitabile has spoken out to make clear his belief that Northwestern does not need to unionize. Between statements like this from one of the team's players and head coach Pat Fitzgerald, I find it hard to believe the team's vote will actually bring about change to the landscape of college sports.

Pizza, Pizza In today's edition of "Just how awesome is Herb Hand?" the team's new offensive line coach helped organize a pizza crawl throughout State College. Beteer yet, Hand did it all to help raise proceeds for Bands4RAINN, a charitable organization that helps aid the victims of sexual abuse.

Three's Company BTN ranked the top three players at each position for the Big Ten. Unfortunately, only two Nittany Lions appeared on the list- Hack and Mike Hull. With a young team, plenty of guys will have the opportunity to shoot up the list by year's end.

All of the Four-Stars Surprise, surprise- Penn State is the leading candidate to reel in yet another top prospect from the New Jersey. This time, however, Rutgers will certainly put up a fight.

At Least It's Better than the Land Grant Trophy Penn State will have an opportunity to add to its trophy case this August in Ireland. The Croke Park Classic announced the winner of the Penn State-Central Florida game will take home the Dan Rooney Trophy. It's not the most breathtaking award out there, but Penn State fans have certainly seen uglier trophies in the past.

Speaking of Awards... Former Penn State lineman John Urschel received yet another honor this week when his image and handprint were added to Michael Pilato's downtown State College mural. It was a well-deserved honor as Urschel served as the perfect ambassador for Penn State during a very dark time.

Summer Reading List Have you pre-ordered your copy of We Are! 2014 yet? Why the hell not? This is a 100-plus page publication packed with information to prepare you for James Franklin's inaugural season. On top of the regular breakdowns, it will offer some truly fascinating features that will bring you even closer to your beloved Nittany Lions. It also makes a perfect Father's Day gift for any Penn State Dad. And if your dad is a pain in the ass to shop for like mine, it will be the quickest and easiest Father's Day gift you'll ever purchase- and one he'll immensely enjoy at that.