Today (and the day before) BSD's recruiting guru Chris Polak unveiled the "official" all-time Penn State draft. Five BSD writers each chose 22 Penn State greats, for a total of 110 players selected. In this post, we're building a team to beat all of them out of the players they didn't choose.
QB: Zack Mills (2004). Tony Sacca was also available, but I swore off Sacca after he threw that pick six to Rusty Medaris. Zack could run and throw, was a freshman starter for Joe (an incredible feat), and before he was beaten to a pulp, Mills dripped awesome. I'll punch you in the throat if you disagree with me about that.
RB: Lydell Mitchell (1971). It's simple - Lydell has an argument for being the best Penn State running back. Ever. We're profiting from the BSD GM's ageism.
RB: Aaron Harris (1999). Heart, effort, toughness - and he did everything superbly. (//cries a little bit).
WR: David Daniels (1990). Dave was an athletic freak who happened to play during a time when Penn State might attempt 18 passes per game. He also owns the PSU record for most ridiculous catch, with his end zone grab against BYU in the 1990 Holiday Bowl (Engram's #2, Allen Robinson's #3).
WR: Terry Smith (1991). Speed and shake. As you'll soon see, I went for a distinctly smash mouth team. Terry is my one concession to needing to change things up every now and then. He was blazing fast on the edge, and could break ankles with his shake.
TE: Brad Scioli (1998). And now we start getting mean. Scioli spent one season at tight end before heading back to the defensive side, where he became an All-Big Ten performer. I'm not as concerned about Brad's ability to catch or run the deep seam, because all I really want out of him is kidney punches. I feel good about getting that out of him.
FB: Jon Witman (1995). He's a psycho.
OL: Dave Szott (1990). Tough and mean.
OL: Todd Rucci (1993). Athletic bad ass.
OL: Todd Moules (1986). Mean as ***k.
OL: Tom Rafferty (1975). I never saw him play at PSU, of course. But he's an All-American, and he spent 600-years in the NFL, all with the Cowboys. He played so long that he blocked for both Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman. That's a leading indicator of general bad ass-ed-ness.
FB: Steve Smith (1986)
FB: Tim Manoa (1986)
FB: Sam Gash (1991)
FB: Mike Zordich Jr (2012)
Instead of 5-wide receivers, spread 'em out foosball, we're using 5 fullbacks plus Aaron Harris to pioneer an innovative "5-bulls" formation. (Plus, our special teams will kick ass).
Special exemption for goal line: FB Jason Sload (1997). If we're running goal line, then #15 has to go in motion, come back, and plow into a defensive tackle.
Let me introduce my "dark alley" defense - each of these guys you'd want with you in a dark alley. What we might lack in speed, we more than make up for with mean spirited bastard-ness. Besides, you won't be faster than us when you're laying prone and bleeding on the field.
DL: Bob White (1986). Don't be fooled by Bob's well-spoken, pleasant demeanor in his capacity as PSU's Director of Clubs and Suites. Give him a pair of cleats, point him in the direction of the ball, and he will break fools in half.
DL: Don Graham (1986). Fun fact - two Bama players died after being hit by Don Graham during the 1986 game in Birmingham. A third had to be fitted for dentures.
DL: Scott Paxson (2005). Strong like bull, and a full-on psychopath. Just what we want in the middle of our defense.
DE/LB: Justin Kurpeikis (2000). With this selection, I ensure every snap of every practice plays like it's the national title game.
LB: Trey Bauer (1987). Bauer's on the Mount Rushmore of PSU psychotics. He's a walking, talking personal foul, and would punch his grandmother if she wore the opponent's colors on the field.
LB: Bruce Bannon (1972). Never saw him play a down, but he's an All-American, and "Bruce Bannon" just sounds a little meaner than "John Skorupan" or "Kurt Allerman". Ultimately, that's what tipped the scales in his favor, among the surplus of PSU All-American linebackers who went unselected in this BSD draft.
Hero: James Boyd (2000). He was a great athlete, and wow - could he ever lay the wood.
DB: Duffy Cobbs (1986). You don't have to be the biggest dude out there to be a killer. Watch Duffy tattoo Mike Shula in the back off of a corner blitz in the 1985 Alabama game.
DB: Ray Isom (1986). Speaking of not being the biggest dude...'little' Ray Isom ruled the center of the field through fear. Justly. The force with which Isom delivered blows defied the laws of physics.
K: Chet Parlavecchio (1981). Chet was a linebacker at Penn State, and captain of the 1981 squad. He's probably not place kicked since junior high school, but he's a wild man, and I need him on my squad.
P: Ethan Kilmer (2006). Can Ethan punt? Probably. That's good enough for me. I know he can cover the kicks.
Win or lose, you're going to remember you played this team for a solid week.