BSD Mailbag 7.3.14

So I'm watching a replay of the 2013 BBVA Compass Bowl between Vanderbilt and Houston And I just noticed that after a TD, Vandy did that stupid line-up-everyone-way-off-to-the-side-then-run-over-and-kick-the-PAT thing. They’re not going to bring that crap to PSU are they? I HATE that crap. Lucius429

Ah, the "Swinging Gate." It's been perplexing coaches and fans for years. The main point of using this formation is to waste five minutes of the opponents' practice time and force them to line up appropriately in the off chance the kicking team will try some type of trickeration out of it. In Franklin's defense, he needed to take every advantage he could get at Vanderbilt while preparing for outmatched SEC opponents.

If an elderly relative knew you liked college football, and bought you a very nice jersey of a team near her, but a team you don't like. Do you,
A) wear it sometimes for good family Karma?
B) Wear it only when you have a chance of seeing said relative?
C) Never wear it?
D) Never wear it and donate it to someone who may be a fan of that team?
Big Maple

Definitely option A. At the very least, wear it around said relative as a good deed. Also, that shirt may come in handy on some Saturday when the stars align just right. For example, I once purchased an Oklahoma Sooners hoody at a gas station while traveling through the state, just because it was cheap and it was an unseasonably chilly day. I rarely cheer for the Sooners, but when I do I'm pleased to have that random shirt in my closet.

Which characters on Cheers were better? Diane or Rebecca? Coach or Woody? gerrylovesnathalie

I found Diane absolutely insufferable as a character, but at the same time her dynamic with Sam, Carla, Frasier, Norm and the rest of the gang really made the show better. Diane was a fine replacement and the show was still fantastic, but there's just something special about the early years before Shelley Long's departure. And while I count myself as a lifelong Woody Harrelson fan and found his character absolutely hilarious, Coach was always my favorite bar back. Diane and Coach had the advantage of being part of the original vision of the show, while the others two were forced to do their best as replacement characters.

My girlfriend keeps saying that her biological clock is ticking, but I can't hear shit. Do I need to stand closer to her? Also, we’ve been together for roughly ten years, we’re buying a house together and now she wants a ring. Is it just me or are things moving way too fast? She’s a lifelong Gator fan but she’s been to several PSU games with me including the FSU Orange Bowl and UF Outback Bowl (damn McGloin). We’re going to the Ireland game together and, dare I say, she’s now a legitimate PSU fan over the Gators. Loves Joe, hates Urbz. Haven’t I done enough for this woman? tampalion

She left an SEC program to convert to Penn State fanhood for you? I think you found a keeper. Go buy a ring, already.

How many Penn State basketball players got drafted last night? Dbridi

The same as the amount of unicorns living in my backyard.

What is the best root beer? Dbridi

I gave up soda and fast food a few years back, but I remember enjoying Barq's (Barq's has bite!) in my younger days. I'm clearly not an expert, though.

Name your five favorite '70s and '80s TV theme songs. Dbridi
I was born in '82, so please excuse my 1980s-centric list.

1. Growing Pains- I still get this song stuck in my head to this day. Thank goodness for YouTube.
2. Stanford and Son- True story: when I was in college I was walking to my car in a parking lot outside of Giant Eagle, when I passed the most beat-up looking pickup truck I have ever seen in my life. I have no idea how it was even running and it looked like a stiff breeze would make the entire thing collapse. Without intending to do so, I started whistling the Sanford and Son theme song. Once I realized what I was doing and that the two men standing outside the truck could hear me, I got in my car and flew out of there.
3. Dukes of Hazzard- Didn't care for the show, but loved the song. 
4. The Jeffersons- A great song to clap and stomp your feet to. Plus, it's very fun to sing in the shower.
5. Cheers- Nice sentimental song that brings me back to my childhood.

Is it weird I find the puppet chick from the DirectTV "Wireless" commercials kinda hot? skarocksoi

Yes. Unless you're a puppet, then it's completely normal and appropriate.