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BSD Mailbag 8.27.14

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There's stuff you want to ask me.

Just look at that smolder.
Just look at that smolder.
Mary Langenfeld-USA TODAY Sports

Cari, you know I'm a huge fan but I really feel like you missed out on the best possible introduction for the mailbag this week, word limitations be damned:

UCF Week Mailbag Questions! Is there anything you want to ask me?--Lucius429

I am not sure if I have ever been so ashamed of a missed opportunity as I am of this one.

I’m now sure there’s nothing you guys want to ask me.

Actual question: When will jFra release a bona-fide depth chart, rather than the seniority-based one released earlier this summer?--Raoul69

Yesterday!

What does Christian Hackenberg need to work on this year to take the next step in his development and is the sophomore slump inevitable as coaches get more game film on him?--PSU Mudder

I’m not so sure a sophomore slump is inevitable, per se, as much as it is expected—and that’s not necessarily on Christian as much as it’s on the guys around him, ie on the loss of ARob and his depleted O-Line (we’re kind of thin there, if you guys didn’t know). The progression he showed over the course of last year was marked, as evidenced by his most complete game—played under the lights in Camp Randall to end the season. He was already very good at the play fake and got better at not staring down his receivers last year; I’d like to see more progression on his decision making, and going through his reads, and not using his security blankets—easier to do now that Robinson’s gone.

Plans for next Friday? Bed early, or stay up all night and sleep after the game?--bondom34

Drinking, drinking, sleeping, waking up, shower, pregame Jameson/Guinness tailgate drinking, game at noon, postgame celebratory drinking.

For those of us who are not traveling to Ireland, how should we feel about those who are making the trip?--Dbridi

You should be so incredibly happy for us, and live vicariously through us. I’ll be having a Guinness (or five) for you.

With the NCAA creating the policy on handling sexual abuse cases by the coaching staff; does Paterno get all of those wins reinstated? It would seem so, since the policy seems to be the way Paterno handled the situation.--jiminore

Who knows? It depends on whether the NCAA will admit that that part of the sanctions, always the most tenuous in my opinion, was ridiculous in the first place (I mean, back to 1998? REALLY?), and whether the current suit by the Paterno family will force them to.

Let’s face it, though—does it really matter? We all know what happened on the field, whatever the NCAA says or does. In that regard, vacated wins are the most ridiculous sanctions the NCAA imposes—whatever school they enact them on.

Which game is most likely going to be represented by this gif?

N7freho_medium

Obviously we are the cat--PSU12

Obviously this is Big Ten Powerhouse Rutgers. This couldn’t have been a legit question, right? ;)

With Bortles and Storm gone. Who’s UCF’s biggest offensive threat?--Big Maple

Bárðarbunga

Just kidding, it’s probably their top returning wide receiver Rannell Hall, who’ll be a security blanket for RS FR QB Pete DiNovo.

The team is flying a 747 (400 series) out of Harrisburg. (Who knew you could land a 747 in Harrisburg?). Let’s assume it’s not retro-fitted for one-class charters. Who gets the first class seats up front, who gets the business seats upstairs, and who sits in the cheap seats in the rest of the plane?--Smee

Hackenberg gets the first row all to himself, with the coaches. The offensive line gets the business seats upstairs, to separate themselves and get their heads in the game (they’re unproven, dontcha know). Everyone else gets the cheap seats with the support staff.

I don’t know if that math works out because math is hard and Urschel graduated so he’s not around to help me.

I think I asked this before, but I'm going to ask it again anyway because I don't remember if it was answered or not: Where can I lay a bet on PSU winning the NC in 2015 right now with odds that make it worthwhile?—psuphysicist

I believe the answer is nowhere. It’s too early. But check back with Matt; he's the resident degenerate in these here parts.

Who is the Internet's next favorite celebrity after it moves on from Chris Pratt?

Like how Pratt became the Internet’s favorite celebrity after it moved on from Jennifer Lawrence. By this I mean who is the next celebrity who, no matter what they do, everyone on the Internet is going to annoyingly love it and say things like "OMG THEY R SO SILLY ND QUIRKY ND LOL!!~!~~!"--Bill

I have no idea, I didn’t even pick that the internet would latch onto Pratt—I’ve loved him since Everwood, so he’s not new for me. Parks and Rec just reiterated this love for me.

Boxers or briefs? Or boxer briefs, I suppose, for the sake of argument. Or WBF’s barely-there half-mankini/thong.--Lucius429

Being a girl, I have to come at this from a pure attractiveness standpoint, not comfort or ease of access or any of the other reasons you guys might choose underwear. And because of that, I’m going to go boxer briefs. Because there’s just something about them.

And also I feel like guys wouldn’t need to adjust themselves as much as they wouldn’t ride up under clothes as much, so Hunter Pence should probably take note.

Is one ever to old to ride a shopping cart as you push it? I’m pretty sure the answer is no but I just want to check--PSU12

You are correct, sir. I sometimes fight the urge to do this while grocery shopping, and fail miserably. But this question is the reason they make those automated shopping carts, right? Two birds, one stone. Also, laziness.

What was the reason for your most recent high five?--garder54

I try to high five someone at least once a day. My most recent high five was for someone kicking the habit of daily Halls throat lozenge consumption; I am anticipating copious high-fiving of BSDer Swiddy once I finally see him in Dublin, as well.

How does an adult justify wanting to see a movie with a talking raccoon?—jiminore

If you can’t suspend disbelief in a Marvel sci-fi movie, and that’s your only hangup in a movie chock full of aliens, I got nothing for you.

Guardians was pure awesome, and I literally laughed my way through it. #ComeAndGetYourLove

What is the most recs you can get? And if there is a way to track it, what is the record for recs?—Dbridi

I’m not sure if there is a limit. I know we’ve had some comments that have been in the low three-digits of recs here on BSD, but it’s been a while; I put it to some of you old-timers to do the digging through the archives, and come up with the classics of days past.