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BSD Mailbag 12.28.15

The last mailbag of the year, comin' at ya!

Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

Did you ever think you'd see David Taylor wrestle 184 (or 197)? At Midlands?--bveo12

No, I didn’t—and it’s possibly going to be the most glorious thing ever. Looking at the field, even with him bulking up and mostly wrestling freestyle now, I don’t see how he doesn’t maul the field. It will be beautiful to behold and I can’t wait for this weekend. I will be donning my Magic Man socks (thanks jtot!) in anticipation.

Was this past season's home schedule the worst ever? (Maybe it just feels that way because of all the games in a row, daytime whiteout, crappy offense, etc.) If not, what was the worst home schedule you can remember?--bearwithscarf

This past year was the only season we’ve had with five home games back to back. That alone would have been bad—but coupled with the fairly crappy home slate of opponents, and I am definitely with you in classifying this as the worst home schedule ever. San Diego State turned out to be a very decent home opponent, but the in-conference slate was really underwhelming—and though I’m not one of those "white out needs to be at night!" proponents (and the stripe out turned out pretty awesome), this year was decidedly meh. Next year looks to be so much better, and I can’t wait.

Sound off in the comments as to whether you all agree or not.

Been quiet on the recruiting front. Any chance we’ll make a splash during some of the high school all-star games? Seems like something Coach Franklin might encourage.--mcwhirter

It’ll likely be quiet for a few more weeks. The staff is probably quite focused on the bowl game and doesn’t have much extra time for recruiting—but the high school all-star games are after our bowl game, so I’d anticipate Franklin & Co to be there with bells on. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he shows up as a guest analyst for the National Title game, especially if MSU happens to make it in.

Will there be a BSD tailgate at the TaxSlayer Bowl? And why not?--tampalion

Not. I think, as of now, Chris is the only one who will be attending the game, so if there will be a tailgate it’ll be in my apartment just outside of DC—where everyone is invited, of course.

with all the coaching changes in the B1G east... I was going to ask…

what’s the over/under on how many "assistant head coaches" Maryland will hire prior to next year’s football season? but on second thought, who really cares.--DMK2435

The only reason I care is because this guy is pretty darn handsome:

(why does Walt Bell have to be a Terp now? WHHYYYYY?)

'Hired at First Sight' The new show Married at First Sight has four ‘matchmakers’ sorting through a couple thousand wannabes and coming up with three couples that agreed to be legally married the first time they meet.

Not high on my DVR list, but it got me to thinking. How about a show where all possible college coaches, both with and without a job, are evaluated by a group of four BSD staffers (or just Cari), then matched to a team? Doesn’t matter whether there’s an opening or not.

So, match a two coaches with two teams:

1. The best coach-to-team match you can think of (not currently employed there, of course) plus

2. Special trolling episode.--McCloskeywasinbounds

So, for 1, I have to give credit to Bill—because I never thought about it until he brought it up. But it’s gotta be Dabo Swinney to Alabama. He’s a quality coach, a Bama alum, only has coached at Bama and Clemson and has the absolute quintessential deep south name.

For 2, Lane Kiffin. Anywhere. But especially Notre Dame—or maybe back at USC again, just for the laughs, because performance on the field aside how perfect was that program/coach matchup?

Right now, is there anything, sports related, worst than being a Sixers fan? Tonite’s game is losing out hard to PBS – Nature "Magic of the Snowy Owl". Only way Sixers’ game beats owl program, endurance, owl show is an hour, Sixers 2+ hours.--MrNoPants

No. They are awful. That’s why they got rid of Tim Frazier, after all #trollolol

Which movie, other than Star Wars, do you most look forward to seeing in the coming month? I am pretty excited about The Hateful Eight and The Revenant.--Gerry Dincher

I just saw Hateful Eight and Sisters over the holiday weekend. I really liked Sisters, and Hateful Eight was okay—very Tarantino, but probably my least favorite movie by him (though, as my brother said when I expressed the same thing, that’s not saying a lot). I really want to see Joy, as I adore Jennifer Lawrence, and Michael Fassbender in Macbeth. I love performances of Shakespeare, especially the over the top bloody ones, and who doesn’t love Fassbender? Plus Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth seems like it would be absolutely amazing.

Supposedly Space Balls two is coming out, how are they going to do it with half the cast dead?--Sperbro

I have faith that Mel Brooks will think of something. Supposedly Melissa Rivers did a great job of playing her mother in Joy, so perhaps she can step in as Dot Matrix—though I’m not sure who can imitate John Candy—likely no one. They’ll have to have Son of Barf instead of Barf.

What TV network would you not want to binge watch? The cooking channel? Home Shopping network? A 13 season "Biggest Loser" Marathon?--jiminore

Oh, definitely Home Shopping. Cooking channel I can handle in small doses—some of them are funny (mostly not intentionally). But the home shopping just can’t be handled unironically. Though I’m definitely not a reality TV person in general—I can only handle any reality TV show, no matter what type, competition, game show, whatever, in small doses before I have to just walk away.

What do people do with their families all damn week? I’m going to be at my in-laws for a few days and I don’t know what I’m going to do. If it were my family, we’d start drinking after breakfast and sit around watching TV all day, but day drinking isn’t customary with my in-laws.--06Lion

First of all, here comes the obligatory condescending response—at least you’re off for the week, bro. Some of us actually have to work, and would love to have your #firstworldproblems.

Second of all, with how nice it’s been outside, I’m sure you could go outside for a walk or two—or maybe a picnic? I dunno, I guess some people like to leave the house. I am one of those weird people who actually enjoys the company of my family, but I’d bring a book or two to tune people I don’t enjoy out—or the tablet with some headphones and binge watch Jessica Jones or Arrow or something.

How do people in the south deal with warm weather at Christmas? This 50-60 degree bull shit we’ve been having combined with the 70 degrees expected Christmas Eve makes it feel like anything but Christmas--PSU12

Right?!? It just made me not feel like it was Christmas.


What is the best/most outrageous excuse you've used to skip terrible holiday parties.--mattinglywasking

I love Christmas, so I don’t believe in what you term "terrible holiday parties"—as long as they’re playing Christmas music and there’s booze (or punch in order for me to slip my own booze in), I’ll make my own fun, and make it a great holiday party.

* * * * * *

Whiskey question Grandfather passed away Tuesday morning in Williamsport; had one shot of Old Granddad Tuesday night in his honor, have about two shots left in the bottle, do I:

1: Drink it now

2: Drink it the night after his funeral (Tuesday the 29th) in his honor

3: Wait until we beat UGA in the bowl game and drink it in his honor.

Mind you this is the man who was a Penn State junkie, introduced me to what it means to be a Nittany Lion even though you don’t attend it, took me to numerous games as child (first one Iowa 1994…when we scored 35 points in the first quarter) and had season tickets up until poor health prevented him from going around 2004, but still watched every game that was ever on no matter the sport, and would read me updates on how the obscure sports were doing when they’d be in the Sun Gazette…--va2pennstate

First of all, I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather—and I’m glad you had so many great memories (especially PSU ones) to share with him.

Since this mailbag is posted so late, I’m not sure if this still applies, but I don’t feel really qualified to answer this—it’s such a personal thing, and really only you know the best way to honor him. But in the spirit of solidarity on behalf of the BSD community, I’m offering up a shot of whiskey upon Penn State’s first touchdown at the Taxslayer Bowl in your grandpa’s name, may he rest in peace. I hope the rest of you will join me.