James Franklin has announced position changes several for several key players while updating reporters following Tuesday's practice. The most unexpected shifts involve two of Penn State's seniors and most talented defensive players. In a completely unexpected move, Jordan Lucas will know line up as a defensive end, making a major leap from the secondary. Lucas was listed as a safety in the most recent roster, but it seems as though another move is in order for the Penn State standout.
"We used Jordan in a few different blitz packages last year and he had no problem getting to the quarterback," Franklin said. "Sure he's a bit undersized for a defensive end, but with our starters from 2014 all moving on we just had to get creative."
When asked how Lucas' departure will impact the secondary, Franklin did not hesitate to provide a solution.
"Jordan will get to the quarterback so quickly there's really no need for a secondary. We're actually even working on an 11-0-0 lineup to test this theory. Some of the guys back there are a bit disappointed they won't get much playing time, but we have to do what's best for the team. If nothing else, this new scheme will draw plenty of attention to Penn State."
In an even more head-scratching move, Franklin announced that defensive tackle Anthony Zettel will become the team's primary kick and punt returner moving forward.
"Did you guys even see that pick-six against Ohio State??" Franklin exclaimed to a room full of confused reporters. "I don't even think Tedd Ginn or Joey Galloway would have caught him in their primes. Zettel proved he can do a bit of everything, so we figured it was time for a change. If all goes well, we may want to keep him fresh and not even have him play any defense this year. Plus he told us he wanted to return kicks, and we are all very, very scared of Anthony. Sometimes he just glares into the coaches office and we all just turn off the lights and put our heads down. I would be lying if I said there have been no incidents involving soiled underpants."
Franklin ended the interview session by mentioning he had even more surprises to announce in the coming days as Penn State's spring football practice sessions continue. Be sure to check back often at Black Shoe Diaries as we are sure to post any more breaking news.
UPDATE: Did you believe a word you just read? Well perhaps if you drank a cup of coffee and looked at a calendar you would have realized it was all hogwash. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS, Y'ALL!!