Success with Hyperlinking is F%$^*&# Excited for F$@%$!& Hard Knocks

Get your buddy's HBO Go password, this is an emergency: HBO's Hard Knocks returns tonight at 10 p.m. ET, starring the Houston Texans and everyone's favorite football coach/scandal navigator, Bill O'Brien. HBO, as you may know, is not TV - which means lots of cursing that is not bleeped out. OB likes him a cuss or two, and apparently he has forbade his sweet, loving parents from watching, lest their innocent little ears be tainted forever:

OBrien saw first episode of Hard Knocks and said he called parents and told them not to watch (language). "I may get a call from my mother"

— John McClain (@McClain_on_NFL) August 11, 2015

Yeah, we'll probably host an open thread here tonight.

Season preview season: A whole host of new college football season previews came out recently, here are a few:

• Bruce Feldman's B1G preview - Bruce likes Christian Hackenberg to end all doubts about his top-pick status and the Nittany Lions to finish third in the B1G East
• CBS Sports' preseason 128 (autoplay video warning) - Ohio State is number one (duh), Penn State is 28th. Too high? Too low? Tell them.
• Vavel's Penn State preview - another prediction for Hack to come back strong, and a game-by-game preview
• We Are! 2015 - shameless plug, even though there's still no basketball content smh

Media day stories are finally out: Lions247 has features on the unsung Trevor Williams and Kevin Reihner's thoughts on the OL, Onward State talked to Akeel Lynch about his starting role, State College dot com profiles rising star Marcus Allen, and PennLive did a DeAndre Thompkins piece just for Nick.

Crootin' never stops: PennLive's Greg Pickel has a free update on seven of James Franklin's top remaining targets in the class of 2016. In shootyhoops crootin' news, former Nittany Lion Nick Colella was named Penn State's on-campus recruiting coordinator, per the New Castle News' Andrew Koob. Finally in crootin', there's now video of Tony Carr's commitment ceremony on YouTube, courtesy of Charles Jones.

College sports lightning round: Disgraced former Minnesota AD Norwood Teague is a steaming pile of garbage of a man. If you haven't read Gopher hoops beat writer Amelia Rayno's first-hand account of Teague's inappropriate advances, you should. And guess what! This wasn't a one-time thing! Who could've known.....UM Hoops is counting down the B1G's top 25 players for the 2015-16 season (25-21, 20-16). No Nittany Lions yet, or probably at all.

OT lightning round: S P A C E  V E G G I E S.....The Premier League will be on NBC networks for six more seasons.....Spencer Hall went to Burma/Myanmar. Set some time aside for this one.