BSD Mailbag 1.19.16

With a last name like yours, isn't there some way you can help PSU "flip" some recruits so this class doesn't fall off the charts - BMAN13

When I was in middle school, I went to a lot of basketball camps because it was easier for my dad to send me to those than it was for him to leave me at the house all day (I once put a Chinese takeout container in the microwave and nearly burned the house down so I get where he was coming from). At one of those camps, someone called me "Flip" and I loathed it. It ended up growing on me, and for several of my formative years, I was known as "Flip."

Fast forward to my senior year of college. I have consumed multiple beverages and I am sitting in the McDonald's on East College. I hear someone scream "YO FLIP!" and I got so excited, because it meant an old friend was there to say hello. As it turns out, it was a basketball player getting the attention of John Johnson. It made me sad, and this story makes me sad, because John Johnson was so much fun.

As for your question, no. I am useless.

Is this the worst time of the year? Holidays are over. We’re facing a long stretch before the first paid vacation day (at least for us working in the private business world), and aside from the NFL playoffs, sports largely suck. Its cold, its dark. - 06Lion

The NBA is my favorite professional sports league, so this is awesome. College hoops is around, which also rules. And it's Wrestlemania season! And Kanye is bringing back G.O.O.D. Fridays (kinda)! It's a fun time of year.

The worst time of year is August. Screw August. It means the summer is winding down, there's no sport other than baseball (and since it's in that weird "not quite time for the postseason push" mode, it's a lot of looking forward to the always fun final month of the regular season), we're subjected to shitty preseason football, and there are no federal holidays to give you a day off of work. Plus it's perpetually 600 degrees. August sucks.

So, I'm getting laid off my contract is being terminated early to replace me with someone older, gets paid more, and has zero experience. Yay government. What’s some good temporary jobs while I apply to other places? - Sperbro

One of my friends does Uber and he loves it, so definitely check that out. If not, I'm sure someone somewhere will pay you to make Dickbutt gifs. Also, in a brief moment in sincerity: you rule Greg and I would like it very much if you found a job.

At what point in the relationship do married people stop fucking each other? - WorldBFat

As a single person, I am the last person to ask this question to. I apologize, WBF. I just burned myself with a lit cigarette as penance.

Is Coach Hype the worst? Or is he worse than the worst? - Eli

So because Eli, he's being facetious and making fun of people with this question. But I'm going to take this question seriously and interpret it as the way "Coach Hype" is perceived by fans of schools like Pitt and Maryland and Rutgers. Yes, that coach is the worst, because all that coach does is raise expectations that he can never meet, and if Penn State had a coach like that, I would be very angry.

But really, all James Franklin has ever said is Penn State is going to dominate the state, and considering: 1) he hasn't really had a large enough sample size on the field to determine if he's done that but he's 1-1 against PA schools and 2) he's killed Pitt and Temple and the like in recruiting, I think it's safe to say that he's either met that expectation or we're not able to give an accurate answer yet, but so far, signs point to he's doing that.

So, in short, I think "Coach Hype" sucks, but I also don't think James Franklin is "Coach Hype," so this question is moot.

After reading Matt's post back on Tuesday (which was excellent, btw), how close do you feel PSU is to becoming a "modern" CFB program at this point? Personally, I feel like we’re still in that transition phase, where there are some remnants of the past still lingering around, but we’re catching up to the rest of CFB pretty quickly. - PSUBeatle

1) Don't ever compliment Matt. You get one warning. This is your warning. 2) On one hand, Penn State is a modern program, because it's suddenly a program that is aggressive on the recruiting trail, is willing to spend money to compete with other programs, etc. The big thing, I think, comes from the expectations held by fans. A lot of fans think Penn State should compete for conference titles every year, which is the right mindset to have (although the last few years of PSU football should have had tempered expectations for obvious reasons). However, there has been the subset of fans that have been adamant that those expectations are unreasonable, saying things like "oh we haven't won the Big Ten outright since 1994," which is a ludicrous way of looking at things. Of course, you need to have sustained success before that happens, so let's just win a lot of games, cool? Cool.

If Shoop were to leave do you think his replacement comes from someone on the staff already (Pry), or does Franklin make an outside hire? - Ben16

PUT ALL OF YOUR MONEY AND YOUR HOUSE ON BRENT PRY GETTING THE JOB AND IF YOU WANT TO PARLAY IT WITH TIM BANKS GETTING THE SAFETIES JOB DO THAT TOO.

(yeah i asked for questions a while back my b)

I need to focus on something positive. The wrestling team has a lot of potential national title contenders. Who do you think are the favorites for us? - PSUHist14

I talked with a wrestler for a story I'm working on for the ol' day job, and while I won't say who it was, I will say that he was the single most impressive college athlete I've ever talked to. Remarkably confident in himself and his teammates and he has this inherent desire to always get better, which every athlete says they have, but none of the ones I've talked to seem to "want it" as much as this guy. Unsurprisingly, he rules, so keep an eye out for that.

But to answer your question, I'll summon bscaff to the comments or something. Watching him talk about wrestling in the BSD Slack page is like watching him talk about John Donovan, only the literal exact opposite.

Tight End. What are the odds that we take one for 2016 class given Breneman’s departure? - In James We Trust

Well the team has Danny Dalton in this class, and he rules. Plus there's Nick Bowers and Jonathan Holland, a pair of redshirt freshman who can play a lil. Also recall that replacing Breneman won't be too tough considering he (unfortunately) barely played due to his injury and I don't think the staff was exactly scrambling to get a new guy in the fold when he had to leave the team.

Also while we're here, a quick AB story: one of my best friends from high school and I were born within nine days of each other. Our families decided that, the day before my birthday and 10 days before his, we'd get together and celebrate. The only issue was that I wouldn't get up from my seat and go celebrate, because I was sitting in a chair watching Breneman commit to Penn State on my friend's laptop. Considering he did this post-scandal with sanctions on the way and that he was the best player at his position in America, I had to hold back tears because I was really, really happy.

So thanks, Adam Breneman. You ruled and, without knowing, you gave me an awesome 20th birthday present.

Do you think the staff would just settle with 18 commits if they miss on the other big names still out there? Maybe they would rather save some spots for the loaded 2017 class than burn them this year on fringe players. - PhillyLion

The staff has basically said that they won't take guys just to say "hey we filled spots," but I also don't think if they miss out on their bigger targets that they'd necessarily pack it in and be happy with what they have now. I think they have backup plans in place if they don't get, say, a guy like Tre Nixon at wide receiver or a guy like Damar Hamlin at defensive back. Assuming they even want to bring in guys at those positions who aren't Tre Nixon or Damar Hamlin, of course.

Why do I like Rae Sremmurd so much? - speedomike

Because if you don't like them, you playin'. And because every song they make is a certified banger.

Will there be a "surprise" flip to Penn State on signing day? Frankly, I am tired of all of this negative shit. - jiminore

I'm not sure, I think it kinda goes back to PhillyLion's question about burning spots on guys that aren't necessarily huge targets. That being said, if there's a guy who can help who they think they can flip, you best believe that Franklin's going to target that dude hard. See: Givens, Kevin.

El Chapo just got recaptured and was sent back to the same prison he escaped from. How funny would it be if they put him back in the cell he just walked out of? - Life of the Marte

Lemme tell ya, if you're one of the people who caught him, I bet that would make you feel like El Crapo. Thank you.

Why does ANYONE think it's a good idea to replace "one" with "you" as our impersonal pronoun? - ReadingRambler

One would think that it's simply a matter of one's upbringing. Plus you sound way smarter when you use "one" instead of "you."

In all seriousness, I generally think "one" is used when you're speaking more broadly and "you" is more direct, but I have no idea. Whatever makes you happy, Rambler. You deserve to be happy. As does almost everyone else on earth.

Is anyone who thinks Franklin should be considered "on the hot seat" before the end of the 2017 season completely delusional? - PSU Mudder

I don't think so. I don't think I agree with that notion, but if Penn State goes, say, 4-8 with losses to Pitt, Temple and most of the Big Ten teams on the schedule, I think a person would have a really strong case if they wanted to argue that. The good news is I strongly doubt that happens, but college football is a results-based business, and if an AD is paying a coach $4.3 million dollars a year, people are going to have expectations that are quite high.

When will BSD conduct a clandestine face-to-face interview with a major drug kingpin or warlord? Where? With whom? By whom? - bveo12

Dude I swear that's what happened with Sean Penn and El Chapo but that jerk quintupled his rate once the story was written and ran to Rolling Stone instead. Stupid Sean Penn. Now all we have left is to have Noel go interview some random Long Island teen who sells adderall outside of a Taco Bell.

Star Trek >>>>>>>>>>>>Star Wars. Discuss. - SuperJeff

Harry Potter is better than either of those garbage franchises go ahead and fire me Cari idgaf.