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NEED TWO: Week 8 Tickets

Notre Dame v Florida State Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

Welcome to late October, college football fan. The days grow a bit shorter. The leaves begin to change color. The brisk, evening air tingles your skin. And the smell - that carnival, funnel cake smell. Just smells like...victory.

You know, some day this head trauma sport’s gonna end.

Big Ten

AWAY HOME Stadium Midfield CheapSeats
#19 Michigan #2 Penn State Beaver $426 $225
Maryland #5 Wisconsin Camp Randall $137 $72
Indiana #18 Michigan State Spartan $117 $57
Purdue Rutgers High Point Solutions $87 $49
Illinois Minnesota TCF Bank $85 $33
Iowa Northwestern Ryan Field $68 $25

Night game. Prime time. White out. Against Michigan. With ESPN College Game Day. On network TV. Number 2 ranking. Divisional race at stake. Conference race at stake. Football playoffs at stake. Heisman trophies on the line. The hopes of 8 million home viewers hang in the balance.

Let me see - what else could we pile on? Is there any more s**t we could pile on to the top of the outcome of this game? Is that possible?

Not coincidentally, if you don’t already have a ticket, then it’ll cost you $225 just to get inside. Americans love big stakes.

Quick shout out to Rutgers’ fans, who have no stakes in anything. The Scarlet Knights are horrible, and host Purdue, who is...(checks interwebs)...yep, they’re still Purdue. Yet, the secondary market for a ticket starts at $49.

Forty-nine. For Purdue at Rutgers! That’s astounding. If you’d asked me to guess, I would’ve said $1 - and that’s only because folks stopped carrying change 8 years ago.

Top 25

AWAY HOME Stadium Midfield CheapSeats
#11 USC #13 Notre Dame Notre Dame $331 $163
Tennessee #1 Alabama Bryant-Denny $282 $70
#10 Oklahoma State Texas Darrell K. Royal $153 $61
#9 Oklahoma Kansas State Bill Snyder Family $133 $44
#24 LSU Ole Miss Vaught Hemingway $110 $44
UNC #14 VaTech Lane $95 $48
Colorado #15 Wazzu Martin $99 $42
#20 UCF Navy Memorial $61 $31
#16 USF Tulane Yulman $30 $27
#23 West Virginia Baylor McLane NA $31
Kansas #4 TCU Amon G Carter NA $15
#21 Auburn Arkansas Razorback $60 $11
#25 Memphis Houston TDECU $64 $7
Syracuse #8 Miami Hard Rock $82 $6

If you thought Bama fans would be bored by all of the winning, or perhaps grown kinder and gentler - think again. No friends, the Tide hosts Tennessee, and they’re paying a premium to see orange blood. All 100,000 want - nay, demand - Witch Doctor Nick Saban to chant “kali ma, shakti de”, and rip Butch Jones’ heart from his chest for their enjoyment this Saturday. And I’m 99% certain they’ll leave Bryant-Denny satisfied.

#8 Miami plays another home game, and retains the Balto Pricing Award.

This week’s slate gives us a new trophy. Tulane, who once walked out of the SEC, hosts #16 USF at Yulman Stadium, and no matter who you are or where you sit, it’ll cost you the same. Upper deck corner of the end zone, for this one, is exactly the same as lower bowl on the 50.

I know those seats are different. You know those seats are different. Everyone knows those seats are different. Tulane? Tulane says they’re exactly the same, and wins The Orwell Award.

Bully for Baylor. They renovated their stadium during their hot streak, charged loyalists out the wazoo for the fancy new seats, and now that they stink, the loyalists are keeping their tickets. How about that? There are no 50-yard line seats available for purchase on the secondary market when #23 West Virginia visits the Brazos. That’s incredible loyalty, or - perhaps more likely - incredible depression, at having paid $250/seat for something now valued around 10-cents. Either way, bully for you, Baylor fans. Ride that Enron stock to $0.00.

Dead Man Coaching of the Week: based on the $11 tickets, it looks like Bert Biels is in trouble.

Value Buy: whew...slim pickings. How about Iowa at Northwestern? Old timey football from two run-first, punt-and-play defense coaches, in an old fashioned stadium, for $25/seat. Winner remains alive for the Detroit Pizza Bowl.