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Former Foes Week 9: Iowa Joins the Slain Pile

Adding Iowa’s now 6-2 record to Penn State’s list of vanquished foes bolsters PSU’s SOS.

PlayStation Fiesta Bowl - Penn State v Washington Photo by Jennifer Stewart/Getty Images

Two-game PSU winning streak, woo!

How did our former foes fare: woo or woe?

2018 Former Foes

Appalachian State Mountaineers

Last Seen: Saturday, losing at Georgia Southern, 34-14 (woe).

“It was cool while it lasted” — App State Center Noah Hannon, on his squad’s Top-25 ranking, prior to this loss.

The Mountaineers couldn’t overcome the loss of star QB Zac Thomas to a concussion in the opening series, and Georgia Southern got to storm the field.

Appalachian State v Georgia Southern Photo by Chris Thelen/Getty Images

Next Up: Saturday, traveling to Coastal Carolina to try to right the ship, 5p.

2018 Record: 5-2.

Pitt Panthers

Last Seen: Saturday, in a home* shootout with Duke, which they won, 54-45.

Pitt can still win the ACC Coastal Division.

I know!

With games left against UVA, Va Tech & Miami, there’s a lot of their own destiny the Pantherduzzies do control.

Next Up: Tomorrow (Friday), at #23 Virginia (I know!), 7:30p.

2018 Record: 4-4.

Kent State Golden Flashes

Last Seen: Tuesday, October 30, winning their first MAC game (woo!), at Bowling Green, 35-28.

Kent State v Bowling Green Photo by Kirk Irwin/Getty Images

We need to train more Getty & USA Today photographers how to grab a great shot of Sean Lewis’ beard. As is, within the current mothership selection bucket, sad Bowling Green / happy Kent State endzone shot will have to do.

Next Up: Tuesday, November 6, at Buffalo, 7:30p.

2018 Record: 2-7.

Illinois Fighting Illini

Last Seen: Saturday, having their manhood questioned by Maryland in the DMV, 63-33.

Against a defense that did pretty well against Trace McSorley for 3 quarters, the Terps scored at least 2 touchdowns every quarter and ran up a whopping 712 yards of offense. 431 of those were on the ground. Ten different runners carried the ball, with half of them rushing for 50 or more yards.

That’s a lot of crab pretzels.

Next Up: Saturday, hosting Minnesota, 12p.

2018 Record: 3-5.

Ohio State Buckeyes

Last Seen: October 20, getting smashed in the face by Purdue, 49-20.

Brutus had a bye week last week.

Next Up: Saturday, hosting an upstart Nebraska program trying to earn its 3rd win, 12p.

2018 Record: 7-1.

Michigan State Spartans

Last Seen: Saturday, NOT getting smashed in the face by Purdue, instead smashing that potent offense with its meaner defense, 23-13.

Sparty’s defense held Purdue to 339 total yards, and took the ball away 3 times.

On offense, Dantonio revealed he had secretly recruited Thor’s second cousin, who had to do a spot start for injured starter Brian Lewerke.

Michigan State v Arizona State Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

As if his golden locks and mammoth pythons weren’t enough, dude goes by the name of Rocky.

Last name Lombardi.


So Rocky Lombardi (Asgard, MI), went 26-46, for 318 yards, 2 TDs and zero picks. Pretty good for his first game in our realm.

Next Up: Saturday, traveling to gorgeous, scenic College Park to take on the current most dysfunctional B1G program, Maryland, 12p.

2018 Record: 5-3.

Indiana Hoosiers

Last Seen: Friday, extending their losing streak to four games at Minnesota, 38-31.

Indy finally gassed up its open-wheel machine in the 4th quarter, scoring three straight TDs to tie it up. But on the ensuing drive, Minny iced it with a 67-yard TD pass from Tanner Morgan to Rashod Bateman.

Next Up: Next Saturday, after a bye week, hosting Maryland, 12p.

2018 Record: 4-5.

Iowa Hawkeyes

Last Seen: Saturday, struggling to pass the ball accurately in the rain and being outlasted by Penn State, 30-24.

NCAA Football: Iowa at Penn State Matthew O’Haren-USA TODAY Sports

Next Up: Saturday, traveling to Purdue to battle for 3rd place in the B1G West, 3:30p.

2018 Record: 6-2.

Former Bros

Mississippi State Bulldogs

Former Penn State Assistant and all-around likeable bro, Joe Moorhead, is now the Head Coach at MSU. We’ll follow his progress here this season too.

Last Seen: Saturday, knocking off #16 Texas A&M in Starkville, 28-13.

Our bro JoeMo really is the coolest bro. Here he is in the post-game presser talking candidly about reflecting on his own self-identity and getting really emotional about his current players:

Next Up: Saturday, hosting Louisiana Tech, 7:30p

2018 Record: 5-3.

2017 Former Joes

Akron or Pitt? You decide!

Akron Zips

Last Seen: Saturday, beginning a 2-game win streak, by Central Michigan at home, 17-10.

Basically, Akron & Pitt are a weather-canceled opening-week game between Akron & Nebraska away from having the exact same record.

Next Up: Saturday, hosting Central Michigan, 12p.

2018 Record: 4-3.