BSD Mailbag 9.14.18

wait I’m not ready. Can we bask in the Pitt win more? —GSAPS

Sure.

Genuine Concern for Juwan and DeAndre? I know we’re only 2 games in, but both have had the drop bug and aside from the PR DeAndre has been non-existent in the offense. Should I be concerned or just embrace Hamler as “The Man” and enjoy 2-0?—KWB123

Any reason to believe the departure of Gattis and arrival of Corley has anything to do with all the drops?—pags22

Since these two are related, I’m gonna answer them together.

In my prediction for this week’s game, I mention Juwan Johnson and DeAndre Thompkins as players on the spot; I know Johnson was the savior of last year’s Iowa game and Thompkins has been stellar in punt returns, but if they don’t clean it up (and block better), they’ll be passed on the depth chart by younger, more highly touted underclassmen. Thompkins even has a big fat OR by his name on this week’s depth chart (o hai Brandon Polk) - and that’s even before we’ve seen Jahan Dotson and Justin Shorter.

Yes, the two upper class wideouts need to catch the balls that hit them in their hands. No, it’s not Corley’s fault (though I’m not as sold on him as I am on JuJuan Seider). Those two had 3 years with Gattis - and it’s much harder to unlearn good habits than learn bad ones. I think they’re both probably overthinking things, looking forward to what they’re doing after the catch or the hit they may take rather than thinking about securing the ball.

I expect they’ll clean it up over the coming weeks - and if they don’t, I’m confident in the players that will play in their place.

Is Kent State where Superman went to college? If so, what are the odds Superman shows up on Saturday to deliver the pregame talk to the Golden Flashes?—Paebr332

Not Superman, but he’s a super guy!

I know you don’t want to talk Pitt, but given that:

• we obliterated them in spiteful, humiliating fashion
• their team gave up long before it was over
• their fans gave up even earlier resulting in some loud “We are” chants in their stadium
• Narddawg got a 15 yarder for his douchebag antics
• a rb that he previously recruited dominated
• and now the #1 player in the state, who lives near Pittsburgh, whose father played in Pittsburgh, who was on an official visit to Pitt to witness the game, has committed to Penn State.

My question is, have you ever seen a more complete, thorough destruction of a coach and team?—InflammableDumpster

Was Saturday night a Pitt program killer?—Bob Sacamano

I just saw an interview with a Pitt coach who hasn’t left their athletic building since Sunday after they lost to us. The coach has basically forsaken his family. Did we completely break Pitt?—skarocksoi

I don’t think Pitt, as a program, has ever been the same since this:

I think it was more of a wake-up call to many who thought Pitt could compete on the field and the recruiting trail with anyone, that the once-a-year upsets of a high ranking team were proof that their program was headed in the right direction. It’s not, and it hasn’t really since the ‘80s; I’ve seen many Pitt fans talking about how much more athletic Penn State was on the field, and it was an eye opener for them - the realization that they aren’t catching up, they’re falling farther behind. AND I AM HERE FOR IT.

Was Coach Franklin making a point? That he really doesn’t want to play Pitt anymore with the late TD throws and challenging the Slade fumble with a minute to go?

That being said, is he doing such that Pitt will no longer ask to play an annual series?—LarzLion

Of course CJF was making a point. His point was, don’t write checks that you and your team can’t cash. Or, this:

Franklin is one of the pettiest coaches in college football. I am also here for this.

I posted the following comment in the 8/10/18 Mailbag.

I hate Pitt.

So what I’m about to do is very difficult.

I really like Coach Powell, and your punter, Kirk Christodoulou, is a great kid and funny as all get-out.

Is it possible we have a BSD Mailbag jinx? Whereby, against our communal feelings of hatred for the opposing team, someone here truthfully speaks well of a player on that team, and that player then goes on to have an extremely poor game?—Smee

I’m sorry, I’m going to need you to post comments on my mailbag posts with compliments of our opponent that week, and one of their players.

For example, Kent State coach Sean Lewis has a great beard, and their Woody hasn’t punched an opposing player during a football game. Now, it’s Smee’s turn!

Maybe I’m jumping the gun here, but, is KJ Hamler there best PSU receiver ever?—adamp1984

You are absolutely, positively jumping the gun.

The video above shows one of the greats: Kenny Jackson. You also have Bobby Engram, OJ McDuffie, Joe Jurevicius, Deon Butler, Chris Godwin, Allen Robinson...Hamler could find himself on that list eventually, but he’s just a freshman. He has three two more years to work his way into the mix.

Imagine that you must join the coaching staff of one of the following most hated coaches. Rank your order of preference from, “Since I have to do this I will coach for….” to “Are you sure you’ll kill me if I dont?” As part of this assignment you need to support your reasons with evidence.

Here are your choices, in no particular order: Pat Narduzzi, Urban Meyer, Jim Harbaugh, Mark Dantonio, and Brian Kelly.—Gerry Dincher

HAHA joke’s on you, you didn’t even put my two most hated coaches on there!

I actually used to like Urban Meyer (or, at least, didn’t actively dislike him). Then the whole Zach Smith fiasco happened, and now all of those people can get bent.

We’ll go Harbaugh, Narduzzi, Dantonio, Meyer. I’m not even going to contemplate Kelly, because at least the other four didn’t actively lead to the death of a student.

Did Penn State miss an opportunity by not scheduling the University of Albany for a non-con foosball game since this guy is their starting QB?—Smee

The media scrum would have been nothing short of hilarious

(side note: I don’t know what’s worse, the typo when it talks about his playing in a game versus Texas Tech as a true freshman at Miami, or the fact that he still “intends to major in communications”. As a senior.)

who do you pick in a best of three wrestle-off? Teasdale or Teske? Berge or Verkleeren? I’m picking Teasdale and Verk. I don’t think maybe Verk wins forever, but I give him the edge in a pre-season wrestle-off.—Claypool313

I really, really am looking forward to Gavin Teasdale wrestle, so I’m going with him.

I’m more split on Brady and Verkleeeren, but I’m going to go with Berge in three because I’m a sucker for alliteration. That’s a pick based on absolutely no knowledge whatsoever, by the way.

Why does Beth mowens voice make me want to punch my tv? Also- why does Sam darnold’s face make me want to do the same?—GOPSU_classof2011

Legitimately, I don’t know - I really like her (and it’s Mowins). I have a ton of respect for women who go do a job that, for decades, they’re told they can’t do because they’re not men, and actually do a good job at it.

Plus, whenever I hear her voice, I think of this:

And Sam Darnold’s face is punchable almost solely for the 2017 Rose Bowl, and Penn State’s 21st century penchant for making an opposing quarterback’s career based off one game against them.

Where can I get that jacket and pants coach wears in the rain? He looked pretty dry this weekend.—Smee

It looks like it’s similar to this, but logo’d. The tea m and staff get so much awesome stuff that isn’t available to the public, but should be because THEY NEED TO TAKE MY MONEY.

Minor everyday inconveniences: I really can’t stand those little plastic seals that come on the top of condiment bottles and the like. I get all excited to squeeze out some recently purchased grey poupon (classy) and am immediately deterred by the frustrating seal that is equal parts impossible to remove and pointless, I think. Give me your top MEIs folks—18novalion

Mine is probably when I’m taking the elevator up to my 7th floor office, and someone furiously pushes the “elevator doors close” button so that they don’t have to wait an extra two seconds, and the elevator door closes in my face.

That or having to actually talk to someone in the morning before I’ve had coffee.

Can you explain the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics?—BlueandWhiteTangerines

No. But I’m sure you’d like to explain it to me.

Which bathrooms are better, Starbucks or Sheetz?—Sperbro

Everything is better in Sheetz, c’mon, man. You know better.

Which is more valuable, knowledge or wisdom?—48-14

Considering having wisdom normally includes having a wealth of knowledge, I’ll go with the latter. There’s a Kant quote that I think backs me up, too.

What are your thoughts on Marxism, Leninism, Trotskyism, Maoism, and the RPO?—mattinglywasking

I think that Pat Fitzgerald is a dick.

Nesquik, Ovaltine, Chocolate Syrup or Protein Powder? what is your DIY chocolate milk choice? I have been known to mix #3 & #4….convincing myself it is healthier—LukePSU89

All Hershey’s, all the time.

It’s pretty funny, because if I’m having chocolate syrup on something desserty, it’s gotta be hot fudge, not Hershey’s. But in a milkshake or chocolate milk, anything but Hershey’s is just wrong.

Scenario - It’s November 10th, and we’re undefeated and ranked #2 in the country, about ready to run out of the tunnel in our friendly confines to take on the undefeated #1 Wisconsin Badgers for arguably the biggest game in Beaver Stadium history

Everyone knows the implications of this game. College Gameday broadcasted from the Hub lawn earlier in the day, and Corso put on the Lion head. This is the biggest game across the college football landscape of the entire season and is a preview of the B1G championship game still a few weeks away. The winner all but guarantees punching their ticket to the playoff. The national pundits are analyzing this game at SEC-focus levels the entire week and are pretty split on their predictions of who will win.

Not that this squad even needs it having come so close to the playoff the past couple seasons, but CJF is looking for that extra little edge and calls up a few alumni for a pregame speech that’ll make this team sprint out of the tunnel and right through a brick wall.

What four former players does CJF call up to bring in to deliver the greatest pregame speech of all time?

My suggestions -

• Lavar – because it’s Lavar….and if he somehow wasn’t invited he’d show up anyways and outdo everyone else’s speech who WAS invited
• MRob – because he was, by far, the single best leader the program has had since the turn of the millennium (my opinion)
• Poz – because Poz.
• Mauti – because he was the second best leader the program has had since the turn of the millennium

Other nominees -

• Zordich – obvious reasons
• Tamba – something tells me you want to listen to every word this guy says
• QB14 – LOL JK

—chulupabatman

Your suggestions are pretty spot on, but I’m not so sure about MRob. I’d instead put Deon Butler in there.

Some poems were sent to a Pitt alumnus friend after the game. Please critique, and (in any format) write us your own poem about the game.

Roses are red,

You put up a good fight.

The 15 yard penalty on Narduzzi,

Was our favorite play of the night.

Roses are red,

Violets are pretty.

Who would have thought,

We’d put up over 50?

Roses are red,

There’s always next year.

Tailgate in Happy Valley?

We’ll buy the beers.

—UnreasonablyTall

Heinz 57

Isn’t just a condiment

It’s also Pitt tears

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In last week’s mailbag, we tackled the worst job our commenters have had. These are the nominees, if you need a refresher - then vote in the poll!

• Gerry Dincher
• adamp1984
• skarocksoi
• GSAPS
• mattinglywasking
• LarzLion
• PhillyLion
• bva-psu
• SuperJeff
• Alx_Nick
• wvlion
• Hate 710
• Pasadena ‘95
• mbailey71