Good day, friends. Let’s take a short break from our loving friendship and kind appreciation of all that is good in the world, to explore the more adversarial aspects of our favorite football team and its former foes.

Archive of Former Former Foes:

1. 2018 Preseason
2. 2018 Week One
3. 2018 Week Two

2018 Former Foes

Appalachian State Mountaineers

Last Seen: Stomping the hell out of Conference USA’s Charlotte 49ers, 45-9.

Two weeks ago.

Their scheduled contest against Southern Mississippi last week at home in Boone, NC was canceled by Florence.

Next Up: Saturday, vs the Gardner Webb Runnin Bulldogs, at home, 3:30p, on ESPN+.

2018 Record: 1-1

Pitt Panthers

Last Seen: waking from its dirt nap against Penn State to defeat Georgia Tech, 24-19 and begin its ACC season 1-0.

The number one thing the Panthers improved on from Penn State Week was reducing their self-inflicted wounds.

Surprisingly, I couldn’t find a website that gathers and publishes super-important data elements like Coin Toss Winner and Coin Toss Winner’s Choice and Did the Coin Toss Player Captains Get Chewed Out by their Coach After the Coin Toss. But given the press that Pitt’s prior week’s performance provided, I’d suspect that if the logic in that latter boolean resulted in anything other than “false,” we’d have read about it. So we’ll give ole Narddddiggy diggy dogg the benefit of the doubt and presume he successfully coached this week’s coin toss.

In more easily researched and found measurables, the Panthers reduced their penalties a lot, from the yakkety sax 14 for 144 against our Lions, to 4 for 38 against the Jackets.

Qadree Ollison ran 17 times for 91 yards and Kenny Pickett had a very nice completion percentage, on 16 for 23 attempts (69%), and the Panther D held the Georgia Tech rushing attack to 320 yards, about 70 below their average.

Next Up: Saturday, at North Carolina, 12:20p, on Raycom Sports.

2018 Record: 2-1

2017 Finish: 5-7

Kent State Golden Flashes

Last Seen: mostly keeping its collective chin up while getting thrashed by our Lions 63-10 and collecting probably a million dollars in straight cash homie (USA Today reported in August that KSU would collect 3.65 milly total for its away games at Illinois, PSU & Ole Miss).

Ahead of the game, Coach Unity Hype was effusive about his friend, the young & giant Golden Flash Head Coach, Sean Lewis, and Tim Brando pushed even more praise during the broadcast. Watching him on the sidelines, Lewis’ composure, demeanor and communication did appear rather admirable, certainly so in the context of the thrashing his team was accepting on the field.

Does he have enough coaching props and promise, and does the squad have enough talent for Kent State to contend in the MAC? We’ll have to watch and see.

Next Up: Another payday Saturday, at Ole Miss, 12p, on SECN.

2018 Record: 1-2

Former Bros

Mississippi State Bulldogs

Former Penn State Assistant and all-around likeable bro, Joe Moorhead, is now the Head Coach at MSU. We’ll follow his progress here this season too.

Last Seen: Sep 15, slappin the taste out the mouth of the Ragin Cajuns of Lousiana, 56-10.

In our Nick Fitzgerald Emulates Trace McSorley watch, the 5th-year Senior QB shook off the rust of the previous week and 14 of 21 passes for 243 yards and two TDs. But he also rushed 15 times for another 107 yards and 4 TDs!

Next Up: Saturday, going Kentucky Wildcat shopping at Kroger Field in Lexington, 7p, on ESPN/2/U.

2018 Record: 3-0

2017 Former Joes

Akron or Pitt? You decide!

Akron Zips

Last Seen: Teaching Pat Fitzgerald what real Communism looks like, taking 39 points from the Northwestern Wildcats, assimilating them into the MAC and putting them at the back of the bread line.

Down 21-3 at halftime, the Zips leveraged statistical deficits of 15 to 30 in First Downs, 367 to 491 in Total Yards and an inexplicable 15 for 140 yards of penalties, to NW’s 3 for 35 to dish out a big fat 39-34 L to the square-headed coach on his home field.

Next Up: Saturday, at Iowa State, 12p, on FS1.

2018 Record: 2-0 (No more Nebraska asterisk here, as their dismal early season performances have abdicated their fans’ right to claim their weathered-out Week One game with Akron as a W).