Thanks again to Jennifer Stewart for that glorious pic above.

Archive of Former Former Foes:

1. 2018 Preseason
2. 2018 Week One
3. 2018 Week Two
4. 2018 Week Three

2018 Former Foes

Appalachian State Mountaineers

Last Seen: Slobberknocking the wildly overmatched Gardner Webb Runnin Bulldogs, 72-7.

Fat dope takes usually go here, but there’s not much to offer up beyond detailing the mismatch. App State ran up 432 yards rushing and 6 touchdowns, but Zac Thomas only ran 4 times for 8 of those yards and 1 of the TD’s. He also only attempted 15 passes, completing 11 of them, for one other touchdown.

He didn’t play very long.

But his teammates picked up the slack, scoring 8 other touchdowns.

Next Up: Saturday, kicking off Sun Belt Conference play at home vs South Alabama, 3:30p, on ESPN+ .

2018 Record: 2-1

Pitt Panthers

Last Seen: Losing to North Carolina for the sixth time in a row, 38-35.

This game was tight, and back and forth, with Pitt’s inability to stop UNC QB Nathan Elliott perhaps being the difference. The score was tied four different times, but when UNC followed Elliott’s second touchdown pass (on 22 for 31, for 313 yards) with a field goal late in the third quarter, Pitt was unable to tie it up again.

Penalties? How’d they do there?

After the Penn State game, during which, I’m sure you’ll recall, the Panthers hilariously botched the coin toss, Pitt Coach Pat Narduzzi admonished himself for earning one of their 14 penalties by arguing a different one about substitutions. Quipped the fiery firebrand, to his players that week:

I will not get one again.

I’m disciplined enough.

My fault, dumb.

Last week in Chapel Hill, he did once again manage to coach out much of the sloppiness that was on display for Lions fans, as each team finished with 5 penalties, for 45 yards. I didn’t tune in to Raycom Sports that day, but one vigilant Penn State fan did, and lookie what he saw:

Hmmm. Weird, indeed, Adam.

But consider, if you will, a counterpoint:

Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

Next Up: Sat, at UCF, 3:30p, on ESPNU.

2018 Record: 2-2.

Kent State Golden Flashes

Last Seen: Clockin more mad bank in the shadow of The Grove, while losing to Ole Miss, 38-17.

Watching the Lovie Beard roam the sidelines Friday night, I realized I’d been remiss to speak so highly of Kent State coach Sean Lewis’ fine beard without pic-linking to it.

Rectified!

Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

Just look at that thing. Gorgeous!

Coach Beard here had his squad in the game through halftime, when it was tied 7-7. But the Ole Miss offense wore out the Golden Flashes in the second half and scored 4 touchdowns to put the result out of reach.

They fought hard, though, and can now sit back, count their money, and look ahead to that beloved CFB tradition: MACtion, baby. MACtion.

Next Up: Sat, at Ball State, 3p, on ESPN+

2018 Record: 1-3.

Illinois Fighting Illini

Last Seen: Getting scrubbed out, after putting up a very tough fight, by Penn State 63-24.

Our BSD brethren dropped excellent takes here and here and here.

The only thing I’d add is to ask that we all take another moment to appreciate the glory of Lovie Smith’s gorgeous grandpa beard.

Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

Next Up: Oct 6, at Rutgers, 12p, on BTN.

2018 Record: 2-2

Former Bros

Mississippi State Bulldogs

Former Penn State Assistant and all-around likeable bro, Joe Moorhead, is now the Head Coach at MSU. We’ll follow his progress here this season too.

Last Seen: Sep 22, gettin the taste slapped outta their mouths, by a brutish Kentucky Wildcat squad, 28-7.

I tuned into this one, and man, was it surprising. Mississippi State has a ferocious defensive line that was Top-5 in tackles for loss heading into Lexington.

And they got punched in the damn face.

Kentucky rushed 47 times for 229 yards, and Benny Snell Jr. scored 4 touchdowns.

On the other side of the ball, it was more of the same. Nick Fitzgerald led the Bulldogs down the field for an opening-drive touchdown and that. was. it. He and JoeMo both looked lost and utterly impotent and sad. The Bulldogs finished with 56 yards rushing on 28 attempts and 145 yards passing on only 16 completions.

I’d been wondering when Ball Coach Joe Mo might get his Welcome to the SEC moment, but didn’t expect it to be at the hands of Kentucky. Hoo boy, those Stoopsian Wildcats looked mean!

If you missed watching this game, I highly recommend peeping Bud Elliott’s breakdown of it on the SBN Mothership. A fun read that reiterates the beautiful physicality of a beautifully physical game.

Next Up: Saturday, hosting another Wildcat victim, the Florida Gators, 6p, on ESPN2.

2018 Record: 3-1

2017 Former Joes

Akron or Pitt? You decide!

Akron Zips

Last Seen: Sep 22, squeaking out a loss to Iowa State, 26-13.

Next Up: Beginning MAC play next Saturday (they’re off this week), Oct 6, at Miami Ohio, 3:30p, on ESPN+.

2018 Record: 2-1.