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BSD Mailbag 11.22.19

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It’s super weird to say this late in November, but it’s Ohio State week, y’all!

NCAA Football: Ohio State at Penn State Matthew O’Haren-USA TODAY Sports

Likelihood of the following outcomes happening on Saturday (total of 100%):

PSU wins by 7 or less (25%)

PSU wins by 7 to 20 (10%)

PSU wins by 20+ (5%)

OSU wins by 7 or less (35%)

OSU wins by 7 to 20 (20%)

OSU wins by 20+ (5%)

My estimates in parentheses. Basically, I’m expecting a close game to PSU cover, but if it gets out of hand it could get out of hand either way. OSU hasn’t had a fight, so I really wonder what happens to Fields, Day and everyone new in big roles when they finally (hopefully) get punched in the face.—kijana’s acl

PSU wins by 7 or less (15%)

PSU wins by 7 to 20 (8%)

PSU wins by 20+ (2%)

OSU wins by 7 or less (25%)

OSU wins by 7 to 20 (35%)

OSU wins by 20+ (15%)

I absolutely understand what you are saying about the lack of fight, but we also had similar talk of how Minnesota had not faced anyone before we played and look how that turned out. Ohio State is a very good team (& is well-coached) and I’ll believe they can lose big or won’t be able to close out games when I see it.

I mean, this is, after all, the eleventh game of the season—not the seventh.

What would you be willing to give up for a year if guaranteed an O$U win?

1. Alcohol

2. Pizza

3. Coffee (not applicable if you don’t drink)

4. Sex (alone or with partner)

5. Chick Fil-A

6. BSD—bva-psu

I would absolutely easily be able to give up Chick Fil A or pizza, as I’ve had both probably a combined five times in the last year. So I would do both, and be damn proud of it.

What would you be willing to do for a guaranteed O$U win?

1. Masturbate in front of your parents.

2. Fart in church (not silent)

3. Wear Pitt gear to work and shit your pants.—bva-psu

#2. Because that’s so normal enough anyway, it happens frequently enough to be almost commonplace.

Was our weak pass defense the last couple of weeks the new normal for this team, or an aberration? What should we expect of them this week? (I’m working on lowering my expectations.)—48-14

I’m completely unsure. Both Minnesota and Indiana are good enough teams that they can survive when our front seven take away the run—they’ve both been able to rely on their passing to win games, and will continue to do so. It’s not like we’re saying that Army threw for 350 yards against us.

But OSU is a different animal. They have more talent than almost anybody top to bottom, and were in many ways discounted this season, with Michigan and Wisconsin anointed by many early-on to be the favorites to go to Indy (with Justin Fields and Ryan Day being, in many ways, unknowns who have overperformed to date). They rely primarily on the run so far, but are balanced enough to take advantage of what the defense gives them—and in our case, we’ll give them a cushion and a soft zone over the middle if we’re in zone. I expect them to strike there pretty early.

Is there a team in the history of ever that gets so much hype and press for annual 3rd place divisional finishes as Michigan?

I saw some BTN scuttlebutt on Twitter last night, where the question was asked “Is Michigan the 2nd best team in the B1G?” Seems like every season when Penn State beats them, Penn State gets little credit for it. Nevermind overlooking the fact they got hamblasted by Wisconsin, as well. It’s just incredible to watch some mouthbreathers try to warp reality to fit the narrative they had hoped for in the preseason, going so far as to ignore Michigan’s two conference losses and simply focusing on Michigan’s good wins.—06Lion

In some ways, it is pretty ridiculous—in others, though, I think back to 2016 when it was pretty clear that there was a strong debate over who was the first, second, third or fourth best team in the Big Ten, with Michigan in that debate an holding a win over the Big Ten champs in their pocket.

The big difference there is, of course, that Michigan doesn’t even have a shot at winning the conference, even if they win out; the winner of this week’s game in Columbus will win the Big Ten East and likely face the winner of Minnesota-Wisconsin next weekend.

If someone had told you in the preseason that, “Illinois is still technically mathematically alive for the Big Ten Championship” would have a longer shelf life than “Michigan is still technically mathematically alive for the Big Ten Championship,” would you have assumed that the Big Ten West was simply awful and Harbaugh was in serious risk of being nudged out?—ckmneon

Honestly? That wouldn’t have been all that surprising, considering the crapshoot that was the Big Ten West this preseason. I mean, some were saying NEBRASKA was a shoo-in as the division champs! I saw pucks for them, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Minnesota—so basically, throw some shit against the wall to see what sticks. And wouldn’t it be delightfully absurd if Illinois is what sticks?

Hypothetical Bowl Opponent: So let’s say that you decided that you were going to any bowl, anywhere, that PSU gets into this season. You are paying for it yourself, and you know that you will be tailgating, enjoying the bowl festivities, post-game tailgating, etc. Do you want PSU’s opponent to be a “good matchup”, or a “likely win”? Some have voiced displeasure at the thought of playing a team with say, 4-5 losses as being boring, but given the fact that most bowl games are relatively meaningless, would you prefer an opponent that grants you the best chance at a thoroughly enjoyable trip, ie Penn State victory?—papa_wheelie

It definitely depends on the game we’re in, not just the opponent. I’d much rather play a 4 loss opponent in a NY6 bowl than a very good opponent in a lower-tier bowl game. I honestly think there’s a lot of benefits to playing the ACC runner up in the Orange Bowl (a la 2005) versus a team that’s going to be favored vs PSU, though no one can discount the ““disrespect” card that the underdog will play.

State is now ranked 8th in the CFP standings. How funny is it that a bunch of total strangers — many of whom could have enmity towards PSU — think more highly of our football team than do many so-called fans, who bemoan us being “exposed” as “mediocre” bc we “barely squeak by” teams such as Indiana?—PSU_Lions_84

It’s funny but unsurprising. For many, many years there have been fans who love nothing more than to shit on the team even when it’s great, who watch games in which we put up 70 points and complain about our offense. That being said, many voters and talking heads don’t actually watch full games so may have not seen small things that fans who watch every moment have picked up on; but on the converse, most PSU fans haven’t watched every game of the other top ten schools so don’t have a frame of reference for where the Nittany Lions stack up.

can you name an uglier schedule than our 2020?

Sep 5 vs Kent State

Sep 12 at Virginia Tech

Sep 19 vs San Jose State

Sep 26 vs Northwestern

Oct 3 at Michigan

Oct 17 vs Iowa

Oct 24 vs Ohio State

Oct 31 at Indiana

Nov 7 at Nebraska

Nov 14 vs Michigan State

Nov 21 vs Maryland

Nov 28 at Rutgers

we literally have the month of October to make our case to the selection committee and hope they remember our qualifications down the stretch as we likely pummel the November slate of lower tier opponents. I know we are striving for 1-0 each week, but God that schedule is ugly—kingkub

At least we’ve got a BYE between Michigan and Iowa! And Iowa and Ohio State are back to back; we took a lot of momentum this year from that Iowa win into the game against Michigan, which we should be able to do next year with a more seasoned quarterback.

But damn if that final two week stretch doesn’t look horrible one year out.

Do you think they’ve moved Rutgers to the finale because attendance is traditionally low that weekend? It’s such a great weekend to go to a game AND head downtown. With the students gone, the bars are usually super chill.—bearwithscarf

I think they did it so that Rutgers (and before that, Maryland the last two years) would be appeased during “rivalry week” with the team they want to be their rival. Obviously execution is not as good as those theories, and I’d rather finish against Michigan State again. Or, even better, Nebraska.

What are Michael Mauti and Paul Posluszny up to now that their football careers are over?—Gerry Dincher

Poz was planning on going to business school after his NFL retirement last year, but I can’t find anything after this.

Besides producing he film ““Iron Lions”, Mauti May be trying to get into broadcasting:

Can we come up with an agreed upon definition of elite? The word gets thrown around like a teenage girl throws around the word iconic.

I see Bama, Clemson, and OSU as elite. Then a lower revolving tier with perennial top tenish teams like UGA, LSU, PSU, Wisconsin, and the like.—Dbridi

Virginia Tech, duh

side note, is using the word “iconic” actually a thing now? When did I get so old?!

Watched part of an SEC game this weekend (sorry, channel-surfing). Kids hand on hand-warmer belts. Justified, or just weenies?—Smee

Ask the 2008 Penn State team whether it’s justified.

Does Ed DeChellis still have terrible taste in neckties?—WorldBFat

Sure thing

NCAA Basketball: Navy at Pennsylvania Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Talking bobbleheads: Saw recently that there is a talking Mike Leach bobblehead, you press a button and it “says” one of his well known quotes/sayings. Were there to be a CJF talking bobblehead, what would it say (other than “obviously”, obviously)?—phillyfanisc

A lot of buzzwords, some “family” and ““it’s zero-zero”, and of course, ““It always starts with I Love You and always ends with I Love You”.

OBC or HBC??? I mean, it’s pointless to make a poll because Ohio State Sucks. Regardless of that truism, I wonder if more people start the moniker with Head, or Old.

I’ve been partial to Head Bald Coach, but I can come around on Old Bald Coach. CJF isn’t actually all that old though… Food for thought…

(copy pasta from press conference)

While a poll is useless, the opinions of Cari are the epitome of value. Please discern this issue.—MrNoPants

I say HBC because our coach, by most reasonable metric, is not “old”. But he does have a shaved head.

The best smelling B1G football coach is...

The worst smelling B1G football coach is…—CaptBombs

It kind of pains me but Scott Frost seems like he smells very good in a non-Axe body spray (read: Ryan Day) way. Louie Smith also seems like he smells good.

Pat Fitzgerald smells like sanctimonious douche, whatever that scent would be.

Is Washington now the city of champions? Caps, Nats in 2 years. Not much hope for the football team or the Bullets these days, but you never know.—LarzLion

You didn’t even mention the Mystics, who won the title this year too!

Let’s face it, as long as Dan Snyder is the owner of the football team, they’re not sniffing a conference title, but you never know what Ted Leonsis can do with the Wizards after what his ownership has brought to the Caps & Mystics.

Can an analysis be done to determine how far in advance the knuckleheads who spam the game threads with “free” viewing options are creating their accounts and then make that +3 days the wait time to start posting? Or, can you make known the email account they used to create their account so we can spam them back?—spigmana

Not really. Typically in the past, the one day waiting period has done a lot to cut down on spam accounts—by the time they are able to post, they’ve spammed enough other sites that there’s been an SBN-wide ban.

But I’m not masochistic enough to wade into the game threads most weeks, so I can’t speak to any specifics.

As an all-powerful mod, I’m guessing you can see the most rec’d comments here. What are the top five? I’m hoping that the most rec’d comment of all time is a GIF reply that makes absolutely no sense out of context, and then only makes sense in context to a BSD reader.—MJBPSU

Actually, this is not something I know how to do! I’m not even sure that the powers that be n charge of all SBN college blogs can. But if you’re on Twitter, hit up @MattSBN and ask him what’s up.

Is the BSD podcast gone for good?—Houtzy

Probably real life, and all.

When eating Skittles or M&M’s, do you snack on them individually (like a maniac) or shovel a dozen in your mouth at once (like any sane person would do)?—kavija66

Not really either. If I have a bag, I dump them out and sort them by color. Then I eat (in twos) the color that has the most pieces until all of the colors have the same number. Then I eat two at a time (of the same color), rotating through the rainbow.

Is Hallmark missing out on a huge opportunity by omitting profanity from their cards? When you care enough to send the very best, $@#&ing Hallmark—Dbridi

While this would be awesome, profanity (as well as sex in their movies, which as you all remember, I love) is verboten and most decidedly not allowed in their brand.

what app do you have on your phone/tablet that you never use but never delete? I have PacMan on my devices but I can’t remember the last time I ever used it and not sure why I keep it—kingkub

I just got a new phone in August, so there’s nothing on there I don’t use as of now. But on my iPad I have the QR reader app still installed for some reason because who scans QR codes from their non-mobile network-enabled iPad?

If you covered this last week, I missed it. Have you been watching the Mandalorian? Thoughts so far, other than baby Yoda is possibly the most adorable thing ever?—Former_DC_Buck

I actually haven’t watched yet! Nick Blonde from this here site is getting frustrated with me because he wants to talk about it, but I’ve been out of town since last week so simply haven’t had a chance. Hopefully this weekend, though.

i do love the memes I’ve seen about baby Yoda already, though.

What is the most off-the-wall prediction you can make for us? Does not need to be football related. Something that will make our jaws drop!—Paebr332

I predict that I will sidestep this question

Also, Venice will be entirely submerged before Ohio State wins another wrestling team national title.