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BSD Mailbag 3.8.2019

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Important Question

Was that dead cow found in that burning garbage truck in Camp Hill this week one of the following:

1.) A sick joke gone wrong (perhaps a ’Ship pledge prank)

2.) A missed opportunity to make a lot of scrapple

3.) A failed cover-up

4.) Something that Shultz should investigate? - LarzLion

For those of you unaware of what LarzLion is talking about, check out this story.

Honestly, it just sounds to me like some yokel had a cow that died, and rather than go through the apparently rigorous process of disposing of the best, hid it in the rest of their trash with the hope that it would just go away.

Regardless, we should definitely have Shultz investigate.

I’ve been playing this new game lately...

So I have a landline with caller ID, and an answering machine. (IKR—old man here.) Anyway, the game is this. A call comes in from a local number, and I have to decide if it’s legitimate or not. If I pick it up and it’s spam, I lose that round. If I let it go to the answering machine, I win. Conversely, if it’s a valid call and I let it go, I lose. It’s really fun, especially when you don’t pick up, and they don’t leave a message, but the same number calls back a minute later! Pick it up or not? Wow—It really gets the adrenaline pumping! You should try it sometime.

My question is this: when is the game over? How do I know if I won or lost? - 48-14

If this is what keeps you going through the off season, I dare say you already lost.

But real talk though, the number of robocalls in this country is too damn high! I play the same game with my cell phone; at least three quarters of the calls I get are spam, so I guess I win more often than not?

Should James Franklin dye his mustache blond like Antonio Brown? - Dbridi

I’m actually a fan of the silver fox thing he has going - sort of like how the Presidency ages you, being the head coach at PSU ages you. Takes a lot of effort to get a team into the top 10 regularly, and it shows.

Should bscaff, Jp and BMAN start a podcast called “Mystery Science BSD 3000”? After a column or FanPost exceeds 100 comments they’ll wait two weeks, then read them and editorialize. - Smee

That this hasn’t yet been done is a crime against humanity.

Also, is anyone else really disappointed with the reboot of Mystery Science Theater 3000? I used to love that show growing up; the new one just doesn’t seem to be as good.

Is Kyler Murray a moron for giving up bags of baseball money and a sport with far less wear and tear on the body?

Or is he smart for chasing probably larger celebrity as an NFL QB but being in a sport with greater risk of career ending injury (Theisman)? Which would you pick and why - RWReese

Someone pointed out the grind that goes with baseball, both in the duration of the season, and that even a highly touted draft pick still has to work their way up from the minors. To which I say - that’s really freaking dumb.

Would you rather have a couple years of annoying schedules and having to “prove yourself,” but then make obscene money, all the while NOT having to worry about CTE, or even the more immediate impact of a broken leg/wrist/ankle or concussion? Give me the “grind” of baseball, the oodles of money, and the functioning mind and body past the age of 50 please.

So I’m having breakfast in a sports bar/diner type place near my house, and apparently the Pac-12 has women’s beach volleyball. Or at least Cal and UW do. Is this something that could become a gimmick for the B1G to get into? You know, kind of like the cold-weather version of the Jamaican bobsled team?

I mean, it’s not like we haven’t proven we’ve got some ladies around these parts who are pretty good at the whole “volleyball” thing, too. - NittanyPUMA

Possible funny gimmick? Sure. Probably viewed as sexist? Sure.

On a more serious note, while the general idea between indoor volleyball and beach volleyball apply (don’t let the ball hit the ground on your side of the net), there’s a giant difference being on a team of 6 and a team of 2. I’ve no doubt that some of our lady volleyball players could do quite well at beach volleyball, but it’s a much different sport than the one they’ve played at PSU.

Who the F asked Trace to work out with the DBs? Keep disrespectin’ the kid. See what happens. - Dbridi

So on the one hand, asking the kid who owns (checks notebook) all of the PSU QB records to work out at DB is disrespectful.

On the other hand, as much as I love Trace, he clearly is not going to be handed a QB gig in the NFL. If he really wants to play on Sundays, he may be best suited switching to an athlete role, and seeing what pans out. We’re fans, sure, but we can admit when a player we love has shortcomings.

With it being the off-season and needing something to keep my football fix alive, I’ve been looking ahead at future schedules for probably the 10th time. Assuming we keep recruiting at this level what year’s schedule best plays into our favor? Also are we that hated in the B1G that we constantly get OSU and UM back to back sometimes including MSU in that? 2024 could be brutal if Nebraska gets good - Coach Hype’s Hype Man

I only looked out to 2023, since that’s the last year that has a full 12-team schedule available.

2019 - First year starter at QB (albeit a RS Sr), new starting RB, basically all new WRs. The offense will be okay, but may take a few weeks to iron out the wrinkles. The non-con is easy. The three game stretch of at Iowa, vs Michigan, at Michigan State will make or break next season.

2020 - vs Nevada, at Virginia Tech, and vs San Jose State is a unique non-con, and one that should be a pretty good early season test for (probable) first year starter RS Jr Sean Clifford. Again though, we’ve got vs Iowa and vs OSU in back-to-back weeks.

2021 - Too far out to have much say about the actual roster. In any case, I love this schedule, as we start the season at Wisconsin, then host both Auburn and Villanova. Wouldn’t be a B1G schedule without vs Michigan and at OSU in back-to-back weeks though.

2022 - Go to Auburn in the non-con, then vs OSU and at Michigan in back-to-back weeks. This year will be tough.

2023 - vs West Virginia and vs Delaware to start the season is fun. But 4 straight weeks we play at MSU, at OSU, vs Iowa, vs Michigan. Yikes.

Looking at those schedules, 2019 could be good if the offense sorts itself out, but that 3-game stretch is tough. 2020 will probably be another first-year starter at QB, but the schedule isn’t too bad. 2022 and 2023 have a bad combo of tough conference opponents, as well as difficult non-conference schedules.

Seems like 2021 may be the best bet for a really, really good season. But the fact is, our schedule is going to be tough more often than not. Assuming PSU keeps recruiting well, sooner or later it won’t matter, but for one to two games per year.

Oh Gawd

Are we gonna have to put up with this “mailbag” nonsense every week now??

But now a serious question… Is it true that the only reason Wade stepped out of the portal is because he realized he was the natural choice to fill the starting QB spot? - LocalYocal

Yes, you ungrateful plebeians.

I’m also going to ignore the actual second question asked, but talk about the portal for a minute. I think there’s nothing wrong with players testing the water. Doing it before you have a degree in hand seems kind of foolish to me, but maybe a player is just really unhappy for whatever reason. I also think PSU having so many kids in the portal this year will prove to be an aberration as the roster normalizes top to bottom. Someone like Wade throwing their name out there, testing the waters, and then staying home will probably happen here or there. I don’t think it’s a big deal.

What would some of the events be if they had combines for other professions?

Or conversely, how hilarious would it be if everyone had to do the same combine testing for their mundane jobs as football players, and then the results were posted at your job? - skarocksoi

Oh man, I’m an office drone, and I could just imagine. Instead of fastest 40, it’d be fastest time to collate reports. Most reps at the bench press would be most cups of coffee. Shuttle time is back and forth between your desk and the printer. I’d 100% be behind having the office records posted on a big board, so you can see just how many times Karen from accounting changed the toner on the printer in less than a minute.

Minivan/Large SUV input

The wife and I are (recently discovered) expecting number 4 and will be looking this summer to upsize from our current vehicles. Wife is on team minivan and I’m leaning more towards the large SUV… Any thoughts from those of you who already have these vehicles? - mbailey71

I grew up with both vehicles, and currently drive a CR-V with two little ones. I’ll just say that my family of four, plus friends, going on trips and to sporting events, the minivan is hands down the way to go. You will never want for room, and you’ll get better gas mileage to boot.

Personally, I’m a fan of the Sienna for the sole reason that it has AWD, but if you don’t need it, the Odyssey is a sweet ride too.

Are people fundamentally “good” or fundamentally “bad”?

I heard someone say that a typical American believes that people are fundamentally good, and that is atypical in the world. So I’d like to get to the bottom of this issue and what better place to get scientifically accurate takes than here? So to cover two interpretations

1. Are people fundamentally good or bad?

2. Is the American perception of people’s nature different than that of other nationalities? - 48-14

I like these sorts of questions.

Put me in the fundamentally bad category, but that’s more because people are fundamentally selfish. You best believe that if a survival situation pops up, and the choice is to save myself or save you, I’ll save myself every time.

That being said, there are a great many times when the selfish act is actually a good act. Most of society is predicated on people doing good things for each other. Basically, if you do good things (do your job well, help out a neighbor when they’re moving, etc.), you are viewed in a positive light by the rest of society (or your employer), and thus have good things come your way.

As for the second part of the question, it could just be that most Americans think differently than I do. Perhaps they’re less critical of their own actions, or rather than look at the practicality of being nice, delude themselves into thinking they’re being nice because they’re just a good person. But then I always hear from foreigners that Americans are hands down the loudest and most friendly people, and are easily identifiable when we travel abroad. So who knows?