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BSD Potpourri Vol 2: Pretzels

King Frederick the Great Photo by: Bildagentur-online/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

A wise friend recently pointed out that the current AP Top 25 stands without Oklahoma, Texas, or LSU - and that’s a rare thing. They’ve won 4 of the last 20 MNFs. According to our quick sleuthing (we added the adjective “quick” to acknowledge that we may be incorrect, because, “quick” in this instance is just a euphemism for “lazy blogger”), the last time all three fell outside the Top 25 was October 13th, 1998. That’s nearly a quarter century.

Strange times, we’re living.

Meanwhile, as faceless globocorps transform our locales into monotonously repetitive and completely indistinguishable hellscapes, we wanted to pass along two recent discoveries of old-timey regional food items. The first is an apple. It’s the best tasting, most well balanced apple we’ve encountered. Firm bite, excellent crunch and chew, with perfect amounts of sweet and tart. Its name is “Nittany”, and was originally developed by The Pennsylvania State University. Why you would ever purchase another apple variety, after learning these facts, is beyond us.

The second regional food item is Uncle Henry’s pretzels. No other hard pretzel anywhere on planet Earth can compete with it. Take a look at Uncle Henry’s production facility. LOOK AT IT. Do you notice anything strange about it? That’s correct - people. These pretzels are made by humans, from God-made ingredients, which were grown in the fields directly behind the pretzel shop. Each pretzel is unique, yet all are delicious. We strongly recommend the “extra salt” version because we need to feed our blood pressure - keep it pegged in the 230 over 110 range - but if you’re a sissypants, you may want the “regular”.

Handyman Product Department

Chances are that you grew up with WD-40. We did. Blue and yellow can, weird pseudo-science name - it looks like it ought to penetrate rusted metal parts, and help them break loose. And it does. We’re still fans of it.

Chances, also, are that you don’t need to un-seize stuck engine pistons. We recognize that this isn’t an everyday occurrence. But, if you do, then we cannot recommend Sea Foam Deep Creep strongly enough. Use it to get your spark plugs out. Squirt it into the plug holes. Let it work for a day. And - TA-DA - with a little encouragement, the Sea Foam will eat right through a decade of neglect. The stuff is miraculous.

(and no - we’re not sponsored by any of the aforementioned products)

Just one more week to go, and we’ll have a foosball-like substance. It’s actually not terrible timing. If you’re fortunate enough to live in the mid-Atlantic, there’s simply no better time of year than right now. The leaves, the brisk air, funnel cakes - and soon, the cracking of shoulder pads. Hooray for autumn.