Today marks the holiday of Festivus. For those of you familiar with the classic Seinfeld episode, we’ve decided to bring back our airing of the grievances that we started doing last year, given the positive feedback that it got from our fellow readers. For those who aren’t familiar or need a refresher, here’s a clip for you:
While grievances are typically aired out against other people, we’ve decided to take liberty with this edition and allow them to be aired out against things (in addition to people). As always, feel free to air your own grievances in the comments section below.
COVID-19...You’ve not only upended our lives, but you also upended what was shaping up to be a special year for Penn State fans. We saw the greatest basketball season in a quarter century end without a guaranteed trip to March Madness for the first time in nine years, the wrestling program denied a chance to add another national title to their trophy collection, a promising men’s lacrosse season come to an abrupt end...And don’t even get me started on how promising the 2020 football season was looking before you showed up! You are a scourging curse upon society and I can’t wait until I get that vaccine sometime in 2021 and am able to see my teams play in person again.
Oh, and Michael Penix was definitely short of the pylon. I will have this written on the urn holding my cremated ashes.
Are turn signals that hard to figure out? There’s a little stick on the side of your steering wheel column, and if you push it up or down, it tells EVERYONE ELSE what you’re planning on doing. Planning on changing lanes? Turn signal! Doing anything other than going straight at a stop sign? Turn signal! Parking on a busy road? Turn signal! The possibilities are endless! I can’t read your mind, man, don’t just move your several-thousand-pound death machine at 75 MPH on the freeway into me assuming I’ll get out of the way.
Oh, and on a related note: Turn signals are NOT to tell me what you’re already doing. Don’t start moving into my lane, cutting me off, and THEN put your turn signal on. It’s you asking me a question, and me deciding if I can oblige, not you telling me what illegal activity you want to do, ya jabroni!
I’ll be the first to admit that Brent Pry has done an overall good job in his five seasons as defensive coordinator at Penn State. He’s also excelled with halftime/in game adjustments. That said... please for the love of God just once could the defense be ready to play at the start of the game?!
We have seen it time and time again. The defense starts slow and digs a big hole. Some times the offense pulls them out of it, such as the Illinois and Michigan State wins the past two weeks. Other times, such as Maryland this season and Minnesota last season, the offense is unable to overcome the slow start by the defense.
So Brent, please, find a way to be better at not starting games so slow defensively!