Who Should Wear #0?

In case you missed it, the NCAA is now allowing players to don the #0. I imagine this makes people who yell at clouds mad, but in my opinion, this is a fantastic move. #0 has long been an underrated cool number in the NBA, and now college football players will be able to #swag out with it.

The question now is: which Penn State player should wear #0?

RB NOAH CAIN

I think one of the laws for wearing #0 is that wearing it adds to your #swag. By that I mean, you should already have #swag, wearing #0 just moves it up a level. Like you can’t be a dork and wear #0. It doesn’t make you look cool. It just makes you look like a dork who is trying waaaaay too hard.

Anyway, Noah Cain has #swag, so definitely no dork issues here. For Cain, it’s all about the brand, and being #0 would certainly add to it. #21 is a good number. #0 is a greater number.

RB TANK JOHNSON

Honestly, I picked Tank Johnson because he is a literal bowling ball at 5-foot-7, 220 pounds, and I think #0 would fit him well.

DT FRED HANSARD

Similar to Tank Johnson, I just LOL at the thought of 6-foot-3, 318-pound Fred Hansard wearing #0 while being a 1-Tech space-eating defensive tackle. Plus, #53 is kind of a lame number, but no, I wouldn’t say that to Hansard’s face.

DE BRYCE MOSTELLA

Okay, I know I said #0 is all about #swag. But I can be convinced it’s all about quirky — and folks, after seeing Bryce Mostella’s commitment video, I feel like he’ll fit the quirky vibe.

CB MARQUIS WILSON

This is the actual answer. Marquis Wilson is as #swag as they come. Like if you told me Wilson wears a Deion Sanders-esque bandana underneath his helmet, I would believe you because Wilson is just that cool. Now imagine the bandana with #0? Ladies and gents, that is #swag overload — but the good kind.