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Koerbler PR: Is Penn State Actually 7-0?

Oh yes.

NCAA Football: Illinois at Penn State Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Did someone say 0-2 after a 5-0 start? Well hello folks, the PR expert has entered the building. Time to spin this baby into a positive.

1. We All Were A Part Of History

When I woke up on Saturday, if someone asked me if I wanted to be a part of an historical event, I would have responded with a resounding “yes.” And fortunately for myself, I was a part of history as I got to witness the longest overtime game in college football history. Nine overtimes of back and forth drama! Wow! Who cares what the score ways, it doesn’t matter who won — all I know is that Penn State is etched into the record books. Awesome.

2. Penn State Is Still Basically Undefeated

This isn’t to take anything away from Iowa or Illinois, but Penn State is pretty much 7-0 when you think about it.

  • If Clifford plays the whole game against Iowa, Penn State wins 10/10 times.
  • The very unfair and biased Big Ten refs overturned a Penn State fumble recovery touchdown because they said that Illinois’ running back’s forward progress had been stopped. Shouldn’t have been overturned, and if it wasn’t, Penn State wins in dominating 17-10 fashion.

If you argue against the two bullet points, you are a #hater and I won’t respect you.

3. Penn State Has Now Gone One (1) Game Without Faking Injuries

Penn State might have “lost” (see No. 2) on Saturday, but at least we have our integrity of not faking an injury. Hopefully, James Franklin has finally learned his lesson and won’t have his best players get taken off the field with “injuries.” Thank you, Kirk Ferentz — thank you.

4. The Offensive Line Didn’t False Start Eight Times

Just one game removed from what felt like a false start every other play, I don’t recall one false start on any Penn State offensive lineman. Folks, it’s safe to say that Phil Trautwein is coaching those boys up.

5. Sean Clifford Is Confirmed Back

After Sean Clifford popped up at practice last Wednesday, there were some questions on when exactly he would play. Well, I am proud to confirm he played the entire game on Saturday, and only grabbed his back after pretty much every hit and couldn’t run at all and looked really inaccurate. But my goodness, he played the entire game.

6. Drew Allar Didn’t Decommit Out Of Embarrassment

You’re stuck with us, Allar. (Please don’t leave it.)

7. James Franklin Is Totally Not Interested In USC Or LSU, In Fact, He Couldn’t Be More Locked In On This Week’s Game If He Tried

Franklin dispelled rumors on Tuesday about his name being brought up with other jobs around the country. He said don’t worry Nittany Nation, my complete focus is on “Illinois” (meant Ohio State) in the “Big House” (meant the *Horseshoe) this Saturday.

I for one, am excited for Franklin to a drop a “Go Tigers...I mean Lions. Go Lions” on the radio show this week.

*(I am only referring to Ohio State’s stadium as the “Big House” and Michigan’s stadium as the “Horseshoe” from now on. You’ve been warned.)

8. The Panthers Lost Their Last Four Games

I mention this for no reason at all. What was that? Penn State alum Matt Rhule coaches the Panthers? Huh? Hadn’t realized. Oh, you think I’m insinuating — oh no! Not at all!

9. If Penn State Was Going To Beat Ohio State, It Was Going To Be After A Dumb Loss

I mentioned this last year after the Indiana loss, but this idea that Penn State was going to walk into the Horseshoe 7-0, ranked No. 2 in the country, and beat Ohio State on its way to the College Football Playoff — that’s fantasyland. I root for Penn State. I am not that lucky. Instead, our glorious victory over Ohio State will be one where we all go “Oh, now we beat Ohio State?”