Happy Festivus! We hope this holiday finds you filled with good tidings and cheer. Actually, that can wait until later in the week. For Festivus is a day to air our grievances, and boy, are they far numerous.
We channeled our inner-Frank Costanza to air our grievances as we look back at 2021, a year that left us with much chagrin from too many directions. Here are a few of our grievances, and please mark this lovely Festivus Day with all the grievances from 2021 you need to get off your chest.
Do the people who think James Franklin should’ve been fired believe that Penn State would’ve fared well in what turned out to be the wildest coaching carousel in modern college football history, or that this superb 2022 recruiting class would’ve remained intact as a result? There’s a good chance we’re watching Drew Allar and other key prospects decommitting while new head coach Matt Campbell settles for replacing them with a bunch of middling 3-star prospects and PSU’s recruiting going forward fails to be at the levels it has been under Franklin. I don’t care how much better of an in-game coach the next guy might have been, X’s and O’s don’t mean squat if your team doesn’t have the Jimmies and the Joes (assuming your goal is to see PSU win a national title in your lifetime/once more before you croak).
Also, while I’m at it: No, the lack of modern athletic facilities/dorms is not the reason a bad play happened. Yes, it is absolutely necessary to upgrade said facilities if you want to see more elite recruits committing to PSU and put the team in positions where such bad plays aren’t fatal. If you’re sick of seeing top recruits making several visits to PSU and seemingly leaning towards committing, only to be swayed upon one visit to Georgia, Alabama, or some other top-notch SEC program, then take your “lazy river” jokes and shove them directly up your ass.
Players opting out of bowl games.
Look, I get it, players are going to prioritize their NFL careers over a non-CFP/NY6 bowl game. That said, as a die hard college football fan seeing players opt out of bowl games still sucks. It hits home especially hard as you see Penn State players opting out for the Outback Bowl, putting the Nittany Lions in a tough, tough spot against a good Arkansas team.
Fruitcake. Seriously, it’s like someone took the worst of every possible food and combined it to make a “dessert.” And no, don’t come at me saying “oh well you just haven’t had good fruitcake.” I have. It was awful. The densest, least flavorful food that manages to throw in little squishy and/or crunchy tidbits that do nothing to enhance the flavor, but instead provide a new and somehow worse mouthfeel. Awful.
Oh, we wanted to complain about Penn State football? I’ll go with non-stop negative Nancys. Look, I get it, we all want Penn State to be #1 forever, but that literally may never happen. Instead of enjoying each season for what it is, we get people complaining that every loss is going to be the death of the program, OR we get people kvetching even when Penn State does win. The win wasn’t “good enough” or a certain position group looked “mediocre” or some other asinine complaint. Stop it. Get help. If all you’re going to do is be miserable regardless of how well Penn State does, find a new hobby. Don’t stink up the place with your non-stop negativity and toxic taeks.
It’s been deja vu all over again this fall. As some of you may recall, I have the lifelong affliction of being a fan of the Cleveland Browns. It’s a series of lows that eventually freefall to rock bottom, only for new depths to somehow be discovered.
This season has been made even more painful by a startling similarity to Penn State’s season. Both had moments in the beginning where it seemed like big things were finally on the horizon. Yep, the stars were aligned for major breakthrough seasons for both of my beloved teams. Instead, things disintegrated, and quickly. Each Saturday and Sunday, I would watch defenses that did all they could to pull out a win, only for an offense that couldn’t stop tripping over itself to ultimately spell doom. At one point I was thinking of playoff games and potential championships. It ended up with Penn State limping to a 2-5 finish, and the Browns sitting in last place in the AFC North with its slim hopes of making the playoffs quickly disappearing.