BSD Mailbag: Spring Football Edition

Given their current development, do you believe the team will be undefeated in 2021 or are you a giant pansy?
-MainLion

Call me a giant pansy, but I can’t predict a victory against Ohio State until I see it happen again. Those blown leads in ‘17 and ‘18 were so demoralizing, I refuse to give in to my optimistic side until they actually prove it on the field. I’ll go with my ho-hum prediction of a loss to Ohio State and another loss in a game where all the bounces go the opposite way. Which leads up to...

What record would you consider a success for the 2021 season?
-PhillyLion

I’ll set the bar high *following a losing season* and go with 10-2. I’m counting the 2020 record as a terrible combination of bad luck and not the program heading in the wrong direction. The 4-5 debacle included losing Micah Parsons, Pat Freiermuth, Noah Cain, a new offensive coordinator attempting to install his offense via Zoom, the emotional fallout after the week one disaster in Bloomington, and much more. This is not a rebuilding year, but there are enough question marks that will prevent them from being a legitimate playoff contender.

List the pros and cons of installing wrestling mats on the floors throughout the house. I can think of no cons. Keep in mind this is a house with babies. One of them is a lunatic and the other is watching the lunatic.
-Gerry Dincher

First off, congratulations to you and your spouse on the new additions to your family! The more I think about it, the harder it is to come up with any cons. The mats will protect your little ones, as well as your flooring from all the wear and tear and general destruction from tiny humans. They should be able to clean up very easily as well. The only issue I foresee is the mats being torn up by any pets you have, or plan on getting down the road (or when you break after your children beg you for a puppy for the millionth time).

How much would you pay for an indestructible USB cord?
-Dbridi

Not as much as I would pay for an indestructible adapter on my phone. I don’t like to replace phones until it’s absolutely necessary, which has led me to the current situation of needing to have my phone placed upside down, leaning against the wall, held in place by a book so it will charge. It gets the job done, but would be nice to simply plug my phone in like a somewhat normal person.

Do you feel Ed O’Neill would be a more suitable DC than Brent Pry?
-EagleLionSly

Come on, it’s obviously Pry. Cut the man some slack. However, I would immediately hire Ed O’Neil as a fullback advocate, as well as run game coordinator. He did portray one of the greatest fictional football players of all-time (who scored four touchdown in one game), which is good enough for me.

Where can I get the best fried chicken sandwich?
-Success with Honor Always

Quite possibly the best meal I’ve ever had was Prince’s Hot Chicken in Nashville. It’s so good that I’ve seriously considering hoping in my car and making the eight-hour drive after a bad day.

They do not have a chicken sandwich on the menu, but the chicken is served on top of a piece of white bread that absorbs the grease, and when combined with the tiny bits of fried skin, is absolutely FANTASTIC.

All I will say about the post-meal process is that you may want to have a lengthy book on hand for the extensive time sitting on the commode the next morning, and if you get anything above ‘medium,’ some chilled toilet paper will come in handy.

Who is our next player (that most people don’t know) who earns single name status?
Dbridi

The player who immediately jumps to mind is Parker Washington, who did wonders considering the lack of practice time ahead of his true freshman season. We’ll see him grow further in 2021, especially considering all of the attention that will be paid to Jahan Dotson.

But Parker is at least known to the Penn State fanbase, so how about incoming freshman linebacker Kobe King? The coaches have been raving about his maturity and ability, and has the tools to be a true standout for Linebacker U. While it may not happen in 2021, my gut tells me that he is a star in the making.