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NCAA Football: Northwestern at Penn State

MMQB: Brussels Sprouts

Matthew OHaren-USA TODAY Sports

MMQB asserts that Saturday’s game against Northwestern was the football equivalent of Brussels sprouts.

Brussels sprouts are (ostensibly) good for us. Various websites will tell you that they are dense with nutrients, chock full of antioxidants, fiber-rich, loaded with vitamins, and low in calories. Eating them is said to reduce inflammation and boost your immune system.

They also taste gross.

Penn State winning is (ostensibly) good for us. Various websites will tell you that they are in the top 10, control their destiny on this season, are recruiting very well, and are not named Pitt. Beating Northwestern is said to reduce cardiac inflammation and boost your happiness.

The also played gross.

Is this an oversimplification?


Did I hate almost the entire game on Saturday?


I had vivid flashbacks to both Michigan State 2017 (noted monsoon-haver) and Illinois 2021 (noted 9 OT-haver). A much less talented team hung out with Penn State due in large (sole?) part because of the weather, and the offense’s inexplicable inability to hold onto the ball serIOUSLY IS IT THAT HARD NOT TO FUMBLE FOR THE 46TH TIME?

. . .

I digress.

All in all, previous versions of Penn State likely lose that game. I’d argue better versions of Penn State DID lose that game, at least in 2017. So a win is a win, no matter how you get it, and the Lions head to the bye week undefeated and in the top 10.

But gosh almighty was that win gross.

Not at all unlike Brussels sprouts.

Before I hear from people about how good Brussels sprouts are, I generally think they’re fine. But for them to be fine (for me at least), I need them to be roasted and doused in balsamic vinaigrette, or covered in some Brie and/or seasoned breadcrumbs. If a vegetable - which as noted above does have a ton of health benefits - requires me to douse it in my daily allotment of fat, dairy, and cholesterol, I daresay it loses those benefits.

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