Happy Festivus, Dear Reader! Knowing our audience’s demographics, we figure most of you are familiar with Seinfeld and in particular, the fictional holiday of Festivus. If not, here’s a little refresher.
One of the traditions of Festivus involves the “airing of the grievances” in which you rant about how something or someone has disappointed you this year. You can check out our prior grievances from 2019, 2020, 2021 after seeing our current ones, below. And as always, feel free to air out your own grievances in the comments below!
Look, I’m glad college athletes now have a method of getting paid for all of their hard work they put into their respective sports, but good lord, it is the freaking Wild West with the complete lack of regulation regarding NIL. Just this week on National Signing Day for the 2023 football recruiting class, we saw five-star defensive back Peyton Bowen flip from Notre Dame to Oregon to Oklahoma, all in the span of 24 hours. Since when did consideration of things such as fitting in with the coaching staff and being satisfied with how they would utilize you go completely out the window?
You know what really grinds my gears? People driving. Are turn signals that difficult? Is it so much to ask that you indicate that you want to change lanes? Or, better yet, when people put the blinker on AS THEY’RE ALREADY HALFWAY IN MY LANE. Get out of here, you entitled swine.
Oh! And how about people tailgating? I’m doing 10 over in the right lane, GO AROUND. Double points if it’s a jacked up pickup with surface-of-the-sun headlights. No, thank you, I didn’t want to actually SEE the road ahead of me. Jackwagon.
People are terrible drivers, and shouldn’t be allowed to drive. Give me automated vehicles ASAP.
Attention people who live in Pennsylvania and act like you forget all basic rules of life when it snows.. I’ve got a lot of problems with you people and now you’re going to hear about it!
Listen, we live in Pennsylvania. It snows. It gets windy. It gets cold. The weather absolutely sucks this time of year. YOU SHOULD BE USED TO THIS YOU LIVE IN PENNSYLVANIA WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!? Put your winter tires on, take your time (but don’t drive too slow, we all know what the happy medium is) when driving, shovel, plow, salt your sidewalks and steps, and dress accordingly. This isn’t hard. Stop acting like you can’t be a functional member of society because of bad weather in the Pennsylvania winter.
Who’s up for some feats of strength!?